books – Lessons I learned after I turned 30

‘Help me’, the most honest self-help book on self-help books.

15th of October, a gloomy, rainy afternoon

It’s been raining all day, well, at least since 10am when I finally woke up and dragged myself out of bed. I made a cup of coffee and snuggled on my sofa with a blanket. Sunday Brunch was on. I love this show but only watched for a short while and then grubbed my book. Help Me, by Marianne Power.

Shebs recommended it- ‘You will love it!’ she said- and I got it a few weeks ago but it’s been such a busy 14 days I didn’t get the time to read much more than about 100 pages since I bought it.

But after the last two weeks I burned out. Mentally and physically. That’s what I do when I struggle. I keep myself busy all the time to avoid being with myself. And then I crush.

I couldn’t read this book at a more appropriate time. I could relate to it at so many levels, so incredibly honest, thought-provoking and at points sad and hilarious. Not many books made me cry and laugh. I finished it that afternoon. So what is it about?

It’s about the author’s year long adventure, a mid-thirties journalist living in London who despite doing what she loves for a living and wonderful friends and family, she is not happy. Excessive drinking and wasting any money she earns ending up in huge debt has not helped so she decides to take on a quest. She will try and follow to the letter a self-help book each month for a year.

And she did-ish. From Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, the Secret (not many books I dislike as much as the Secret), Tony Robbins the 10-Day Tony Challenge (who I personally think is just a salesman, making false promises to vulnerable people for a very expensive price), Get the Guy by Matthew Hussey to Daring Greatly by Brene Brown (Brene’s TedX talk on vulnerability is just brilliant).

She tried it all, from juicing diets, to deliberately attempting to get rejected, to swimming in a freezing lake in January, Tony Robbin’s ridiculous conference to a week long ‘Fuck it’ workshop in Italy. It all started well but during this she alienated herself from her friends and family, she broke down many times and in the end?

In the end she learned one thing: the only one who can really help you is yourself. No self-help book would magically transform your life.

I’m not sure whether I loved it so much because I could surprisingly relate to most of it (I’d say probably all of it except the job bit, I’m still stuck to a job I don’t enjoy and took everything out of it I could possibly take), single, for similar reasons, dealing with all the mid-thirties chaotic dilemmas and anxieties.

Thank you Marianne. Thank you for sharing your story, being vulnerable and opening up about what it feels like to be stressed, depressed, worried, sad especially nowadays is incredibly brave but also liberating. That moment when you realise what you are going through is more common than you think, that others not only understand but also have been through this themselves, is just magical, is what connects all humans on another level.

And thank you for beautifully, honestly and accurately describing how the quest of meaning and happiness in this crazy world is not an easy ride but appreciating what you have, loving and taking care of yourself and others make it worthwhile.

‘But I see now that perfection does not exist and happiness comes not from getting what you think you want but from opening your eyes and recognising that you have everything you could possibly need right now’ Marianne Power

Eleni

Break

When you need to stop to take a breath,

when the world is too much, should I’ve stayed or left?

When you feel stuck and wonder, what the meaning of this is,

should I keep going or should I just exist?

Stop.

Take a deep breath.

Get lost in a book, forget all the rest.

In magical worlds, in fairy tales, with angels and devils.

In Wonderland.

It’s not a great poem, it may not rhyme,

but I truly hope I made you smile 🙂

Eleni

PS Thank you Solent University for my Waterstones £100 giftcard. The most wonderful gift at a much needed time.

Falling in love with London again- Birthday brunch at Borough market, shopping and giggles

Monday, 21st of May

I just woke up. I checked my phone, sweet, wonderful messages from friends, family, even people I didn’t expect to hear from. I’ll check them out later. I need to get up.

One of the first ones I read makes me giggle. I’m so lucky to have such awesome friends. Remember that next time you doubt yourself.

Birthdays, the one day most people remember you. I always found the idea of birthdays a bit… surreal. Why do we celebrate getting older once a year? And why do we care if people remember our birthdays? Why do I care?

Artemis got me a gift. It’s been wrapped up, on the hotel’s tiny, shiny dressing table since Friday, waiting for today to open it.

She is one of my best friends and she knows me very well. So, of course I loved it. A handmade notebook. Gorgeous. Just gorgeous. I can’t wait to start using it.

(Thank you Andrea Illustration for my simply stunning wonderful gift)

After our last breakfast (we are leaving early for the airport tomorrow, no time for food) at the hotel we get ready and off we go. It’s sunny and warm. Perfect day to wear my favourite floral cardigan and rose earrings.

We are heading to my favourite food market in London, Borough market. Freshly made smoothies, gourmet chocolates, delicious doughnuts, heavenly smelling street food, specialty tea, flowers, cheese, a lot of cheese, just some of the goodies you can find there.

My idea of heaven.

I remember the first time I’ve been to Borough Market. A sunny summer day in 2015. Costas loved doughnuts and I scoured the web to find the best ones in London, since we were about to visit. I found an article on ‘The 10 best doughnuts to try in London’ and one of them was the salted caramel and honeycomb doughnut by Bread Ahead Bakery. They had a stall at Borough market, one of the best food markets in London. Decided then. That will be our first stop. I tell Costas. He is not too bothered about it. Why am I even trying?

I went there just for the doughnuts but I left with much more. I was in awe. I loved everything about it. The rest of that day was not as exciting, we had a heated argument which almost ruined the awesome plan I made for the day but I was so proud and happy I discovered this market (and the Hunterian museum, and Brick Lane market, thoroughly recommend!), it didn’t matter much if I was right (I was) or wrong or how his behaviour made me feel. If it were for him we wouldn’t have seen any of this. I wish I realised then how unhappy I was and ended it much sooner. But better late than never right? I wonder how many people are in unhappy relationships but don’t realise…

I’ve been to Borough market a couple of times since, and I loved every single one of them.

After devouring-ish (we couldn’t finish them!) our delicious tomato, pesto and mozzarella sandwiches and grabbing a salted caramel and honeycomb doughnut and cinnamon bun for later, we wandered in Oxford Street going in and out of shops. We must have spent an hour or so laughing whilst trying sunglasses in TK Maxx. We left with a couple of pairs each, just because we look supercool in them.

We used to love shopping in our early 20s. Now we do as little as possible. How people change when they grow up and stop caring too much about clothes and other materialistic needs that don’t matter anymore.

Whilst Artemis was in Primark shopping for her little one, I opted for a cup of coffee and a piece of fruit cake and caught up with my birthday messages.

I accidentally opened a work-related email. I don’t check my emails when I’m off work, how did this happen?

And I find out, Dave, our boss is leaving. Very soon. He is going to the Asian University of Women, in Bangladesh, very soon. How soon is very soon?

I couldn’t believe it. I message Donna, she confirms. Almost instantly I feel sad. Happy for him, this is once in a lifetime opportunity at an inspirational University, they are so lucky to have him, but so so sad he is leaving.

You don’t come across people like him often. I’ll write about it when I get the chance. He deserves a whole post.

When we were done with shopping it was time for Artemis to finally try Wagamama for the first time. One of the few chains I like. I tried their udon noodles, because one of the greatest pleasures in life is tasting food you’ve never tasted before. That very first bite, when you don’t know what to expect…and then… the explosion of flavours in your mouth, followed by the almost reflective ‘mmmm’, the universal sign of delicious food…

We spent our last evening packing, chatting, planning our next adventure, a perfect end to my 32nd birthday, I day I’ll always remember.

Tuesday, 22nd of May

We got up very early. We are so sleepy we can barely see. We somehow make it to the airport, after a packed tube and train ride.

I love London and the last three days have been amazing. It always makes me want to move here. But that packed tube and train ride persuades me otherwise. I couldn’t possibly do this every day… or maybe I can, I guess it’s all about getting used to it. We humans are incredible adjusting, adapting…I can get used to it. But what if I don’t? I thought I’d get used to having a flatmate but I still hate it… maybe some things you can’t get used to… or maybe it takes more time. Why am I thinking of this now? I’m not even moving to London!!!

I walk Artemis to the security check gates, give her a big hug and wave her goodbye.

I’m on my own again. I feel a bit lost. I had a cry. I’m so grateful, blessed to have spent the last three days with one of my favourite humans.

I still don’t know how I feel about turning 32. One moment I’m happy I’m alive, healthy and I’m not stuck in a miserable relationship, I have awesome friends and family who love me, I get to do whatever I want to and I have a job it pays well enough so I can live on my own again, next minute I feel bad I haven’t figured out what I want to do for a living yet, sad that I may never have my own family, since I’m now in my early thirties, but I won’t compromise just for the sake of it, I deserve better, worried that I won’t get to travel as much as I want to, I’ll never have enough money to follow my dreams and the list goes on…

One day at a time dear…

After a quick coffee, I head back to Southampton.

I finally finished reading Love In The Time Of Cholera. I cried again. I’m not sure what to think of Florentino Ariza and his lifetime love for Fermina. It’s sad, it’s so sad, how can someone love another human for 40 years and still chase her in his 70s even though she rejected him so many times? Was it a happy ending? Was it sad? Bittersweet I guess. Like life. A happy melancholy…hah

Namaste

Eleni

You are very much on time

Today I’m not reflecting back on last week.

I weirdly can’t remember much of it. It’s all a blur. I remember walking home after my hairdresser’s appointment on Monday evening, only to find out the next day that a girl was raped at the very same park I walked through, roughly at the same time I passed by.

I didn’t hear a thing. It was only 6:30pm in the evening. It shouldn’t be dangerous walking through a park with so many people around early in the evening.

I no longer walk through the park at night, most days. Some days I’m angry that women in this day and age are advised not to walk through a park in the afternoon, just to be on the safe side, so I walk through it and I’m ready to fight whoever tries to even touch me.

I remember Mike’s birthday lunch and the fire at Waterstone’s whilst we were at Turtle Bay. How sad to see all the books, all the beautiful books with amazing stories on their pages, all the philosophy, science, literature, fiction books that open up our minds and teach us valuable lessons burnt.

And I remember having delicious pies for lunch on Thursday. This is it. The rest is nonsensical in my brain.

What I vividly remember is waking up one day during the week in tears. I was terrified, panicking. Panicking this year is going so fast, too fast. I cannot believe it’s already March.

I went through a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts. I’ve been contemplating about life a lot this week.

‘Am I good enough?’

‘What should I do next?’

‘What do I really want to do next?’

‘What if I die right now?’

‘What have I achieved in my life so far?’

‘I am running out of time. I’m almost 32, what should I do?’

Excruciatingly painful questions with no simple answers.

And then I remembered. I remembered a video my lovely Lou sent me.

A simple, minute and a half long video going through examples on how people achieve different things at different times. One might have become a CEO when they were 22 and then died a year later whereas someone else became a CEO when they were 50 and lived until their 90. Just an example to show that we all work on our own time zones, some might seem ahead and some might seem behind you, we shouldn’t mock them or envy them. Because we are all running our own race, in our own time, our own time zone.

So simple, yet so powerful. I’m in my own time zone, as you are in yours.

It’s incredibly tough to not compare yourself to others. Society norms dictate and often measure your success on others. But that’s not the case.

I recently finished reading one of the best books I’ve ever read and I would recommend it to anyone and everyone, Emotional Intelligence, why it can matter more than IQ by Daniel Goleman.

I’ve learned a lot from this one book, from the neuroscience behind it to what Emotional Intelligence is to how developing it can benefit yourself, others, the society, the world, but I won’t go into much detail, one must read it to get the full picture.

Emotional Intelligence, recognising your own emotions and managing them effectively, motivating yourself, recognising emotions in others and handling relationships is what can make or break you. Emotional Intelligence in contrast to the highly regarded by many IQ can be cultivated and improved at any age. And it should. It’s vital and essential. It all starts from a very young age. The way your parents raise you up even since you are a toddler affects your whole life but you have the power to change it. It should be taught at school, it should be taught from a young age.

Why? Because when we finally become adults we can cope better in life. We learned how to be good, loving caring humans. We are aware when and why we are happy, upset, angry. We recognise how others behaviours affect us and how to change that, we know how to treat people truly respectfully without letting prejudices affect us. We are more resilient to social pressure and all of the social rules dictating our lives. We won’t feel the need to measure our success by comparing our lives to others, because we have the emotional intelligence to recognise that’s just emotions and feelings imposed by others.

What is success anyway? Money, fame, reaching the top of your career ladder?

No, not really. Many have done that and if you ask them years later they all say the same thing. They’d rather have spent more time doing things they love, with the people they love, making memories.

Of course it’s important to love what you do. And I respect people who love their work. But work is not everything and it shouldn’t define us. And not all of us are lucky to be doing what we love for a living.

In one of the first Derren Brown books I read, Derren whilst explaining how he memorises and recalls people’s names, mentions that when he meets people he never asks them what most would ask, what they do for a living, because some might hate their job and what they do doesn’t define who they are, but he instead asks them what they do in their spare time, what their hobbies are, what they love doing, and then associates their name with some of their favourite things. What a great way to remember people’s names!

I’ve met many ‘successful’ people in my life. Most could only talk about their job and their career, understandably because they love it but they couldn’t discuss about anything else. They rarely read any book, they rarely had time, or made time, to go on a holiday or explore another culture, they haven’t listened to music or went to the theatre for months. They couldn’t remember the last time they’ve seen a film, they had no knowledge or experience in anything else other than their work.

If that’s success, then I do not want it.

What I loved about my lunch with Charlie yesterday is that we could chat about films, life, society, Higher Education, music to travelling and life. Because we both love learning, trying new things and our life doesn’t revolve around work. What we do for a living does not define us and it shouldn’t.

What the world needs is more well-rounded people like Charlie. Well-rounded, emotionally intelligent, loving, caring humans. People who have what the Japanese called Ikigai, ‘a reason for being’.

Some of them might have reached success in the conventional sense, some might not. But it doesn’t matter.

I don’t know if anyone in years to come would even remember who I was, I don’t know if I leave a big mark on this crazy world, but we all leave our mark, big or small.

What I’ll leave for others is what I learned from my life through my blog, I’ll leave thousands of photos of delicious food and beautiful places and stories of amazing humans.

The feature image I used for this post today is an example of what I’ll leave for others. A gorgeous moment I captured whilst walking to work. I stopped walking for a second because I wanted to take in the beauty of this world. The sun coming out of the clouds, shining gloriously, brightening the beautiful park. Every time I stare at the sun I think of all my friends and family who live far away but at that moment standing there, the same sun is shining where they are. At that moment they don’t feel that far.

We are on our own time zones, literally and metaphorically but we are part of each other’s life, we are part of each other’s time line, in the most beautiful way. Because we love and care about each other. And I smile.

It’s all about the little things, it’s all about enjoying every single moment, trying new things and for me right now, doing more things I want to but I’m scared of. And everything will fall into place. Just like that.

There is no better way to end this post with a poignant quote by my favourite lady, Leslie Knope.

Namaste

Eleni

Awakenings

It’s Sunday afternoon-ish and I’m sat at Mettricks, a local cafe. On my own. Enjoying a scrummy smoothie.

I sat at a cafe on my own before, but is the first time I’ve done it in a while. And for some reason I felt nervous on my way here. I don’t really know why. But as soon as I sat down I forgot all about it. I spend a lot of time on my own lately, mostly by choice. I can’t believe a year ago I struggled to get used to living on my own and now I can’t imagine my life any other way. We humans are incredible. It always amazes me how we can adapt and change through time.

Anyway, I thought instead of writing my posts at home, I’ll start going to local, independent cafes (not chains, soz fans of Starbucks and Costa’s, they already earn HUGE money, better to support your community instead).

So today, I’m at Mettricks. I like it here. I come here often as is close to work and home. Great food and drinks, probably the best coffee in town, lovely service (just been served my smoothie by this cute waiter who thought I was knitting-I was unravelling the lead of my headphones-, little did he know I have all the knitting equipment- a birthday gift by my lovely colleagues as I always wanted to learn how to make my own hairbands- I just didn’t get around to it, although it would have been hilarious if I brought everything at the cafe and started knitting) and most of the time is not crazy busy. Although right now there are some loud Greeks sitting opposite me (Greeks and Cypriots are probably the loudest, being a Cypriot myself I can spot them from a distance), which is annoying as I can’t hear my own thoughts, but hey, that’s what headphones are for.

So… back to the theme of this post. Awakenings!

A couple of months ago I went to the Uni’s library to grab some books on CBT. I couldn’t find the ones I wanted but I was drawn to a book with the eye catching title ‘The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat’ by the famous British Neurologist Oliver Sacks. Gutted I haven’t discovered him earlier, I’d have loved to meet him if possible or at least email him, but unfortunately he died two years ago.

In the book Dr Sack describes his weirdest, most unique cases, including autistic twins who could quickly calculate what day any date in the future would be but couldn’t do simple maths, extreme cases of amnesia (the Lost Mariner was one of my favourite), music epilepsy (one lady could hear music in her head ALL the time and it turns out the song she could hear was of a childhood memory she could not remember before) and the one which inspired the title of the book. I won’t go into more detail otherwise the post will only be about this book but I’ll briefly tell you about the story behind the title.

This highly intelligent, music lover, incredible man, who mistook his wife for a hat was suffering from visual agnosia, which meant although his vision was intact, he couldn’t recognise objects or faces, and at one of his visits at the doctor’s, whilst trying to find his hat he grabbed his wife’s head by accident instead.

It’s fascinating to read and highly recommended. You’ll learn a lot about the brain and how a small brain dysfunction can severely disrupt someone’s life but also how people learn how to cope and come up with ingenious ways to learn to help them live with their illness.

I finished that book in three days and I was so impressed by Dr Sacks I bought, probably his most famous book, Awakenings (which has now adapted to theatre plays, podcasts and the infamous Awakenings movie with Robert De Niro and Robin Williams, more on the movie below).

It took me a while to finish it, as I was on holiday and I finally read the last page a week ago.

Awakenings, if you haven’t heard of it or watched the movie, is about a group of Dr Sacks’ patients at a hospital in New York who suffered from the 1920’s encephalitis lethargica epidemic. This horrible disease attacks the brain and leaves most victims speechless, motionless, trapped in their own body, never asleep but never fully awake.

Dr Sacks came across the ‘miracle’ drug L-Dopa that used to treat his patients in the hope they ‘ll come back to life. And something amazing happened. They all ‘woke up’. They could now move, talk, feed themselves. Some went on to live a relatively normal life but for a lot of them it didn’t last long.

Administering chemicals to the brain has unpredictable consequences and the majority of his patients had horrible side effects, some of which never went away.

Every single case he describes is sad, emotional and inspiring all at once.

But I haven’t only learned that any drug that affects the brain cannot be expected to behave as any other drugs. The amount of chemicals in the brain and the complex interactions between the different parts of it will never allow a simple reaction to any drug.

I learnt how amazing human interaction and affection can be and how it can really do miracles. The majority, if not all patients would react better to the drug if they felt loved and if others, their doctors and nurses, their loved ones, cared about them. How magnificent that is. Even when suffering from one of the most debilitating, complicating brain illnesses, other humans can make or break you.

When the hospital was briefly under a different direction, it became more ‘institutionalised’ and less ‘human’. During that short time, all patients’ side effects became dramatically worse.

Treatment is not just about dealing with the physical symptoms, is not just ‘mechanical’ but should take into consideration the human, emotional, psychological element, the individual, something Dr Sacks was very passionate about, and at the time was not common practice (unfortunately it still happens nowadays, we’ve all came across a doctor who would not pay too much attention to what we are saying and how an illness can affects us and will just prescribe us some drugs and that’s it).

I was impressed on how well or equally bad patients reacted to ‘waking up’. Some could not handle at all how they came back to life 30 years later, they were older and the world as they knew it ceased to exist. Others never felt bitter or regret but were grateful they were given another chance in life.

And finally what shines through the book is Dr Sacks’ love for his patients. For him they were never ‘just patients’. He deeply cared about every single one of them until he died.

As I mentioned earlier, the book has been adapted into films, podcasts and so on but the most famous adaptation was the 1990 Oscar-nominated film ‘Awakenings’.

On one of the last chapters, Dr Sacks talks about all the book adaptations at the time, especially the ones he found closest to reality.

I didn’t watch the film before finishing the book (although I might have watched it years ago but I could remember very little), and I’m glad I didn’t. As vividly described in the book, the whole movie cast visited the hospital and watched the patients to try and portray their behavior as accurately as possible. Robin Williams (one of my favourite actors of all time) who played Dr Sacks spent hours and days with him, studying his mannerisms, the way he spoke, the way he talked and Dr Sacks himself was impressed on how well he played him in the film.

Most amazingly Robert De Niro not only spent days with patients, he even visited some of Dr Sacks’ patients in the UK. He would stay in role even when they were not filming. At one occasion he would walk as if he was still Leonard (the patient he portrays in the film) with his feet twisted and he wouldn’t even realise.

If you happen to watch the movie, pay attention to all his tics, the scene were he has a major oculogyric crisis, the way he walks and talks. Based on Dr Sacks’ observations, you wouldn’t know that he was acting. That’s how a encephalitis lethargica patient behaved in real life.

Leonard was one of Dr Sacks’ favourite patients. He was extremely intelligent, loved reading (he graduated from Harvard and almost finished his PhD before his illness became too severe) and although he couldn’t speak at all he could spell on his little board. After his miracle awakening, his reaction to L-Dopa was horrendous and he asked to be taken off it. He died years later from infection, just after the drug started working for him again. How sad but what an amazing man he was.

There is a 1973 documentary with the original patients and Dr Sacks himself which I just found online and can’t wait to watch. It wasn’t easy to find. If you are interested let me know and I’ll send you a link.

The film differs to the movie as you’d expect with any film adaptation but is one of the very few if not the only book-to-film adaptation I actually liked. It’s sad, emotional and inspirational all at once, just like the book.

I’ve learned more than I’d expect from Awakenings and that’s why I love reading.

So, that’s it for today! I hope you enjoyed it.

It’s much easier to concentrate and write a post here rather than home. I think that’s my new thing. I might try Mettricks again maybe when it’s a bit quieter but any recommendations of local cafes in the city will be appreciated 🙂

Until next time… take care.

Eleni x

Happy by Derren Brown

‘We do not need to fear the world, or treat it with suspicion. Any monsters that dwell there are our own’

I just finished reading Happy- Why more or less everything is absolutely fine by Derren Brown.

And I could not recommend it highly enough.

I started composing an Instagram post but it was becoming too long so I thought I’d write about it here instead.

Most people know Derren Brown as a magician, showman, painter or even photographer but he is an incredibly intelligent, knowledgeable, modern day philosopher who writes amazingly beautifully.

I’ve read all of his books, but this is definitely my favourite.

Funny, informative, wise, beautifully written (I had to google a lot of words, you might not need to if English is your first language), emotional.

He starts with a brief history of how happiness has been defined through time, from the ancient Greeks, who if you haven’t read any of their work, I’d urge you to (I studied ancient Greek at school (which I didn’t enjoy much) but when you are a 16 year old going through the teenage years, with not many experiences in life, you cannot fully comprehend the value of it), to religion and how it changed the way humans viewed happiness (i.e that is OK to suffer in this life because you will be rewarded and be happy after you die) to today’s sheer optimism and beliefs that if you really want something it will happen- spoiler alert- it won’t.

He follows that with how to apply stoic methods in your life, how to deal with anger, hurt and fame and then with my favourite part of the whole book, ‘happy endings’ in which he discusses about a fear we all have, the fear of death, how to die well and how to live now.

There is too much in the book I can possibly share in a post but what I kept:

There are only two things you can control, your thoughts and your actions (which is not easy I know, but it’s under your control). Anything else, and I mean ANYTHING else is completely out of your control. You can set as many life goals as you want but you can only the do the best you can, that doesn’t mean you can reach them because life, fate, luck, other people are out of your control. The only realistic goal you can set is to do the best of your abilities.

On that note, you can’t control others’ behavior and actions, but you can control yours. That is SO important to realise, although is hard.

Do not compare yourself with everyone else. You haven’t had the same upbringing, life experiences, luck.

We are all scared of dying. But if you think about it, if we were immortals nothing would really matter. There will be nothing to look forward to because at some point we would have done it all, and we will eventually get bored. And there is nothing to fear about because we have been there. Before we were born, our brain and body didn’t exist, we were ‘dead’ before we came to life. That took me a while to digest!

After we die, we live through the memories of our loved ones. Because when they think of us, they think of how we thought and behaved and every time they think of us, a tiny version of us is replicated in their brain, for that moment their brain functions in a similar way our brain did. What a beautiful revelation! We really die when our name has been spoken for the last ever time. So what’s the best we can do? Do good, help others, create amazing memories and share them with your loved ones and the world.

Debra. Everything about this lovely lady truly touched me. Debra was a fan of Derren who was diagnosed with terminal cancer and kept in contact with Derren until she died. There is something special about terminally ill people who I don’t think I can understand unless it happens to me. They only do what they really want to because the little time they have left is precious and not to be wasted. They enjoy and cherish every moment. They live in the now. They have reached high levels of mindfulness and this clarity of mind that is incredibly hard to achieve.

So what is the best way to live? Although your past has taught you a lot, is in the past. You should learn to recognise how it affected and affects you but leave it in the past. It does not define you. Remember you control your thoughts so you can change the way your past is affecting you.

Find the right balance between living in the moment and the future. A year ago I used to believe that living in the moment and not make any plans for the future or even think about the future was the way forward but a couple of months before I read this book, I realised that living in the moment is still important but without having something to look forward to, without a future, it feels pointless. And after reading this book, it all makes sense.

And finally, ‘good enough’ is good enough. There is nothing wrong with living a ‘good enough’ life.

Love you all x

Eleni