blog – Page 2 – Lessons I learned after I turned 30

Mental Health Mondays – 4. Living with anxiety

I often wake up with a rock in my stomach. A solid, heavy rock. Sometimes it feels that it’s spinning, other times it’s pulling me down. Occasionally it makes me dizzy or nauseous. Some days it feels bigger, some days I can barely feel it, but it’s still there. That’s how anxiety manifests on me.

I don’t remember when I started struggling with anxiety. I suspect I always had it, since I was a child, I just didn’t know what it was. I was always a worrier. I remember worrying every time an inspector came to school to check us for lice in case I had any and got embarrased in front of the whole school, or whether my skirt was caught in my underwear (this still worries me!). As I grew older, my concerns took various forms and combined with a few traumatic experiences e.g. my ex stalking me for a year or so, emotional abuse etc, I reached a point I couldn’t handle it more than once.

Only in the last few years I manage to cope more efficiently. I just cope, it doesn’t really go away. But even to the day, every now and then it gets out of hand. Only a year ago, I was so stressed I lost my appetite and that gave me sever stomachache. It physically hurt to eat anything. After that, I promised myself I wouldn’t let it reach to that level again.

It can still happen, I know that, but at least I can handle it better. Yoga, running, my guitar, writing, travelling, spending time with loved ones and a lot of me time help me the most.

I’ve written about anxiety many a time:

Heatwaves, pandemic, anxiety and here I am, stuck in the middle.

Lockdown fever (why lockdown needs to end asap)

How anxiety feels like…

Following my dreams (just need to find out what they are) Chapter 2: Cyprus

(check my page for more) and I’ve been chatting about it with strangers, colleagues, friends, and loved ones for years. I don’t think I’ll ever stop!

Although I had a great week, going to the vegetable and fruit market after many many years, a day at the beach, a few days in Berlin (minus the cruel flight times and the extreme heatwave), the halloumi and anari workshop, and relaxing at the swimming pool afterwards, my anxiety levels have been off the roof as my to-do list grows longer and longer!

Anxiety hits you in many shapes and forms. For me it’s psychosomatic, it gives me headaches and stomachaches and occasionally panic attacks (and insomnia), for others it’s heart arrythmia, blurry vision, nightmares, compulsive eating. Anxiety is a beast, it can cause or aggravate other disorders e.g. OCD and depression and it’s quite common.

According to a 2018 OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development) report, “The most common mental disorder across EU countries is anxiety disorder, with an estimated 25 million people (or 5.4% of the population) living with anxiety disorders, followed by depressive disorders, which affect over 21 million people (or 4.5% of the population)”.

And based on a World of Health Organisation (WHO) report, “In the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic, global prevalence of anxiety and depression increased by a massive 25%”.

So, let’s talk about it, learn how to recognise anxiety signs and symptoms on ourselves and others and help each other. How do you experience anxiety?

Eleni

The One I turn 36 (Thoughts on Growing Older)

Thursday evening, the 12th of May, 2022.

The second Eurovision semifinal is playing in the background, whilst I lie on my hotel bed, trying to gather my thoughts and feelings. I still couldn’t believe how these series of coincidences brought me back to Southampton, after three years, since I left. It feels like a lifetime ago and at the same time, like yesterday.

I had finished my work meeting a bit early and after a bit of wander into the city I spent 10 years of my life, probably the most transformative years of my life, my 20s, exhausted from the travel the night before, came back to the hotel, had a shower and decided to just rest.

It’s been months since the last time I decided to ‘just rest’, it’s been so long I can’t even remember when the last time that happened was.

The following day I just wandered in town, at my favourite bookshop, walking across the park and for the first time in a while I felt I didn’t have to rush. I just enjoyed doing things I love. I felt I could breathe again.

I’ve realised that for a while now, I have been running around like a headless chicken for so long, I neglected my mental health, which of course has affected my physical health. Headaches, sleepiness, confusion, memory lapses, loss of appetite.

I really don’t understand how being busy became an achievement and something everyone loves to complain about. It’s not an achievement, it’s a sign of no life balance (Trust me, it’s OK to relax and rest for a day or too, rather than feel you have to do something, just because others do. FOMO is an artificial need created by humans, like many others).

And I feel I lost that balance ever since I left this city. I spent Saturday just catching up with friends, and enjoying living in the moment. Moments with old colleagues and loved ones. I instantly felt how much I missed them. How not to, with all the wonderful humans I know. I wish I had more time to see more of my friends.

Lately all I can think of is what the point of life is. Every now and then I get this horrific anxiety and fear about living and dying and the in-between.

What is the meaning of life? What is my purpose? Why do I exist?

I read a few books and had countless discussions with friends trying to figure out the answers to these questions, just to calm my brain down and the irrational (or rational? I haven’t decided yet) fear of dying.

As Derren Brown, eloquently argues in his book about happiness , if we were to live for ever, we would have eventually be bored of everything, and life would have no meaning. So, what is the purpose of life?

Happiness is amazing. It’s so amazing it doesn’t matter if it’s yours or not. There’s that lovely thing: “A society grows great when old men plant trees the shade of which they know they will never sit in”. Good people do things for other people. That’s it. The end. Anne told Tony on Ricky Gervais’ brilliant series After Life, which is about a man triyng to deal with the death of his wife whom he absolutely adored.

Maybe that’s the meaning of life? Do good things for other people, make the world a better place. It’s all about finding purpose in life. That’s what i remember from a little witty book I read on philosophical theories about life meaning (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24612009-every-time-i-find-the-meaning-of-life-they-change-it).

But even when you find your purpose, and to do that you inevitably need to work on your emotional intelligence, your self-awareness, realising who you are, loving yourself, self management and above else empathy, growing up it’s scary as hell.

My parents are now in their late 50s and 60s and I’m terrified for them, watching them grow older. I want them to live forever. It tears me apart. I’m thinking that maybe is better to stick around now they are growing older and they may need me more, but on the other hand what if I finally find my purpose and that takes me elsewhere, away from them?

It makes me sad thinking that they may find themselves feeling lonely and helpless. And I certainly want to try and enjoy being around them as much as I can before they start forgetting and get that lost look in their eyes (I only recently watched the latest episode of This Is Us and the scene where Rebecca doesn’t recognise her children broke my heart).

So on my birthday, a week after I came back from Southampton, I spent the day with my family and loved ones and I cherished every moment.

When thinking about life, mortality and growing old stresses me out, I just focus in the moment, taking one day at a time, spending time with loved ones and I try to make the world a better place, little by little. When my time comes to go, at least I’ll go happy and not anxious and horrified.

The reason I’m sharing all these thoughts, it’s that I know they are not unique and actually expressing them out loud, or in this case in words, somehow makes them more bearable. And perhaps you can relate, and feel a bit of a relief that these terrifying thoughts haunt not just you but a lot of other people.

Namaste

Eleni

Lessons I learned after I turned 30

Back in February 2016, on the 25th of February, I started a blog, this very blog.

I wanted to for a while but my then boyfriend kept discouraging me, arguing that I had nothing to say.

So, just after our break-up and a series of other unfortunate events (which I wrote about at the time), I started “What I learned before I turned 30”, a personal journal sharing what I learned so far in life, a few months just before I turned 30, which actually has helped me (and it still does) to make sense of what was happening at the time and helpfully reassure others that they are not alone, we all struggle in life.

A few years later, I decided to change the name of the blog, since I had already turned 30 and it didn’t make sense anymore. At the time I thought it was a good idea to name it ‘Eleni’s world’ since it was more autobiographical and a mix of different things, and honestly I couldn’t think of a better name.

A few days ago, whilst pondering how to make more time for myself and things I enjoy doing, before I turn completely crazy and exhausted from life, running around like a headless chicken, I had an epiphany.

Why don’t I name my blog ‘Lessons I learned after I turned 30’?

I haven’t been posting as often lately, though I really want to and I’m planning to, and giving the blog a revamp and a more specific identity can movitate me to do that.

So here it is. The new name of my blog.

Lessons I Learned after I turned 30, let it be English or Life lessons, lessons from my travels, personal and work life.

Namaste

Eleni

Why don’t we talk about mental health in Cyprus?

It often comes to my mind, that, when I was in high school, I’d regularly get upset about the fact I couldn’t accurately, and in the way I truly wished, articulate my thoughts and opinions when writing essays. There was always a barrier. There was always something missing.

Years later, when I started putting my thoughts on paper (and later on a blog) it somehow became easier, as if I was released from whatever kept my expressive side blocked and silenced. And I feel that’s how talking about mental health evolved over the years not just for me, but for the rest of the world too.

Although I studied psychology for my first degree, even then, about 18 years ago (I’m almost 36, to save you from the trouble of calculating my age), there was a stigma about it. Not many (if any) would openly admit they suffered from depression, or anxiety, or autism, or bipolar disorder, or panic attacks, as it was considered a weakness or pure ‘insanity’. You would only see a psychologist if you were ‘crazy’.

After living in the UK for 10 years, having volunteered for a mental charity, having written about depression and anxiety myself, seeing, listening and reading about people openly sharing their feelings and troubles, witnessing mental health organisations growing in numbers and popularity (NGOs such as the Samaritans or Mind or social enterprises like the brilliant Touch I used to volunteer for) I was under the impression things would have progressed in Cyprus too, not to the degree they did in the UK, but certainly to some extent.

Surely by now people would have realised that is as important (if not more) to look after their mental health the way they look after their physical health. If you break your leg, you’d go to the doctor, if you are paralysed from anxiety, you’d go to a psychologist, right? Not to mention the effects of the digital era, as well as the global pandemic on mental health, and the fact that we are all busy, all the time. One day we’ll reach to a point we’ll have no time to breathe (just writing about it stresses me out) .

A few days ago, whilst enjoying a coffee on my own at a local cafe, I was brainstorming ideas on what organisation I can volunteer for, and I was unpleasantly surprised to discover after looking up mental health NGOs to volunteer that there aren’t really any on the island!

Why is that? Is it because there’s still stigma around mental health here? Are people here still in denial about the importance of looking after your mental wellbeing? Are they scared to admit when they are struggling? Do they still perceive sharing your feelings as a weakness (it’s one of the hardest things to do actually and it shows strength and character, a brilliant example of the power of vulnerability as Bene Brown eloquently talked about it a few years ago https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o) ? Is it because there isn’t enough interest by locals or psychologists?

I have been talking about it with a few friends and colleagues lately and I’m still baffled why that is and I wish I had the means to set up a mental health NGO myself, just to make a start.

For now I can’t, but what I can do is continue to talk about mental health with friends, family and strangers, because every time I do, someone would relate to and share their own experiences (which I love to hear about, everyday human stories are so powerful in so many ways) and that’s a clear sign that any outlets to talk about mental health struggles with others in a safe, non-judgmental environment, where you can also receive relevant advice and/or training on how to identify signs or symptoms of a person suffering would be of great benefit.

Who knows, maybe we can soon start a movement and change things up on the island, at least when it comes to mental health!

Namaste

Eleni

What I missed about travelling

Friday, 17th of September, 2021

I’m at Larnaca airport, about to fly to Brussels.

I haven’t been to Departures for about 14 months. That’s the longest I’ve haven’t stepped foot on a plane and it felt strange.

Anxious but excited, like a little kid at Christmas, waiting for Santa.

It wasn’t exactly a holiday, I was flying to Belgium to help my little sister settle before her masters studies, but for the first time ever since I moved back to Cyprus I was finally about to get away from the daily life here. I looked forward to it for a long, long time.

It was an exhausting week, but it reminded me of what I missed about travelling.

Wandering at the airport

That feeling of excitement, waiting impatiently to board on the plane but also taking in the surroundings, people watching, some reuniting, others saying goodbye, some travelling alone, others with family or friends, everyone with a unique story that led them there.

Flying

Your heart beating fast, waiting for the plane to take off, watching a film on board, overhearing various conversations and finally the anticipation, landing and waiting eagerly to get out of the plane and have a first look at the place you are about to spend your time at.

Discovering beautiful places at random

There’s nothing more exuberant than coming agross a beautiful corner or a gorgeous alley, whilst wandering in a new city.

The local cuisine

You don’t need to be a food enthousiast like I am to appreciate a foreign country’s delicacies and local dishes.

Sightseeing

Famous landmarks, breathtaking churches, impressive architecture. There’s always a lot to explore at a place and the feeling never wears off.

Of course I didn’t miss airport queues, which are inevitable in the current situation with all the passport and vaccination certiicate checks, travelling during a pandemic, but I genuinely can’t wait to go abroad againm and again, and again. I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of it.

I still wish I could travel whilst I work. Maybe one day. Who knows.

What do/did you miss about travelling, if anything?

Eleni

Eat, Move, Live Sustainably- 7 Day challenge – COMPLETE

It’s taken about a month to finally find the time to write about my 7 day challenge but better late than never!

It was a wonderfully productive, educational, exciting week, during which I learned a lot about little and not so little things I can do (well everyone of us can) to make our planet a bit better and hopefully extend it’s life span.

I won’t list everything I did (you can have a look at a selection of photos below and my Instagram posts on each day about it) but the biggest lesson I’ve learnt is, as cheesy as it sounds, that every little helps.

Reducing the use of plastic and cars as much as possible, reducing water, electricity and meat consumption, recycling, picking up litter, we can all do them to a lesser or greater degree. I promise you, it’s not as hard as you think it might be.

I personally found it much easier than I thought not to eat meat for a week and I love the reusable glass straws I bought to replace the paper ones, they have a better feel and no need to throw anything away! One of the people on the group commuted to work by bus which wasn’t as inconvenient as he initialy thought it would be, another installed a water filter to avoid buying plastic bottles, some discovered eco-friendly cosmetics, whereas others now take their water bottle and reuseable straws with them everywhere they go and the list goes on. Check out the Embassy of Sweden in Cyprus Facebook page, where you can read more about the group’s challenges

We can’t be using the excuse of ‘Unless the industry/government/etc does something about it, there’s no point of me trying’ anymore. If we all adopt more sustainable habits, we can not only help save the planet and live a healthier life, but we can also inspire others and all these small changes will add up and create a huge impact.

We have now truly ran out of time. We need to act now and restore as much damage we made to our beautiful planet as possible.

What this 7-day challenge proved to myself and the rest of the group is that living a more sustainable life is certainly possible and the way forward is not by adopting habits that would make our everyday life impossible and we eventually cease doing them, but by making a lot of smaller, easier to adopt changes.

Eat, Move, Live Sustainably- 7 Day challenge

A couple of weeks ago Eva, my favourite partner in crime at the office, shared a post from the Embassy of Sweden in Cyprus, (in collaboration with Let’s Make Cyprus Green, an amazing organisation doing great work on saving the planet) asking for participants to take part in a challenge living sustainably for a week.

I do my bit to protect the environment, but I feel there’s still more I can do and A LOT more to learn, so I decided to sign up, as Eva also did so we could take up the challenge together.

Last Friday, the 16th of July, we got together at Home For Cooperation to be given more information about the challenge, an unexpectedly informative and inspiring evening.

Let’s Make Cyprus Green gave a short and also shocking presentation with some horrific statistics that shook us all up.

Did you know that only 9% of plastic does get recycled and that after the first time it gets recycled the quality drops so it doesn’t really get recycled again?
Did you know that traces of microplastic have been found not just inside us but also in embryos?
Did you know that not all paper drinking cups are 100% recyclable?
Did you know that is predicted that by 2050 there will be more trash than fish in the ocean? That trash has been found in the deapest of the oceans already?

These are just some of the terrifying facts about our planet and why we have to act now. We may recycle as much as we can but that is not the solution. We need to do more than that. We need to work more on prevention. Let’s Make Cyprus Green has already started a few great initiatives, such as water refill stations installation and organising regular beach cleanups but it’s everyone’s responsibility to save the planet, we are the ones who have been destroying it after all.

After the presentation we all brainstormed ideas on what we should include in our challenge and ways we can eat, move and live more sustainably. The point of this exercise is not to torture ourselves or cut all plastic from our lives and anything else harmful all at once, that’s not feasible or sustainable (although how we wish it was!).

The point is to gradually adopt more sustainable, green habits and this challenge is an opportunity to try some of these habits when it comes to eating, moving and living sustainably. Every little we do helps.

So what I’ll learn/try/attempt this week?

EAT

No meat (should be easy considering I don’t eat much meat)
Reduction of my cow milk consumption, I’ll replace it with oat milk (almond milk leaves a large ecological footprint).
Eating locally produced vegetables and fruit (I personally love using RescuedBox, who save perfectly fine but ‘too ugly for supermarkets’ vegetables and fruit and sells them to customers across the island).

MOVE

Use my car as less as possible (e.g. walk to the supermarket or kiosk).
Car share (if possible)
Use public transport (not that easy/convenient when carrying three bags)

LIVE

No takaway food or coffee
Buy and use reusable, refillable water bottles until I find out more about water filters and whether is possible to install one at my flat.
Use of glass straws
Use of dish washing water to water the plants
Park clean up during exercise/walks which is called plogging, Swedish for plocka upp (pick up) and jogga (jog)
Find out more about composting in Nicosia

In a week’s time we’ll all meet again to discuss our experience and get our diploma for participating.

If you decide to participate pick up a few ideas or come up with your own and join us!

Namaste

Eleni

My blue denim jacket

Have you ever owned an inexpensive item of negligible monetary value that you absolutely love? And you recognise you love it purely because of its sentimental value?

I’m one of the least materialistic people I know. I’d rather spend the little income I make on experiences, travel, time with friends and family, not on things. So I never spend a huge amount of money on clothes or accessories.

I often though associate my modest belongings with precious memories or people and when I lose or break one of these precious to me pieces I grieve. I, of course, understand that it’s just ‘a thing’ and losing it shouldn’t matter, but it does. Because, for me, this ‘thing’ is a memory nugget, reminding me of a special friend, a loved one, an awesome day, a significant period of my life, and I’m terrified I’d forget whatever I associate it with, if I lose one of these memory nuggets.

I’ve lost or broken a few of these memory nuggets over the years, a set of earrings my sister got me, a memory card with photos from the UK and my most recent travels to Sicily, Rhodes and Belgium, a bracelet a dear friend got me, a pair of shoes I wore absolutely everywhere, and most recently, my blue denim jacket.

‘Come on, it’s just a jacket, get another one, the same even’ one might say. But it will never be the same.

I’ve got this jacket in June, 2019. I remember that because it was one of the last purchases I made before I left the UK. And as with the majority of my decisions, I browsed for hours, painstakingly looking for the perfect jacket. Why do I find it so excruciatingly difficult, even choosing a denim jacket? But, when I came across it on the Mango website, I knew that was THE one, at least what I had in mind.

I wore it the last time I’ve hugged goodbye my UK friends in Southampton in July.

I wore it a month later, during my CELTA course, one of the most challenging, painful but rewarding months of my entire life. I wore it during our lessons, I wore it when Jonny hugged me after I told him with tears in my eyes that my grandpa had died the day before and I wore it when I hugged my classmates goodbye.

I wore it on my way back to Cyprus after 11 weird and wonderful years in the UK and on my way to Italy a few months later.

I wore it during my first year teaching at Reggio, an experience I’ll never forget and on my way back to Cyprus after going through the first wave of the global pandemic outbreak in Italy, one of the worst-hit countries.

So today I grieve the loss of my blue denim jacket and with it the friends and places I miss.

Eleni

The Austrian Ambassador (Dr Ziegler) and I

About a month ago a colleague forwarded a Facebook post to the group.

‘Ambassador in Cyprus for a day?’

As part of the International Women’s Day celebrations in Cyprus, women across the island could enter a competition and the prize was to spend a day with a female ambassador in Cyprus and learn more about their work.

All you had to do was send a short video (up to two minutes) with a brief introduction about yourself, why you’d like to be an ambassador for a day and why International Women’s Day is important.

Truth be told I didn’t know much about an ambassador’s life and I was really happy that there was no age limit to enter (I felt a bit frustrated lately with the amount of events or initiatives only for people under 30 years old) so I thought I’d send a video. I had nothing to lose and I love making little videos.

Unsurprisingly, two minutes were not enough to express all my thoughts but I tried. This was the video I sent.

I didn’t really expect to win. I’m older than probably most of the participants and ,well for those you’ve known me for a while, I’m infamous for my bad luck (don’t forget, during the first of what was supposed to be a few years of travelling and teaching English, I spent it in Italy, half of it locked inside due the global Covid pandemic).

Against all odds though I did win and I was matched with the Austrian ambassador in Cyprus, Dr Eva Maria Ziegler.

We had a little chat on the phone beforehand during which she explained that due to the current lockdown situation in Cyprus there weren’t many events planned this period so there was no point spending a whole day with her just in the office. I was pleasantly surprised with her honesty and openness from the get go, even over the phone.

So the plan was to meet her a few days later at the Austrian Embassy and have a chat. But she first invited me to the (virtual) Press Conference on Francophonie (the annual international celebration of the French language) and the celebrations planned by embassies across Cyprus as well as the Ministry of Education and Culture. I couldn’t believe I was part of a Press Conference which consisted of various ambassadors in Cyprus as well as the Minister of Education and Culture. What a surreal experience that was!

I knew about Francophonie as I happened to be in Brussels two years ago on that day, during which there was live music next to Manneken Pis, but I didn’t realise that was also celebrated in Cyprus with events planned and all.

A few days later I went to her office and we had a long chat. What an amazing experience it was to visit an embassy!

I can’t remember the last time I learned so much in such short space of time. I can’t possibly document all I’ve learned but I’ll share the highlights.

Dr Ziegler’s father was a diplomat, so she was familiar with that way of life since she was a child. Although she originally studied music management (and law) she found it hard to get into it and decided to follow in her father’s footsteps. She had an incredible career. She worked for the Austrian Federal Ministry of Foreign Affairs and she worked as an Austrian ambassador in Milan and in Lebanon amongst other countries.

We talked about politics, travel and she shared amazing stories from her ambassador life including the story of the extraordinary life of a 103 year old Jewish lady who ended up living in the Buffer Zone in Nicosia (and sadly recently died).

What she loved most of the ambassador life is the variety as embassy work is not just about visas and passports but also organising cultural events and initiatives as the embassy is given a cultural budget, as well as meeting a diversity of people from all walks of life. And of course an Ambassador gets to travel as every 4 years postings end and you get to apply for a different country. I would love to live the ambassador life!

The worst part of her job that she doesn’t enjoy as much is writing reports and long meetings. I don’t blame her!

After our chat I got to meet her PA, Mr Antonopoulos, A Greek-Austrian who’s been working as a PA in embassies for a few years. Similar to the ambassador, he loves the variety and travel that comes with the job. What he doesn’t enjoy is moving.

All in all it was a great experience, it’s not every day you get to meet an ambassador, let alone an honest, fun, easy to chat to one, as Dr Ziegler. I’ve learned a lot and it gave me a few ideas on what I’d like to do in the future.

Eleni

What do I want to be now I grew up?

‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ everyone would ask when I was a child, a teenager, a young adult.

The answer differed as I grew up. A doctor, a singer, an actress, a teacher, a psychologist, a travel writer.

And when I grew up, I became none of these. I’m not even sure what I became.

A year ago I quit my office job, I left the UK, got a CELTA, taught English in Italy for a year and now I’m back home to Cyprus after 10 years and I have no clue what to do next. It’s exciting, in theory I can do anything but I’m mostly terrified and worried I’m too old, I’ll run out of money and end up nowhere.

We were brought up to believe that by the time we hit 30 we would have tried a few different jobs and settled on a career and be happy with that one dream job, or at least be happy enough to stay in a job indefinitely.

But a single career path is not for everyone and not always the case. A lot of successful people in pretty much every field changed careers when they were older and wiser or kept changing careers or juggled more than one jobs until they died.

What do I want to be now I grew up?

I’m one of those people. Not a successful one, not yet anyway but there’s so many paths I’d like to follow but it’s impossible to try them all and even harder to stick to one or two.

Some are technically, and by technically I mean financially, not possible. One of the occupations I always wanted to go into was counselling. But I can’t afford another qualification. I can’t even ask for a loan as I’m now back to Cyprus and all the excellent credit score I built up for years in the UK won’t help me much here. Do I even want to have a debt?

Should I continue with EFL teaching? I could but my first year though rewarding, was exhausting and had zero time for myself, my friends or to travel. And should I risk going to another country and end up locked inside teaching online because of this pandemic’s unpredictable course?

I could become a writer. The idea of writing a fantasy/crime novel always excited me or a raw honest non-fiction on how society, social status and let’s face it wealth (or perhaps lack of) can and has for generations embedded a deep fear of failure especially in women. It’s always tougher for a woman, let alone one with no savings or family money to have ambitions and not let disappointment take over.

I sadly not only realised that for myself (after years of deep self-exploration) but I see it in dear friends and family who are better in what they do than others who might have become famous or run their own business but they are too shy or lack the confidence to ask or go for more.

That’s why the majority of politicians, business owners, celebrities and so on come from wealthy or at least upper-middle class families with connections and financial support making it easier to succeed.

I should believe in myself more, but at the moment I am crippled by my own insecurities and fears.

So what do I know about myself when it comes to my next career step now that I’m on those crossroads?

I don’t want to be stuck in an office 9-5, I’d love to travel and most importantly I’d be over the moon if what I do for a living helps others in any way.

Unfortunately volunteering doesn’t pay and living with my parents after 10 years living on my own is tough. I need my own space to keep growing and figure out what to do next.

For now, I’ll keep pushing myself to do more, trust myself and try not to stress about money and work and in the meantime if you have any personal inspirational stories or any piece of advice, please do share!

Namaste

Eleni