The Guilty Feminist

Also, wondering if you’d like to go to this with me…https://www.facebook.com/events/1643765342395990/ I listen to the podcast and it’s really good and I thought it might be up your street. Lucy messaged.

I had a quick look and I was intrigued. I didn’t look it up beforehand. I wanted to see whether I’d enjoy it without knowing much about it.

A couple of months later, 22nd of May, 2019

After delicious dinner at Soleto’s, which was mainly occupied (except our friend Dan and the chef) by women who were about to watch the show, we headed to the theatre, again mainly women. It felt surprisingly, unexpectedly empowering to be amongst so many women.

Three hours later, we left the theatre with a smile on our face, happy, re-enacting some of the funny moments whilst pondering on what true feminism is and how still to the day there’s so much discrimination, even in small, little things we barely notice.

Deborah Frances-White, comedian and hostess of the show and her guests for the evening Bridget Christie, Desiree Burch, Sophie Duker and Grace Petrie were amazing. I couldn’t stop laughing with Bridget, Desiree and Sophie’s comedy on dating in your 40s, bi-sexuality, racism and many other hot topics that women get grief on.

I loved Grace Petrie’s political folk songs and what an excellent idea of Deborah’s to introduce two local charities who spoke to us about the incredible work they do, Yellowdoor supporting and preventing domestic and sexual abuse and Chrysalis supporting transgender people and their significant others.

I’m now already a big fan of Deborah. Funny, witty, intelligent, charismatic (someone I met recently called me charismatic and I burst out laughing, I never thought of myself as charismatic). The following day I watched her Tedx talk from a few years ago and that blew my mind.

I already started listening to her podcast (you can listen here or look up Guilty Feminist on Spotify, it’s Deborah with guests discussing feminism in the modern world and of course it’s thought-provoking, inspiring and hilarious) and bought her book.

If only there were more women like Deborah. No wait, there are. Everywhere. You and me and many others say no to what (mainly male dominated) society dictates every day by not getting married or having children just for the sake of it, we refuse to get into an unhappy, unfulfilling relationship because if you are single it means ‘something is wrong with you’, we follow our dreams even if that means being the only female colleague in that engineering company, we do what we think is right for us, we have sex for fun and not just to please someone else, we don’t need make up and toned bodies to make us feel good about ourselves but we wear or not wear make up and exercise or not for ourselves.

Feminism is not about not shaving (unless that’s what you genuinely like) or being a lesbian or not letting a man help you put together a coffee table or feeling guilty you love face creams and rom-coms. It’s about all of the things I mentioned above, not conforming to man-made society norms, be whoever you want to be without stupid gender restrictions and many more, like not letting an unwanted dick pic or a wolf whistle or groping become socially acceptable.

Start your own business, do what you love for a living without feeling guilty for not just being a parent or wife or partner or daughter or sister . You can be all of these but above all you need to be yourself, love yourself, look after you.

A Facebook friend, ex- colleague who I rarely chat with (we all have a few of those on our friends list) recently messaged me to say that he loves my feminist social media. I thanked him, though I never considered my opinions as feminist, until I went to Deborah’s show. Then I understood what he meant.

So here’s to all inspiring women, our mums, sisters, friends, strangers who we admire, ourselves and those in the limelight, all of the feminist advocates.

Thank you Lucy for introducing me to this great community. I’ll miss you!

Eleni