blogging – Page 6 – Lessons I learned after I turned 30

4 months ago… the start of a (then) new life…

How life can change so much in such a short space of time???

That was in my mind for a long time and still is… (and little did I know how much more it could and did change).

The next day after we broke up, I decided to get organised. Get out, get a job and start thinking about my new life. My relationship pushed me away from the few friends I had and it was now time to get back to the social person I was before I let this relationship change me, make new friends and start building a life on my own.

I still had bad days, I felt I didn’t want to do anything else but stay home and cry… I lost my aunt (I’d never in a million years imagined I’d live what I lived that horrible week), I lost my partner… and I was dealing with unemployment (we all know how frustrating that can be) but I pushed myself as much as I could. LESSON 13. There is always worse. But that doesn’t mean your problems are not important for you and in my own little world dealing with everything that happened was and is not easy.

And I managed to get a temp job within 3 days!!!

Sheba was there for me throughout everything I went through. She was and is my guardian angel.

My choir family was there for me too. They all made me laugh and cheered me up. And unexpectedly, two choir friends supported me through this too.

Thank you guys for supporting me at a very difficult time in my life, not many would have done for someone they don’t really know that well.

After a couple of weeks, I managed to get a job back at the Uni, although I’d said I’d never go back. LESSON 14- NEVER SAY NEVER ( this lesson I learned over and over the following months).

I felt I was back home as soon as I walked in when I went for my interview. I needed a job I could learn how to do quickly, I couldn’t face a brand new challenge at this point in my life. I needed stability and time to heal... (also Sheba still works there, which is a bonus). So I went for it.

And I am glad I did. My managers and colleagues have been very supportive and understanding through all of this… and there have been times it was hard being at work but they supported me every single time…

After a month I felt my life got back on track… my ex and I still lived together until the end of our contract 2 months later (which proved extremely difficult and painful, especially a month later, it will make sense after reading my next post), but I had a new job, at a workplace which felt and feels like home, working with lovely colleagues, chatting all day, having a laugh. I started making new friends, going out more… having fun…

And then something unexpected happened… again!!! ‘3 months ago’ coming next…

4 months ago…part 1

Edit- I’ve received some feedback (although rude and threatening but still took it into account) so I’ve amended some details on my previous post- I have no intention to insult or show disrespect to anyone. I only want to express my thoughts, what life events meant for me and what I’ve learned from them..

Before you go on reading, just to let you know, I have a lot of theories, my theories, so let’s call her Eleni’s theories, ET for short! They will be mentioned occasionally.

So, four months ago, in October 2015 things were not going well and one of my theories is, if you don’t speak up, whatever is bothering you will eat you alive.

I didn’t enjoy my new job at all and I desperately wanted to leave… I felt very demotivated and unchallenged with the tasks I was asked to do. So I had my first ever difficult conversation at work, letting them know how I felt and what we can do to improve it. LESSON 4. Honesty is the best policy.

I was later blamed for a mistake I didn’t make and had to have a difficult conversation with my managers (after an emotional conversation I had with them about my aunt and warning them I would have to leave at any time to hopefully catch her alive and say my final goodbyes, PS I’ve never cried in front of any of my colleagues or managers before this)

I never really had to have any difficult conversations at my workplace before as my ex-manager and good friend Chris and I always talked openly about everything. I love my ex-colleagues, they are the loveliest bunch of people ( I know I use the word ‘lovely’ a lot).

I later received an apology for wrongfully blamed for the mistake I haven’t made, but the trust was gone. I couldn’t see how my career would progress there and although my manager did his best, we just clashed. LESSON 5. If your relationship with your manager is not good, do something about it.

So I was in a job I didn’t enjoy, at a workplace I didn’t enjoy with people I didn’t really fit in(remember lesson 2?) and I knew I had to leave.

On a personal level, my relationship had reached its lowest point, although at the time I really believed it can get better so after a long, honest conversation, my ex boyfriend and I had decided to do our best to make it work because we loved each other.

He supported me with my decision to quit, so I took the plunge and quit…

In all this I became best friends with Shebz, who supported me and helped me in all this. She is one of the most incredible, amazing, caring people I ever known and I feel lucky and proud to be her friend! Love you! x

One of the things that helped me through this was my choir family. I joined a community choir in April and since then I met the loveliest people who always cheered each other up and had lots of fun and laughter and a bit of singing! If you are thinking of starting something new, I definitely recommend singing in a choir!

So, I quit on Friday, 16th of October 2015 and I booked a ticket to fly home on the 17th as I received devastating news that my aunt’s health was deteriorating rapidly.. The following week I will never forget, I still haven’t recovered… Part 2 coming soon and is not an easy read…

6 months ago…

So… although not everything started 6 months ago, that’s when my life as I knew it started to change…

I had a ‘I’m almost 30 years old’ crisis on my 29th birthday in May, realising how much time I wasted being in an a job I didn’t enjoy anymore, a relationship I was unhappy in but desperately tried to make it work, a life I didn’t enjoy. And I decided not to celebrate my birthday at all.

I’d been in the same job for 4 years and I tried desperately to get into a field I then thought I really wanted to get into, Occupational Psychology so I spent money and time to gain more qualifications etc, but without experience and in need of a substantial salary, that meant I couldn’t. LESSON 1: If you know what you want to do as a career, do it as soon as you leave University and you have no responsibilities, it’s MUCH easier!

So in June 2015, I managed to get a job as a reward analyst, something I haven’t done before, but it was at a large, reputable organisation and was loosely related to what I then thought I wanted to do. So I went for it! But, it didn’t work out. I was asked to do basic tasks, I never felt challenged, I didn’t fit in with the team and my manager couldn’t fully understand and utilise my potential. LESSON 2: Always appreciate working with nice people!It makes a huge difference! (More on that later)

But not all was bad, I managed to get tickets to go to Glastonbury Festival, something I wanted to for ages and as my then partner of 7 years wanted to go too, I kept trying to get tickets and I was ecstatic when I finally got them. If you haven’t been to Glastonbury, you should at least once in your life, it’s a different world, a magical world full of music, crafts, acrobats, meditation classes (and smell of weed) and lots lots more. I hope to go again at least once more now that I’m a completely different person. LESSON 3: If you really want something done, do it yourself!

In the meantime, my lovely, adorable, kind aunt was diagnosed with terminal cancer back in 2014, and her illness was taking over, so I did everything I could do to support my family back home, especially her daughter, my cousin. As her health declined in the summer I spent hours talking to my cousin, emailing her doctor as no one could give them a clear answer and comforting all relatives.

So, that when I had a wake-up call. I realised I wasn’t happy with my life and I knew I needed to make big changes…

How life can change in 6 months…

I’ve been meaning to start this blog a while ago but never found the time or the courage. But there is no better time than now!

My life changed dramatically in the last 6 months and by sharing my experiences and what I’ve learned, I hope I’ll learn more about myself and hopefully some of the lessons I’ve learned can be useful to others.

So join me in this journey, if you want to! I welcome any comments 🙂

Have a lovely day everyone!