The Accessible Art Show

I didn’t know much about the Accessible Art Show other than it was an art exhibition at the Solent University’s Spark, where I work. The term ‘Accessible’ sparked my curiosity though. I initially thought it referred to the accessibility of the building it was held at but no.

It was Accessible because there was something for everyone. Paintings, digital art, pottery, sculptures and many of the artists were there to have a chat with. There were people drawing, painting, creating there and then, incredible atmosphere and all for free (there was also an online auction going on at the same time where anyone could bid to buy the artwork on display, which has now closed). Local art, accessible to all. A great selection of incredible art by superbly talented local artists.

I bumped into Richard, the That’s TV journalist I was chatting to half an hour earlier at the Communicare Fair. He put together a little video on the exhibition, published yesterday. You might spot a familiar face!

I’m glad I decided to pop by, despite my tiredness. I absolutely loved it. I had a wander, taking snaps of the pieces that caught my eye and coming up with my own stories about them. That’s what art is all about.

One of my favourite was Evelyn Bartlett’s ‘Perfect Day‘. That’s how I, often, when I need to go to my happy place and calm my mind, imagine my Perfect Day to be. Sometimes a warm early morning watching the sunrise and other times a warm afternoon watching the sunset, always by the beach, listening to the gorgeous sound of waves.

But there were many many more. Here’s the rest of my favourites from Pip Webb’s Jazz Tree-O (I hear Jazz in my head every time I look at it), Mick Dixon’s Pottery to David Mc Diarmid’s Harry Potter-esque Griffin sculpture. Have a look yourself. Make up your own stories. Enjoy.

Thank you to all the organisers. What a great event at the centre of our city.

Eleni

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I have a pla…

I’ve taken hundreds of pictures, maybe thousands. There’s so much beauty in every and not so everyday moments, the best way to remember that is capture these little nuggets of life into a photograph.

I’ve been going through my enormous collection lately as I feel I should share them with the rest of the world and I pick a couple a week to post on my social media.

Last Sunday I came across this and all the excitement I felt when I took it came rushing back. I could somehow relive the exact moment. The magic of photography.

And I thought to myself ‘What the hell am I still doing here?’ I can wait a few years, save some money first but I’m tired of waiting and something has to change.

I struggle with plans, they scare me. Life is so weirdly, wonderfully unpredictable I don’t like making long term plans but now I need one. I need to lift this fog that’s been around me for months now. The cover photo couldn’t be more poignant.

And I think I have one. Maybe not a plan. I’m terrified to call it that. I have my magic beans and I have a pla, almost a plan.

I have my magic beans, wonderful, loving, supportive friends and family in Cyprus and the UK and I have a few things I’m working on to get me out of a 9 to 5 job and get some time to travel a bit and do all the creative ideas I’ve come up with over the years but never had the time or energy.

I can’t say more now until things are a bit more final but I’m posting this just to remind you all, like I’ve reminded myself to not forget to dream and take risks, do things that scare you, do things that make your heart beat fast and never apologise for it. Oh and it’s never too late. Most people my age want to settle down and have a family, and if that’s what makes them happy, that’s what they should, but I feel I have so much more in me before I settle down, it’s not for me, not for now. I have been and still am judged because of that, but honestly, I just ignore the ‘friendly advice’.

I’m terrified and excited in equal measure, my anxiety is reaching dangerous highs again but that’s the best I felt for months. So here’s to change and happiness and dreams.

Namaste

Eleni

Life, Death and Everything in Between

One of the very few things I vividly remember from my first year studying Psychology at the Uni back home was something my lecturer said that shocked me at the time.

‘You are the only one responsible for your mental wellbeing, you are the only one responsible for your feelings and actions, no matter what life throws at you, no matter how others treat you. Feeling sad or angry or happy is your fault, your responsibility.’

I could not understand why. How? If someone treated my badly, if a loved one died, why is it my fault I’m sad?

It took me years and years to fully comprehend it. It took me years to realise, as Lisa Fieldman Barret, a neuroscientist and psychologist beautifully stated in a TED Talk I recently watchedYour emotions are built, not built in‘, meaning you, or your brain to be more precise is the one controlling them, although it may feels impossible.

I co-incidentally watched a Youtube video of Will Smith explaining how what happens in your life and how others treat you it is not your fault, but how you respond is your responsibility. And that’s exactly it.

When you stop blaming others and get out of the ‘victim’ mentality everything suddenly changes. You are in charge, you are responsible. Scary, tough but liberating.

My week

I say that every week since the beginning of the year but last week felt like the longest week of the year so far.

It’s been incredibly busy at work, which I actually enjoy. I’ve learned a lot over the last couple of weeks, I met different people across the University, from students to lecturers to HR experts such as Geoff Glover whose experience is impressive to say the least.

I’m incredibly grateful and honoured he agreed to meet with me and chat over coffee. I’ve learned more in an hour that I learned in a month. I truly admire humble, talented humans who love sharing their knowledge and experience with everyone and don’t let arrogance and success blind them. Geoff is definitely one of them.

But not everyone is nice and getting into arguments it’s inevitable sometimes. I had some of those too this week.

After work I spent most of my evenings writing or catching up with messages and other things I needed to do with the exception of my magical evening at the John Hansard Gallery.

the Transformer

By the end of the week I was shuttered.

On Friday sad news of a friend friend’s death, our age, and one of my best friend’s dad’s death added to my mental and physical exhaustion.

I went to bed at 11pm on Friday. That rarely happens but I was so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

I woke up early the next morning but I couldn’t get up. I messaged my best friend, my soul sister, my soulmate Happy Birthday telling her how I wished I was there to celebrate with her. And then I went back to sleep.

I stayed in bed until 2pm. I needed it. That meant I had to spend the rest of the weekend cleaning, tidying up, shopping, washing but I needed the break. I need a holiday and I can’t wait for my week off in March but for now that’s the best I could do.

It sucks when people lie to you, underestimate you or undervalue you. It sucks when your near and dear ones are ill, it sucks when they die. And it’s not your fault. Don’t you ever blame yourself. But you are the only one who can change things, you are the only one who can fix it. You are the only one who controls your feelings, your emotions, your actions.

Over the last three years I learned to take responsibility for my emotions and my mental wellbeing and even more importantly, I learned to control them. Not all the time but well enough not to beat myself up and fall back to depression.

Mrs Polikseni I get it now, it took me years but I get it.

Here’s to another week. No idea what it will bring, life is full of surprises lately, but whatever happens, enjoy every moment. Forget about dos and dont’s. Forget about anything that makes you unhappy, worried or anxious. Just live.

Every weekend I facetime my little sis and we chat and laugh for hours, catching up, talking about our week. Something so simple makes me so happy. It’s all about the little things.

I often ask myself…

‘If I die right now, how I want others to remember me?’ I want to be remembered as kind, caring, creative, always singing, a tad crazy, obsessed with food and Yoga With Adriene who made others smile and laugh.

‘If I die right now, what I want my last thoughts to be?’ I’m happy and blessed to have amazing, loving friends and family, I have a roof above my head and delicious food on my plate. I do my best to enjoy every single moment. I’m happy.

If I die right now, what would my biggest regrets be? This I struggle to answer but…

What most people dying, the single moment when the clarity of mind reaches extraordinary levels and you cannot but be honest to yourself wished for was that they worked less and spent more time making memories with their loved ones, enjoyed life more, expressed their feelings more and were happier and true to themselves.

Life is really too damn short. I’ve been reminded of it so many times I started to wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something…

Or maybe not…

Namaste

Eleni

PS Happy birthday to my little Prince. I promise I’ll teach you all I learned about life, death and everything in between.

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” 

My Little Prince

 

 

The perfect end to a not so perfect week

Sunday afternoon. I’m home alone, sitting on my bed enjoying the sunshine, listening to my music on Spotify. (obsessed with Ider, Does She Even Know) Pure bliss. I just came home from lunch and I feel it’s the perfect time to reflect on last week. What a better way to start the new week with a clear mind.

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Before I take you through this week in Eleni’s world, I want to wish happy birthday to my amazing, sweet, honest, loving, caring dad. I’m not saying any more, otherwise I’ll start crying again. God this week I’ve cried so much it’s unbelievable, but here’s my Insta post, it sums up how lucky I am to have chef Costis as my father.

Monday

The week didn’t start well. I doubted myself, I felt inadequate, I felt I wasn’t enough and all of that because I let someone in and I was disappointed. I’ll post about it later, of course I will, I learned from it and that’s why I started this blog. To share what I learn and hopefully others can learn from my mistakes and experiences. I can’t say more right now because things are not clear in my head yet and I learned over the last two years that overreacting never helps. Emotional hijacking that is. When your emotions bypass your thinking, rational self and you are filled with anger, sadness and pain, that’s how humans are made of. It’s hard to master the art of emotional intelligence, but when you do, even a little bit, makes such a difference. More on that later.

What made my Monday better was writing on what I love about Solent. It’s all about the people, it really is. A reminder of how lucky I am to have loving, caring people in my life.

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Tuesday

Tuesday was a little bit better than Monday. A heart-felt chat with one of my favourite humans, Dan and our singing session lifted my spirits.

My fave

Wednesday

Wednesday was just amazing. I had the best day with Lou and the rest of the Student Achievement team, with the highlight of probably my week, the visit at Below Bar and meeting incredible, talented, brilliant people, exactly what I needed to restore my faith to humanity.

Fine Art Studios

Thursday

On Thursday I finally got to visit Shanghai 1814 and had a great lunch with my lovely ladies. Post coming soon, it’s already been written, there is so much I want to write about this week, I’m not sure when this will go out but coming soon.

 

Friday

Friday was the best. I woke up feeling homesick. I really wanted to be at home with my loved ones but the day turned better and better. After work I went for a drink, chat and lots of laughter with my UK mamma and her husband Darren and after that I’ve met 4 AMAZING ladies, local bloggers for dinner, drinks and brainstorming. The ideas kept flowing, I can’t even describe how excited I am for what’s to come. I’m not a professional blogger, I can’t stress that enough but I love writing and meeting like-minded individuals it truly is a blessing.

 

Saturday

Yesterday I needed a day for myself, to do the house chores, take care of my body and my spirit and also change the strings on my guitar, which I managed to do all by myself! So proud!

Sunday

The week ended with delicious lunch in the sunshine enjoying the seaviews with my gorgeous friend Sofy. It’s rare to meet people you just get along and get each other from day one and I’m so incredibly happy life brought us together. I learn so much from her, I can’t wait to do even more things together, so much to do and see, we came up with so many ideas today, I don’t know where to start from.

 

It’s now been a month I’ve been living with someone else. And I’m still struggling. I just can’t get used to it. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it. I don’t think it’s only because of me struggling to adjust. I’ll post about it this week, since tomorrow it’ll be the one month anniversary.

I’m immensely proud of myself and how much I matured and learned to deal with whatever life throws at me without letting depression and anxiety paralyse me. I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I poured my heart out and opened up about my struggles. It’s tough being honest, open, sensitive and vulnerable in this mad mad world but for me is the only way I can survive.

All throughout this week listening to Shebz sweet voice messages, the highlight of my day, Chris’s emotional support, thank you for making me laugh when I was sad and miserable and Donna’s care, thank you mamma Donna, kept me going.

A very busy week coming up, Pancake Day, the new Nuffield Theatre opening fireworks, and a couple of other things I can’t share yet. I’m hoping I’ll get the time to post about all of it.

Now, time for a yoga session with my favourite gal and a relaxing evening with music and my guitar to fight the Sunday blues.

We’ve got this.

The awesome in me bows to the awesome in you (love you Adriene).

Namaste

Eleni

Sometimes… 

Sometimes

I think I’m going crazy.

My mind playing tricks.

A storm.

A storm of thoughts

Worries

Will I ever make it?

Insecurities

Am I good enough?

Melancholy

I’m stuck

Panic

I’m running out of time!

Despair

I’ll never get out of this.

Is this it?

It can’t be it.

But then,

then I remember.

Love

My family

My people

My dog

My guitar

My favourite memory of the sea

The beauty of the world

The destination

New beginnings

Fresh start

I take a deep breath…

and the storm eases.

The rain stops.

I’m ready.

Ready to do it all over again.

Ready for the next day.

Amen

 

Eleni