inspiration – Page 2 – Lessons I learned after I turned 30

A foster carer, a former priest and other super humans: A night to remember

Thursday, 14th of June

Hannah picked me up from home. We are heading to BySea cafe in Portswood. The next live storytelling event is about to start in a couple of hours and I’m a tiny bit nervous. But I can’t wait. Exhilarated.

I keep hearing this in my head. Somewhere in the desert there’s a forest…And an acre before us…

Today is going to be a special one, I can feel it. As soon as I’ve read about the speakers.

Hannah and I went early to set up. It was all done in less than half an hour, we even had time for a cup of tea and an enormous slice of cake. The portions at Bysea are huge.

I’m a little nervous because Debs asked me to host tonight’s event, talk at the start, introduce the speakers and bring it all to an end after the last speaker.

I love chatting but I never spoke in front of an audience before. I guess I did if you count the short speech at the last year of primary school, when I was 12 (which my cousin wrote for me, she was 18 at the time and was just about to study pedagogy to become a prime school teacher, she always wrote beautifully) and about 3 years ago the eulogy at my aunt’s funeral which again my cousin wrote, but this time it was for her mum and I was reading it on her behalf. Hardest thing I had to do in my life ever. To the day.

But I never ever spoke in English in front of an audience.

I don’t get too stressed nowadays, not any more but I was still a bit anxious. And also excited.

What’s the worst it could happen?

Just before 8pm.

The place is buzzing. Debs and Hannah were worried not many people will show up, there were a couple of other events on the same night, but the place is full.

Time to go up!

I don’t want to look at my notes much so I look around, at our guests, into their eyes.

God everyone is staring at me! Why?

You are talking to them you silly. You are the centre of the attention. They are supposed to look at and listen to you.

I panicked for a second and I forgot a couple of things I needed to say, it’s OK you can mention them late, so I went ahead and introduced our first speakers.

Jon and Chris.

(I struggled to find the right words that can capture the beauty of their story. I hope I did it justice).

A sweet couple, Jon and Chris came up on stage, and read out loud their story in turns. The story of their beloved daughter Katie. From the little I learned about her through her parents, she must have been an amazing human being. Despite all the tough ‘challenges’ (I hate this word, it cannot capture the pain, the torture, physical, emotional and mental that one can experience) life through at her, disability, cancer, she was determined to live life to the full.

She lived on her own, she drove, she studied at University and although when she was first diagnosed with cancer she was given a few years to live, she lived 17 more years. She proved them wrong!

She was incredibly strong, brave and considerate until the very end. The night before she died she listened to her friend talking about her everyday problems and worries, although she was in terrible pain herself. That’s the kind of person she was.

Jon and Chris went on to talk about how they are dealing with their grief, after Katie passed away 18 months ago and how their faith helped them. A friend once told Jon how grief is like a circle, the circle is all about the loved one you lost and at the start, you are in the centre of the circle, you cannot see past the sadness and the chaos. But as time goes by, you get out of the circle and it gets smaller, you can see beyond it, but it’s always there. You learn how to live with it. (I hope I remember it correctly, I got emotional at this point, it reminded me of my aunt, her death and how each of us are coping with it, in different ways, two and a half years later).

They took up new hobbies, e.g. Jon went on a cooking training class so she can teach others how to cook and they still do things Katie liked, not to reminisce and feel sad, but because they enjoy them too.

By the time they were done, I was already in tears. But it was time to get up and introduce the next speaker. I was so emotional I forgot to thank them publicly, on the mic, after I’ve given them their ‘I shared my story’ badges. What an idiot!

Dominic

Next up it was Dominic. He started off with a poem (he had the smoothest, most beautiful voice, I hope he seriously considers my suggestion of him start doing podcasts)…

Breathing under water

I built my house by the sea.

Not on the sands, mind you;
not on the shifting sand.
And I built it of rock.

A strong house
by a strong sea.
And we got well acquainted, the sea and I.
Good neighbors.
Not that we spoke much.
We met in silences.
Respectful, keeping our distance,
but looking our thoughts across the fence of sand.
Always, the fence of sand our barrier,
always, the sand between.

And then one day,
-and I still don’t know how it happened –
the sea came.
Without warning.

Without welcome, even
Not sudden and swift, but a shifting across the sand like wine,
less like the flow of water than the flow of blood.
Slow, but coming.
Slow, but flowing like an open wound.
And I thought of flight and I thought of drowning and I thought of death.
And while I thought the sea crept higher, till it reached my door.
And I knew, then, there was neither flight, nor death, nor drowning.
That when the sea comes calling, you stop being neighbors,
Well acquainted, friendly-at-a-distance neighbors,
And you give your house for a coral castle,
And you learn to breathe underwater.

Sr. Carol Bieleck, RSCJ
from an unpublished work

Dominic’s life was full of ups and downs, a friend used to call him Forrest Gump. And by the end of his talk I understood why.

The strict, often cruel teachers at the boarding school he went to, put him down, repeatedly told him he ‘won’t amount to much’.

Later in life he discovered he’d like to become a priest. It wasn’t an easy ride, he couldn’t even afford to buy the essentials on the list he was given, and he’d often borrow from the church in Portswood.

Five years after he became a priest, he suddenly, fell in love. He gave up priesthood to marry the love of his life.

After that he dealt with redundancy ‘One day I was a chief operative for a charity, the next day I was down at the job centre’ and other hurdles that came his way over the years.

His message: Life is unpredictable, you never know what the next day will bring you, but life is also beautiful, and when you learn to breath underwater, to face everything without drowning or giving up, you build a deepest, most meaningful appreciation for life.

Sam

The third speaker, Sam lost his dad to cancer about two years ago.

He found it hard to process his grief, until he discovered open water swimming. ‘Those fifteen minutes when swimming becomes automatic and you don’t have to think about moving your arms or your legs, those fifteen minutes of clarity of mind’.

When I heard this my mind went straight to meditation and how I feel when I do my yoga.

And just after I thought of that, surprisingly, Sam said ‘my friends told me when I described it to them, that’s similar to meditation’.

I kept thinking what was the one thing that helped me the most to overcome my grief three years ago. Writing. That’s what helped me. This blog.

Sam started a website since, Sporting Heads, where he shares stories, similar to his of mental health benefits of sports and exercise.

Jenny (ft Annie)

The last speaker Jenny (with the help of her dear friend Annie who interviewed her) is a foster carer. She fostered 52 children in 13 years!!

Jen shared incredible anecdotes of her life as a foster carer. What came across strongly was Jen’s unconditional love and care for the children, despite everything that comes with fostering a child.

A little girl she fostered used to defecate every time someone compliment her. Every time someone said ‘Isn’t she lovely?’. She is now doing much better, thanks to Jen.

This is just one of the many stories she shared with us.

Jen wouldn’t be able to do what she does without her support network, her friends, her family, her husband and ten children, and the community.

It’s not always easy, actually it’s not easy full stop. Most children come from troubled families, some they’ve been neglected others have been abused, they often struggle emotionally and physically, but with Jen’s love, care and patience, they grow stronger.

Annie read as a letter from one of Jenny’s foster children. It was impossible not to tear up.

I could sit and listen to these two ladies all night.

What a great way to end this wonderful evening.

At the end I got the chance to chat to some of these wonderful humans.

I asked Dominic about the poem he recited and told me how he came across it. He read it in a friend’s book, an American priest and was actually written by a nun. He gave me a copy to take home. What a sweet man.

I had a great chat with Annie, who I found out earlier amongst a million other things she does, she runs Communicare, a Southampton mental health charity tackling loneliness and isolation, which I recently signed up as a volunteer. Superwoman!

I went home feeling inspired, touched, blessed, happy, honoured I got to introduce and hear the stories of these amazing people.

If you have a story to share, get in touch. Everyone has a story. We all have a story. And that’s what Touch is all about, share our stories, learn from each other, touch each other’s lives.

And if you get the chance, come along to one of the events. Intimate, inspirational, so beautifully simple, humanity at it’s best.

Namaste

Eleni

On board PnO’s Ventura

I’m on a ship, having lunch, wine and a laugh with Liam, Jordan, Richard, Tansy, David and Cat.

How blessed am I? How did this even happen?

Last August I saw a post on Facebook urgently asking for last minute volunteers for Southampton Pride. Some of my favourite humans and officially the best hugger was going to be there, my dear Jaba, Mr Dixon, my brother Andi and others I didn’t expect. So I emailed the lovely Danny and I ended up having one of my best days of 2017.

Fast forward to last December, Cunard, one of the Pride’s sponsors offered free lunch for all volunteers on one of their beautiful ships but due to bad weather it was postponed.

A couple of weeks ago Danny messaged. The free lunch was to take place on Saturday, 21st of April. Who could say no to free lunch, on board one of PnO’s largest and newest cruiseships with lovely people?

I almost didn’t go. I had a crazy busy week and hadn’t slept enough in days. I was exhausted. But I knew I’d regret it if I missed it. Sometimes I just know. I have a gut feeling. I wish I listened to it more often.

But I got up around 9am, way too early for me on a Saturday, got ready and made it to Ocean Terminal on time.

I didn’t know anyone else there, although that didn’t phase me, I love people. But I didn’t know what to expect.

I surely didn’t expect a three course meal in a posh restaurant, with our own table waiter refilling our wine glasses. The food was lovely and the wine, delicious. I’ve recently became a big red wine aficionado and the red that came with our meal was divine.

The meal started with asparagus and devilled egg mayonnaise followed by baked rump of lamb and ended with dark chocolate mousse cake with praline surprise and coffee.

dark chocolate mousse cake with praline surprise

I also did not expect to meet so many incredible, fun, amazing humans. Richard’s laugh and all the smiley faces sum up the day beautifully.

After our scrumptious meal and a tiny bit giggly because of the wine, lovely Tom gave us a tour of the ship. We’ve walked through the main restaurants, the spa (my favourite part), the deck, the shops and our last stop was the art gallery.

Thank you to Danny, Tom, Cunard, PnO, everyone who put together this lovely day for us. I can’t wait for the next one.

And I can’t wait to volunteer for the next Southampton Pride in August. More volunteers are always needed, so if you fancy spending an awesome day helping out to run a beautiful, colourful, fun event, full of laughter and love, head on their website. This year it will be bigger than ever!

Namaste

Eleni

The sweet smell of memories

I put the bread in the toaster, put the saucepan on the hob and whilst stirring I was instantly distracted… thinking of the day I had, the great people I met, friends I’m seeing this week after a long time, worrying about things, how fast time goes, life and then suddenly, the smell of the forgotten, almost burnt toast…

And just like that I was back, back in my great grandma Annou’s home. I must have been around 6 or 7 years old, I had just started school and I loved it. I loved my teacher, who had the same name as me, Mrs Eleni Iakovou, my uniform, my new friends, I loved learning, I loved everything about it. But what I loved most was my afternoons with my favourite cousins Georgia and Andreas and my dear dear grandma Stella who never hid the fact that I was her favourite grandchild.

Every day, before going to giagia Stella we’d pop to giagia Annou first who permanently lived on the first floor of her house. She was, in her nineties, too old for those old creaking stairs to be going up and down, so she stayed in this big room, full of her favourite things. She had a little old toaster right next to her and what I remember most of her was offering us toast every time we went to see her. And the toast, almost always slightly burnt, but not quite. That’s how I like my toast to the day.

My mind then wandered to my grandma Stella. I spent most of my time with her until she died when I was 9. I remember her making me chunky, delicious, greasy fries when I didn’t want to have the healthier lunch my parents prepared for me.

I remember the smell of roses. The smell of the rose water she often asked me to sprinkle her hair and face with on those hot, summer days, back when air conditioning was not common in every house. I remember how I loved to smell my hands afterwards, the delicious, sweet smell of roses, that I love so much I can’t use any other smell for my perfume, because it will always remind me my time with my grandma.

I only have an old, half-ruined from a flood picture of us together, still in my school uniform, happily, proudly kneeling next to her, smiling.

I smiled. And then I cried. I cried tears of nostalgia but also joy, gratefulness, love.

Blessed I was so dearly, unconditionally loved by my great grandma, my grandma, my cousins. Blessed I had an amazingly, crazy childhood full of smells, food, love, adventures, bruised knees, dirty clothes from playing outside, people, beautiful, pure, kind-hearted people.

I finished dinner and sat on my guitar for hours. Playing the same song, again and again.

Let these fools be loud, let alarms ring out, ’cause you cut through all the noise…Bring me some hope, by wandering into my mind, something to hold on to, morning, noon, day or night. You are the light that is blinding me, you’re the anchor that I tie to my brain, ’cause when it feels, like I’m lost at sea, you’re the song I sing again and again, all the time, all the time, I think of you all the time…

And that’s how I put all the worrying, stressful, painful thoughts aside for a night.

Whatever the future holds for me, I’ll always have the memories and I’ll always have my loved ones, the light blinding me, the anchor that I tie to my brain.

Namaste

Eleni

You are very much on time

Today I’m not reflecting back on last week.

I weirdly can’t remember much of it. It’s all a blur. I remember walking home after my hairdresser’s appointment on Monday evening, only to find out the next day that a girl was raped at the very same park I walked through, roughly at the same time I passed by.

I didn’t hear a thing. It was only 6:30pm in the evening. It shouldn’t be dangerous walking through a park with so many people around early in the evening.

I no longer walk through the park at night, most days. Some days I’m angry that women in this day and age are advised not to walk through a park in the afternoon, just to be on the safe side, so I walk through it and I’m ready to fight whoever tries to even touch me.

I remember Mike’s birthday lunch and the fire at Waterstone’s whilst we were at Turtle Bay. How sad to see all the books, all the beautiful books with amazing stories on their pages, all the philosophy, science, literature, fiction books that open up our minds and teach us valuable lessons burnt.

And I remember having delicious pies for lunch on Thursday. This is it. The rest is nonsensical in my brain.

What I vividly remember is waking up one day during the week in tears. I was terrified, panicking. Panicking this year is going so fast, too fast. I cannot believe it’s already March.

I went through a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts. I’ve been contemplating about life a lot this week.

‘Am I good enough?’

‘What should I do next?’

‘What do I really want to do next?’

‘What if I die right now?’

‘What have I achieved in my life so far?’

‘I am running out of time. I’m almost 32, what should I do?’

Excruciatingly painful questions with no simple answers.

And then I remembered. I remembered a video my lovely Lou sent me.

A simple, minute and a half long video going through examples on how people achieve different things at different times. One might have become a CEO when they were 22 and then died a year later whereas someone else became a CEO when they were 50 and lived until their 90. Just an example to show that we all work on our own time zones, some might seem ahead and some might seem behind you, we shouldn’t mock them or envy them. Because we are all running our own race, in our own time, our own time zone.

So simple, yet so powerful. I’m in my own time zone, as you are in yours.

It’s incredibly tough to not compare yourself to others. Society norms dictate and often measure your success on others. But that’s not the case.

I recently finished reading one of the best books I’ve ever read and I would recommend it to anyone and everyone, Emotional Intelligence, why it can matter more than IQ by Daniel Goleman.

I’ve learned a lot from this one book, from the neuroscience behind it to what Emotional Intelligence is to how developing it can benefit yourself, others, the society, the world, but I won’t go into much detail, one must read it to get the full picture.

Emotional Intelligence, recognising your own emotions and managing them effectively, motivating yourself, recognising emotions in others and handling relationships is what can make or break you. Emotional Intelligence in contrast to the highly regarded by many IQ can be cultivated and improved at any age. And it should. It’s vital and essential. It all starts from a very young age. The way your parents raise you up even since you are a toddler affects your whole life but you have the power to change it. It should be taught at school, it should be taught from a young age.

Why? Because when we finally become adults we can cope better in life. We learned how to be good, loving caring humans. We are aware when and why we are happy, upset, angry. We recognise how others behaviours affect us and how to change that, we know how to treat people truly respectfully without letting prejudices affect us. We are more resilient to social pressure and all of the social rules dictating our lives. We won’t feel the need to measure our success by comparing our lives to others, because we have the emotional intelligence to recognise that’s just emotions and feelings imposed by others.

What is success anyway? Money, fame, reaching the top of your career ladder?

No, not really. Many have done that and if you ask them years later they all say the same thing. They’d rather have spent more time doing things they love, with the people they love, making memories.

Of course it’s important to love what you do. And I respect people who love their work. But work is not everything and it shouldn’t define us. And not all of us are lucky to be doing what we love for a living.

In one of the first Derren Brown books I read, Derren whilst explaining how he memorises and recalls people’s names, mentions that when he meets people he never asks them what most would ask, what they do for a living, because some might hate their job and what they do doesn’t define who they are, but he instead asks them what they do in their spare time, what their hobbies are, what they love doing, and then associates their name with some of their favourite things. What a great way to remember people’s names!

I’ve met many ‘successful’ people in my life. Most could only talk about their job and their career, understandably because they love it but they couldn’t discuss about anything else. They rarely read any book, they rarely had time, or made time, to go on a holiday or explore another culture, they haven’t listened to music or went to the theatre for months. They couldn’t remember the last time they’ve seen a film, they had no knowledge or experience in anything else other than their work.

If that’s success, then I do not want it.

What I loved about my lunch with Charlie yesterday is that we could chat about films, life, society, Higher Education, music to travelling and life. Because we both love learning, trying new things and our life doesn’t revolve around work. What we do for a living does not define us and it shouldn’t.

What the world needs is more well-rounded people like Charlie. Well-rounded, emotionally intelligent, loving, caring humans. People who have what the Japanese called Ikigai, ‘a reason for being’.

Some of them might have reached success in the conventional sense, some might not. But it doesn’t matter.

I don’t know if anyone in years to come would even remember who I was, I don’t know if I leave a big mark on this crazy world, but we all leave our mark, big or small.

What I’ll leave for others is what I learned from my life through my blog, I’ll leave thousands of photos of delicious food and beautiful places and stories of amazing humans.

The feature image I used for this post today is an example of what I’ll leave for others. A gorgeous moment I captured whilst walking to work. I stopped walking for a second because I wanted to take in the beauty of this world. The sun coming out of the clouds, shining gloriously, brightening the beautiful park. Every time I stare at the sun I think of all my friends and family who live far away but at that moment standing there, the same sun is shining where they are. At that moment they don’t feel that far.

We are on our own time zones, literally and metaphorically but we are part of each other’s life, we are part of each other’s time line, in the most beautiful way. Because we love and care about each other. And I smile.

It’s all about the little things, it’s all about enjoying every single moment, trying new things and for me right now, doing more things I want to but I’m scared of. And everything will fall into place. Just like that.

There is no better way to end this post with a poignant quote by my favourite lady, Leslie Knope.

Namaste

Eleni

Wild Mushroom Ravioli, Gyro, Snowmageddon and being brave

Sunday early afternoon…

I’m sitting at one of my favourite little cafes in Southampton, The Docks Coffee house with a hot cup of Americano and a delish fruit loaf served in cute, vintage cutlery.

I enjoy writing in random places, other than home but I don’t get much free time to do it. Last time it was way back in July, when I ventured to Mettricks on a warm, summery Sunday afternoon to write about Awakenings, one of the most interesting books I’ve ever read.

Back then I was terrified to go sit at a cafe on my own, I was still struggling with depression and I found it a little bit overwhelming, maybe because it was busy and loud, normal, everyday situations that could cause a panic attack when you are dealing with depression and anxiety.

But today I feel better than ever, I love sitting on this cosy comfy armchair writing and people watching.

Sunday blogs…

I don’t normally post on specific days, it all depends when I get the time and if I feel like it, but over the last couple of weeks I love reflecting back on each week, especially since the last month or so has been really busy I don’t get time to stop, wait a minute (terrible UpTown funk pun) and think of what happened every day. I try to break habits because I hate routine but I grew to love my Sunday posts and I hope to keep up with it.

Last week of February

On Sunday, after posting my last blog on Life, Death and Everything Between I made a delicious, healthy dinner to help me kick off the week on the right foot. Et voila (my new obsession: Courgette spaghetti).

Monday, not fun day

But the next morning I was just not feeling it. I felt drained emotionally and physically. Sad news and tiredness took its toll. One of those Mondays as I phrased it on the day

My momma Donna was already on the case, she knew how to cheer me up. She got me a cute little Happinness Journal so I can write what made me smile every day and remind myself to enjoy the little things and that life it’s still beautiful no matter what. Thank you Donna.

Tuesday- the first Snow

Tuesday was so busy I didn’t get to have my first cup of coffee until 10:30am, I was late for singing and the whole day felt like a blur. One of the very few things I remember was all the hugs, from Dan, Helen, Emma and other lovely humans and the snow blizzard which unfortunately only lasted for 10 minutes (who would have thought the University would be closed a few days later due to snowstorm). In the evening some colleagues (I loved all the food convos with Denise, Fraser and Chris, I had to mention it) and I went for a drink to say goodbye to our lovely colleague Peter who left Solent to go travelling. I love our kitchen chats, talking about travelling and photography. Peter if you are reading this, I hope you have an amazing time in Cape Verde and see you soon!

Wednesday- Glorious food and glorious show

Wednesday was a long long, busy day again but it turned into the most amazing evening I had in a while, A finger-licking three course meal at Soleto (including the most delicious Wild Mushroom Ravioli I’ve ever tasted, no exaggeration) a gorgeous little Italian opposite the Mayflower followed by Miss Saigon, one of the best shows I’ve seen at the Mayflower so far. More on that including lots of snaps here. (But here’s the dinner we had).

Baked Camembert with Garlic and Rosemary. Toasted Ciabatta and Chilli and Onion Chutney

Thursday- Snow is falling… and some Gyros

On Thursday, Snowmageddon struck. I woke up to a white blanket covering everything. But our lunch plans with Jamie were to go ahead. We’ve been meaning to go for lunch for a long time and we were to try the Greek restaurant Lemoni, we wouldn’t let the snow ruin our plans.

I missed Greek food and I was seriously craving it for a while so I enjoyed my Gyro in Cypriot pitta to the point I’ve actually finished it. I rarely manage to but the cold and my cravings had something to do with it… We also shared a scrummy feta baked in Filo pastry sprinkled with honey and sesame seeds, Jamie loved it so much he wants to learn how to make it.

After lunch we were told we could go home. I could not believe it! I’ve been to Southampton for almost 8 years now, we were never sent home because of snow. It felt I was living somewhere in Siberia. It took me 20 minutes to walk back home because of inappropriate footwear, it’s a miracle how I didn’t fall on my face, but I weirdly enjoyed it. It felt like being in a fairytale.

I spent the rest of my afternoon catching up with my friends back home and I loved every minute.

What I didn’t expect was:

Friday Snowday… and being brave

Yes, the University was closed! So it was not safe to walk outside, it was freezing and I was to spend the day at home. Under other circumstances I wouldn’t mind at all. But because I couldn’t go out, I got cabin fever by the end of the day. The mind works in mysterious ways always wanting what it can’t have and undervaluing what it already has…

So what to do? I facetimed my little sis, I booked my ticket home in May (yeay) and then inspired by Donna’s gift I booked ticket and a gorgeous AirBnb in Bordeaux, MY FIRST EVER SOLO TRIP (double yeay!). I’m incredibly excited and a little scared but I cannot wait!

What I learned the last couple of weeks is that life is too short and I want to do more of the things I really want to but I’m scared of. And going on my first trip alone is the first step.

Saturday- Finally out

On Saturday I got up early for a change. I was desperate to get out of the house so I woke up at 9, did all the boring chores one must do to remain a semi-responsible adult and got out! I did my essentials shopping and I finally ordered new glasses, wait until you see ‘Smart looking Eleni’ with my fancy new reading glasses.

In the evening I did what I’ve been doing when I get some free time, binge watching Parks and Recreation, one of the best, funniest shows I’ve ever watched. Thank you to Jamie for recommending it and Sarah and Pat for all the fun we have talking about it.

Looking back, it’s been an incredible week.

Here’s to March, it’s looking good already…

Namaste

Eleni

PS. Happy birthday CHRIS!!!! Thank you for being an incredible friend and all round good egg x

A week of Arts, Lights, Fireworks, Magic and Harsh Reality

A week ago on my Insta stories I was wishing all a great week and actually said out loud “Whatever happens, even if it’s a bad week, we are humans, we got this, we can do it”.

Some weeks as a dear friend said, the best thing you can do is just survive and that was one of those weeks.

It wasn’t all bad, but the horrible news of my friend’s dad passing away just before her 30th and the effect of it on me cast a shadow of sadness to the rest of the week.

The highlights

Pancakes!

I celebrated one of my favourite non Christian orthodox religious days, Shrove Tuesday or as most famously known Pancake day with my new favourite ladies, Charlie and Di and Charlie’s lovely friends who I got to meet on the day. Delicious Nutella pancakes, interesting conversations and lots of laughter, a great great evening. Thank you Charlie for the invite!

Meeting the cadets

On Wednesday morning I found out about my friend’s dad’s death, more on that later, and I was emotional throughout the whole day. I spend every Wednesday with the Student Achievement team, the highlight of my work week and they distracted me from my sorrow for most of the day. At lunchtime little Miss Sunshine, Miss Holiday, my lovely Linda invited me to join her on a campaign raising awareness and supporting students with a little quiz and snacks, at the Warsash Campus in St Marys, the home of our cadet students.

It’s a whole different world down there and I loved every minute of it. What took me by surprise was the maturity of the students, compared to any other students I’ve met. They have to learn to be responsible from a very young age and most of them spend time at sea, often in dangerous areas like Somalia by the time they are 19, they are forced to grow up fast. I wish I was that mature when I was their age.

Some of the conversations I had with these 20 year olds were more mature, deeper and more meaningful than ones I had with 35 year olds. I can’t wait for my next visit.

Happy Girls Are The Prettiest

In our effort to bring back the magic back on Valentine’s day, we decided to set a love box in our department and send each other kind messages anonymously, as it used to happen back in the day. Thank you to whoever sent me the sweet message below. It was just what I needed on Wednesday. Our work may not be exciting sometimes, so a little bit of fun is necessary to keep us going. I may not be happy all the time, but I promise you, we’ll always have a laugh, even at the toughest of times, and you can always always rely on me.

Let there be light

On Thursday I finally made it to the Festival of Light at Westquay and the lovely Chloe and Taylor joined me. I’ve been meaning to visit from the moment I first heard about it, it sounded magical, like a fairy tale, and it really was. No need to say more, just look!

The Stand Together exhibition

On Friday lunchtime, I popped to the Solent Showcase Gallery in the hope to catch the dancers rehearsing a dance portraying Brexit, something that really affected me especially on the day of the referendum and I really wanted to see how they channelled this through dancing but unfortunately they were on their lunch break. Instead I had a wander around the rest of the Stand Together exhibition and I had the pleasure to meet the artist himself Kev Munday.

Kev is a Solent graduate and now a famous artist! I was shocked when the first thing he told me was that he recognised me because he just drew me!

I saw an ad on Portal, our internal Solent page a while ago, asking for a selfie and a little blurb about me, so I sent a photo of me and a short message on me living in Southampton for 8 years now and how it’s not always easy living on my own in another country, but I wouldn’t change it. I thought I was too late sending my photo in, but it seems not!

I didn’t want to disturb him but he kindly let me film him whilst drawing and had a chat about his inspiration behind the exhibition.

Fireworks!

After work I was meeting Charlie and Di for a drink and then off to watch the opening of the brand new Arts Complex (The New Nuffield Theatre, City Eye and the John Hansard Gallery) in the heart of the city!

On my way there I was unexpectedly joined by Chris and Helen, what a lovely surprise. I love it when my old friends meet my new friends and get along and have a laugh from the first moment. That’s something we often do back home but rarely happens here.

After a couple of drinks it was time! After a beautiful, fun and sweet dance performance, fireworks went off from the roof of the new Nuffield Theatre. I can’t tell you how excited I am there is now a new theatre, gallery and studio, just opposite work, in the heart of Southampton. I can’t wait to check them all out and indulge myself in more art and culture. I may be going to my first ever event there tomorrow. Excited much!

My little duckling’s birthday

On Saturday my little sister, my mini-me turned 20 years old and we spent most of the night before and the day face-timing. I am incredibly proud of the amazing, ridiculously talented, humble and caring human being she turned out to be. For me it will always be my little one. It’s hard living abroad but it’s even harder when I can’t be there for special family moments like this one. I love you to the moon and back.

Chinese New Year celebrations

On Sunday, co-incidentally after posting about my recent visit to Shanghai 1814 restaurant I heard drums noise coming from the same very restaurant on my way into town, I walked in and for the first time witnessed Chinese New Year celebrations. Whilst the drums went on, a dragon danced across the restaurant and then welcomed by a man with a traditional Chinese face mask on who offered it clementines and lettuce. The dragon then threw the fruits and the lettuce (after shredding it) in the crowd whilst confetti flew around. On my way to the bookshop there were more celebrations at West Quay with children and students singing Chinese songs.

The harsh reality

On Tuesday night, whilst I was at Charlie’s I got a message from my friend’s other half. I didn’t read it until the following day, in the morning.

As you may know by now, that’s when I found out one of my favourite friend’s (who her birthday was on that day) dad died earlier in the week.

I burst into tears and I cried most of the day. I felt incredibly sad for my friend but I also for the first time I empathised with someone to a point I could feel her pain in every cell of my body and mind. As if it was my dad who died. The fact that she is an expat like myself and her family lives back home, like mine, made it extremely easy for me to put myself in her place.

The first thing I did was to message my friend and then Sheba. I cried. She messaged back crying. We are always in sync.

As soon as I walked to work I told Donna so she knew why I was upset and then went to meet the Student Achievement Team. Thank you Lou for the warm hug and Sarah, Lee and Ashley for all the laughs.

I’m still sad about my friend but I’m OK. It was a harsh reminder that life is too damn short and being sad, angry and dwelling on things it’s a complete waste of time.

It’s funny isn’t it? Every time death hits close to home we get upset and devastated, we remember how vulnerable we are, that we are mortals and then after a while we completely forget. I’ll try my best not to forget this time.

After two weeks with ups and downs, laughter, fireworks, lights, eating out, drinks, meeting incredible people, old friends, new friends but also sadness, disappointment, anger and frustration, I need some me-time to find my feet again and get out there.

Namaste

Eleni

A wonderful afternoon at Below Bar Studios

Yesterday I had one of the most interesting, fun afternoons in a long long time.

My lovely Louise took me down to Below Bar, the home of our School of Art and Design Studios to meet two of the course leaders who set up amazing work and social spaces for their students.

I absolutely loved it. A day later and I’m still buzzing.

It’s a whole different world down there and God I wished I was part of it.

First stop: The BA (Hons) Fine Art Studios. The lovely, sweet course leader Atsuhide gave as a little tour. Bright, big, colourful, vibrant rooms, the sun shining through the large windows, students working on their art, unique, beautiful artwork displayed everywhere, I was speechless and that says a lot!

Next stop the BA (Hons) Graphic Design base room. A social and work space for students. I didn’t know where to look first. What a truly beautiful, creative room. Great big tables decorated with students’ artwork, impressive constructions, table-tennis and Foosball tables, luxurious leather sofas and cosy, little hubs surrounded by wood frames made by the hands of one of the most interesting people I met in a long time, the course leader and Head of Subject Nick Long.

Nick is not only an incredibly talented and intelligent man who could even spell my name first time we ever met, I was seriously impressed, but he is the best story teller I met in real life and you know me, I love a good story.

We soon went off topic, always a sign of a good conversation, and ended up chatting about many different things including the old Southampton Arts School, which was next to the beach (yes, Southampton used to have a beach) back in 1850s and it looked like a scene from Pride And Prejudice, an impressive, imposing building surrounded by pine and cypress trees. Spa rooms were situated on the ground floor and the Arts School was on the first floor with his own private entrance. It was unfortunately knocked down in 1950s. Nick has done his research and got hold of photos and drawings he scrolled through whilst telling us all about it.

It instantly sparked my imagination and I was transferred to the 1850s, picturing people relaxing at the spa rooms whilst upstairs art students handcrafted surreal sculptures and colourful paintings.

I could listen to Nick talk all day. His voice, his accent, his lively, enthusiastic, natural story-telling, narrating style are truly captivating.

During our conversation I got the chance to meet Chris Bigg, another amazingly talented and sweet man who until I came home and googled him, I didn’t realise he has worked for some of the most famous record labels and artists as a graphic designer.

I don’t get starstruck and being famous doesn’t mean anything to me. But talent and creativity together with honesty, kindness and wicked sense of humour instantly makes me fall in love with humans on a spiritual level. It reminds me that there are some amazing people out there and I really needed that reminder lately.

Thank you Lou for an amazing afternoon. I fell in love with the place and the people.

I can’t wait to visit again. Today I feel truly blessed.

Namaste

Eleni

Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen

Three weeks ago on this day…

Shebz was packing her last things before she were to leave for home the following day and then travel the world.

She came over, sat next to me and gave me a gift bundle, a ‘care package’. She did the same a year ago just before she left for her three month Asia adventure.

But this time I was given instructions. I could open one of the gifts there and then but for the rest I should open them throughout January.

After she left, I decided I’d open one every Sunday until the end of January. I thought it would be a nice surprise at the end of every week (of course I’d never expected January to be full of many other surprises).

Don’t get me wrong I love surprises more than anyone else, but maybe there were one too many I could handle… and anxiety kicked in…

After almost three weeks of living with someone else, I miss my own little home more than ever. A post coming soon on this.

But weirdly, Sheba’s gifts reminded me without a failure every week, why I’m doing this.

The first present she wanted me to open when we were together on her last night in Southampton was a vintage painting of Florence (Firenze). From the first moment my sisters and I stepped into this small, gorgeous city last September, we instantly fell in love and it’s one of the places I’d love to go back one day. My girl knows me too well!

It reminded me of one of the most amazing feelings in the world, falling in love with places, the magic of travelling. And it’s something I want to do more after I repay my loan and land my dream job.

The first gift I opened a week later, on the first Sunday I moved in my new place and I felt lost and out of place, was a little helping hand to start saving for more adventures. Already on it!

The following Sunday, after a long, busy week and weekend catching up with friends, I was finally at home, time for some me-time. Although it’s not the same anymore. I really felt I lost my focus. The next gift couldn’t be more appropriate. The Little Book of Ikigai, the Essential Japanese Way To Find Your Purpose in Life. I cannot wait to read it.

The final gift I opened last Sunday. And I cried. Why would someone cry over a notebook?

Shebz and I love notebooks, we spent many of our lunch breaks in Paperchase browsing notebooks. It’s one of our things. One of our favourite little activities we love doing together. And God she picked the perfect one.

Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

This is my mantra for February.

My old soul destroying habit of overthinking came back stronger than ever this week and I haven’t had a good night’s sleep for days but I’m back on track, with a little help from my bestie and my family and loved ones.

So here’s to February! May be full of love, surprises and amazing adventures.

Namaste

Eleni

The world’s best pastry chef, anyvan.com and other things I recently discovered.

The World’s best Pastry chef

I annoyingly left the book I’ve been desperately trying to finish (and still do) in my luggage up in the overhead locker. I had just boarded the 4 and a half hour flight back to the UK after spending the Christmas holidays at home. I was tired, emotional and I just settled at my seat. The last thing I wanted to do was disturb the lovely couple sitting next to me (who kindly offered me the window seat so they could sit next to each other).

So after a nap and in a desperate effort to blank out the non-stop crying noise from the toddler at the seats behind me, I put my favourite music on and grabbed the latest Traveller, Easyjet’s inflight magazine.

I love their magazine, it’s always full of interesting, exciting stories and one of the main features in the January issue was a piece on the World’s best Pastry Chef for 2017, Cedric Grolet. I instantly fell in love with his creations and his incredible talent. I follow him on Instagram since and is one of my favourite feeds at the moment. The man is an artist. What else can you call an apple tart resembling a perfectly formed apple? Afternoon tea at Le Meurice hotel’s restaurant, Le Dali in Paris where one can taste Cedric’s art at a reasonable price is now on my bucket list.

Anyvan.com

After Shebz left for her Central America adventure I had a week to pack until I were to move to my now new home and this time I was not going to even attempt the move all by myself. I was prepared to pay as much as necessary to avoid last year’s disaster. I had a quick look on Gumtree, there were a lot of local removal companies but I didn’t have the time or energy to call and ask for a quote, compare and decide, so after a quick Google search I came across anyvan.com.

I did everything online, from getting a quote to final payment, their agents were extremely helpful, the price was reasonable and it all went smoothly. The day before my move, my driver Josh called me to confirm time and location and himself and his sister who was his assistant on the day were lovely and even offered to give me a lift in their van so I didn’t have to get a taxi to the new place. I can’t recommend them enough!

Argos next day delivery

Last Saturday, a day after I moved in, there were only three boxes left to unpack. All the clothes that needed hanging. I could not handle the sighting, boxes sitting there, clothes trapped in them, and settling down as soon as possible was my number one priority, so I went on Amazon and Google to try and get a cheap wardrobe delivered for Sunday. Since Amazon Prime couldn’t deliver until Monday I ended up on the Argos page, I haven’t bought anything from Argos for years, I didn’t even know they offered next day delivery. I’ve ordered my white fabric portable wardrobe to match the white theme of my bedroom and a bathroom bin on Saturday afternoon and it was delivered to me the following day on a designated time slot of my choice. Impressed!

Instagram favourite

About a week ago, whilst browsing through the discover section on Instagram, one of my favourite things to do, I found this gorgeous snap by the extremely talented Turkish Photographer and travel writer below.

It’s not an exotic beach or a hot travel destination. But it’s simple and powerful. That’s exactly what I want to experience and discover on my next travel adventure. Every day people living in an old house in the middle of the mountains having a chat. Check onderkoca’s feed for more, totally worth it.

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A post shared by Önder Koca (@onderkoca)

That’s all from me on this crispy cold Friday evening. If you’d like to share any interesting things you discovered recently, share below 🙂

Have a lovely weekend everyone!

Eleni