exercise – Lessons I learned after I turned 30

Mental Health Mondays – 11. Vulnerability

6th of November, 2022, 8am.

I’m at the local park, getting ready to take part, with a few more hundred (mostly professional level) running enthusiasts, in the ‘Eurolife, Run the Park with Us’ run. My other half, who’s been training for a triathlon for the last month or so, went to find his coach and do a warm-up and I went for a wander, to check out the setting.

All I could focus on was the trained bodies, the muscles protruding around me and the pro gear most had. I even felt undedressed, if that’s ever possible.

‘What on earth am I doing here? Why did I decide to run the 10k? I don’t belong here.’

That’s what was on my mind ever since I switched from 5k to 10k. I had only run 10k twice before that day, and I felt I could probably do it, depending on the route, but I was worried I’d come last. That was my biggest worry actually until probably a few days before the run. I decided to embrace my worries and fears though, and go for it.

What’s the worst case scenario? What if I do come last? Why does that worry me that much?

It comes down to our innate tendency to avoid situations that might make us feel vulnerable, exposed, hurt, physically or mentally. So I knew I had to fight this urge.

I had recently rewatched Brene Brown’s infamous Ted Talk about vulnerability and her recent Netflix show ‘Call to Courage’ (I highly recommend both!) and I reminded myself that unless you push yourself to feel vulnerable, then you can’t really show courage and you can’t go far in life.

You need to make vulnerability part of your everyday life, get used to that uncomfortable feeling of showing your emotions, looking for a better job, asking for a better salary, being completely honest with your loved ones, letting people see your true self and above all, your feelings.

So I went for it. For a while I thought I was last, I couldn’t see anyone behind me, but I didn’t pay any attention. About half way through I bumped into an ex-colleague who kept cheering me on. That boosted my morale, as the route was not easy (but it was really beautiful, amongst trees and plants, and panoramic views). So many hills, up and down, and running on hills is not my favourite! Towards the end I thought I was lost as I couldn’t see any signs on where to go, but after probably the toughest hill of the route (they saved the best for last!) I finally heard the presenter at the finish line.

I almost burst into tears. My mum and my boyfriend were there, waiting for me, cheering me on. I did it! And apparently I didn’t come last, not that would have made any difference.

A few days later I decided to sign up for the Larnaka 10k route of the Marathon, which was two weeks later. If I could make it through the hills of the park, I can make it on a flat surface.

The 17th of November was an incredibly hot day (for November) and we ran at 10am. Needless to say I had a migraine for the rest of the day, but oh my, it was worth it.

I ran alongside professional athletes, blind runners from Israel, a woman running in memory of her son, young people, older people. I was in great company.

I wasn’t sure I’d make it, I never ran 10k in those temparatures, but running with others is motivating on its own. I can’t accurately describe that feeling. You have to experience it, to fully understand.

I almost cried when I high-fived a kid holding a sign, near the 7th kilometre, which was one of the toughest.

The route was beautiful, especially the second half. The last part of the run was by Saint Lazarus church and then alongside Foinikoudes beach, which was just gorgeous and it definitely helped me going.

I’ve now signed up for the 7.7 mile ‘Stelios Kyriakides’ run at Nicosia Marathon in a couple of weeks, which is around 12km. That will be the longest I’d ever run, so I just hope I can make it.

This push and dedication, powered by vulnerability, also helped me in my personal and professional life. In the last few weeks I felt more like myself, the closest I felt in years, and awakened my feisty spirit. I feel more inclined to speak up, and I believe more in myself and my abilities.

So, today’s message: embrace your vulnerability. It’s tough, and painful, because it inevitably means failing over and over again, but it also lets in love, light and above all, courage.

Eleni

It’s never too late to chase your dreams…

Words cannot describe how happy I am it’s finally the weekend.

March has probably been the busiest month so far in 2018 personally, socially and professionally.

Staying late at work planning the AS Away morning, putting together the programme for the day, ensuring the catering arrived on time and other event related issues you can imagine whilst trying to stay on top of everything else, urgent requests, ongoing projects and the list goes on was fun, I love a challenge, but exhausting.

In the evenings and the weekends I caught up with friends and had one of the best nights out leaving me with no time to actually catch up with myself, do my yoga, spend time on my guitar or even write on my blog.

Now I have a week off to catch up with everything, do the things I love and try new things.

Last week I went on an interview at a job at the University. I wasn’t sure whether to apply, it was a much more interesting job compared to what I do (though most of the peeps working in that team applied for it, meaning my chances were slim) but most importantly, although I still don’t know what my dream job is, I know what it isn’t. And this wasn’t.

I was surprised I was invited for an interview but I did my best to prepare in the little free time I had and I made new friends along the way across the University. Thank you Dan for all your help and our chats, it was a pleasure meeting you. And thank you Meredith, Caroline and Phil for giving me the opportunity, I’ve learned something new about a great University service, I didn’t know before.

I didn’t get the job in the end. I wasn’t surprised I didn’t get it, but I was surprised I was not disappointed. I felt relieved. I may not love my current job, although I always do my best, but it allows me mentally, physically and practically to do more of the things I love outside work. And although I don’t believe in ‘meant to be’ I have a feeling that something bigger and better is coming my way.

Since a couple of bad experiences I had recently (a job I really wanted I applied for and didn’t get it, went on a date after two years and it went terribly bad) without consciously realising my life attitude has dramatically changed. I give things a go and if not working, I move on and after a day or two, I’m back enjoying life to the full. Because it is too damn short.

My friend Chris told me recently ‘If someone a year ago had said that you would be smashing PBs for leg presses you ‘d have never believe them. Odd how life changes!’

Of course I wouldn’t. Who would have thought! A year ago I was struggling with depression. I didn’t want to leave the house. I felt lost and alone.

Life changes because I changed it.

A year later, I’m stronger and healthier, I’ve met incredible humans who I now call my friends, I’ve made beautiful memories, I tried new things and I’m now going on my first ever solo trip in two days!

And I couldn’t be more excited, albeit a bit scared. Which makes me feel even more excited.

On Thursday I had the chance to visit the beautiful, colourful, vibrant Below Bar studios again as a BA (Hons) Fine art student invited me for a chat and a browse around the Fine Art studio. A post on that coming soon but what inspired me most about Andy was his love of Art and what he does. It may have taken him 30 odd years, since life is never easy and he had to work from a young age providing for his family, but he is finally now chasing his dream of becoming an artist.

A shining, bright example that is never late to chase your dreams. Just remember to live life to the full and enjoy every moment you can in the meantime…

I may not know what I really want to do with my life yet, since I love more than one things, writing, food, mental health, events management, staff development, marketing, drawing, anything to do with people, music although If I could make a living writing about food whilst travelling I’d go right now, but I know it will never be late to chase my dreams.

Namaste

Eleni

Blogmas day 7- Wind and Rain. And Christmas shopping

Today didn’t start very well.

Disrupted sleep, bizarre dreams. And I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. My legs ached. A lot.

But I gathered up all my strength, got ready and got out of the flat. It was windy and it rained pretty badly but I snuggled up to my shawl, crawled down the stairs and opened up my already half broken umbrella.

It did nothing. The wind was so strong the umbrella completely broke on my way to work, my hair was ruined and looked as if I came out of a 60s movie all day and my already battered legs got soaking wet.

Not a good start. Fortunately at lunchtime the rain stopped so I made my final Christmas shopping purchases i.e. wrapping paper, gift tags and Christmas cards and a new umbrella!

On my way home I normally walk through Bedford Place, living in the area and all and I expected it to be busy with all the festivities planned but it was pretty quiet. The only Christmas related event was three lovely ladies dressed up as elves giving out free sports massage vouchers. Not sure if I missed it….

I’m about to go to my first viewing now. I’m feeling a little nervous. I don’t know what to ask, what to observe since I’ve never done this before. How do you decide if you want to live with a complete stranger assuming he would want to live with me? It will be an interesting experience either way.

After that is time for some Christmas gift wrapping.

Here’s to Friday! I’m already exhausted but I can’t wait for the weekend. It’s going to be an awesome one.

Namaste

Eleni

Blogmas day 6- Legs and decs

I’m currently sitting on my sofa, legs stretched out. I can barely feel them, but I can definitely feel the pain when I have to climb even the smallest step. I’m sure strangers on the street noticed my funny walk on the way home as I couldn’t bend my knees. I had a laugh looking at the expression on their faces.

I just came home after my PT session. On Monday after all the fun, cheese and mulled cider I couldn’t possibly exercise afterwards. Well I could, but I would have probably thrown up. I’m glad I re-scheduled it for today! I was tempted to re-arrange again because I had an unbelievable amount of chocolate the last two days that made me feel really heavy and sleepy after the sugar rush and I got sore throat but I knew I shouldn’t.

It was a tough session but I’m proud of myself for making it until the end. I can’t believe I managed to push 59 kg with my legs, that’s heavier than myself!!! Apparently some have already dropped out, but I’m determined not to. Fingers crossed. Sam is such a great trainer, he pushes me when he has to but he swiftly moves to another exercise when I struggle. Having the gym to ourselves with my own music on makes such a difference!

At lunchtime I got some desk Christmas decs. The miniature Christmas tree looks perfect next to my miniature Elsa (I still love Kinder eggs, hence all the random toys on my desk).

Sheba managed to find two advent calendars for herself and me yesterday and I’m really happy we can keep our annual tradition going, even for the last time!

I spent a lot of time on Spareroom over the last couple of days. It’s unbelievably difficult to make a decision but going for my first viewing tomorrow…

But first… I can’t wait for the Christmas Spectacular at Bedford Place.

Now time for dinner, rest and music. Today I’ve discovered this beauty that hit home, Forgotten How to Fly by Clay. I fall in love with music over and over every single day… I’ll leave you with that.

Namaste

Eleni

My first In Balance Hot Yoga experience

About a month ago at the Networking and Breakfast event organised by Women Who Do I met Benedita, who recently moved to Southampton and gave up her career in hotel management to start In Balance Hot Yoga.

Since I discovered and fell in love with Yoga, I can’t stop talking about it so I was instantly drawn to Bene and we started chatting.

A couple of weeks ago I met Bene and her partner Ian for a coffee to learn more about them and what they do and I absolutely loved them.

Bene is originally from Portugal and she worked in London for years. She fell in love with yoga after going to a hot yoga class and she loved it so much she trained, as well as her partner Ian, under Dylan Ayaloo, the Founder of Hot Power Yoga in London, who I really want to meet after everything Bene and Ian told me about him. Yoga and her teacher training guided Bene through self-discovery and reaching a higher level of self-awareness, exactly what she needed at that point in her life. It seems that’s how most people fall in love with yoga, it comes in their life when they need it the most.

She started teaching yoga part-time alongside her full-time job and she realised that’s what she wanted to do for a living. After she moved to Southampton to work as a general manager at a local hotel, she decided it was time to chase her dream. She quit her job and herself and Ian started In Balance Hot Yoga. They run classes every day and regular workshops at the top floor of one of my favourite places in Southampton, Harbour Lights, overlooking the marina.

My bestie, Sheba went to a session a while ago and she messaged me afterwards saying ‘Just finished the hot yoga class, it was incredible!’, so after meeting Bene and Ian, who asked me to try it and blog about it in exchange for free classes, of course I said yes. I really wanted to try it anyway and I would have blogged about it even if they hadn’t offer me free classes.

I only blog about things I’m passionate about and I really want to and yoga is now part of my life and one of the very few things I do daily.

So last Saturday Sheba and I booked ourselves at the 11am beginners class. We decided to walk there as the route to Harbour Lights is beautiful, through the city centre parks, Oxford street and Ocean Village. I forgot how beautiful, charming and peaceful this part of the town is.

As soon I walked in the room, I felt the heat in every part of my body and memories flooded in. It reminded me of home on a hot summer day, during a power cut, sitting in the living room sweating, waiting for the power to come back on so we can turn the air-con on but in the meantime using whatever we can as a fan.

I just loved the heat. I’ve been living in the UK for 9 years now and I still miss the sun and the heat.

It also smelled amazing thanks to the burning incense sticks, which makes a huge difference, if like me, scents make you fall in love with a place and enhance your experiences.

The actual class was amazing. Bene is a hands-on instructor, helping you correct the poses if you don’t get them right and her voice is calming and smooth. For me the yoga instructor is the most important, essential element of a yoga practice, they are the ones guiding the session and to enjoy and fully embrace yoga, you need to find a teacher who inspires you and Bene is a truly inspirational human.

We started and ended the session with three oms which I found deeply spiritual and beautiful and we went through most of the main yoga poses through a vinyasa flow, fast-paced and empowering.

I smiled when Bene mentioned how our balance on the mat reflects what’s going in our lives. It is 100% absolutely true. When my balance is off is because my mind is troubled and I worry or I’m sad about things. Give it a go. Stand on one foot and check your balance and take a minute to look inwards and acknowledge your feelings in that moment.

The last pose before Shavasana was the fish pose which is becoming one of my favourite. It reminded me of when I was a child lying on the sofa upside down, feet up, my head touching the floor, feeling the blood flow through my head. I still sometimes do it…

Throughout the class random memories kept coming up, the heat reminded me of home so much my mind immediately went there, hot summer days, at home, at the beach, with family, with my friends. I felt relaxed, calm, happy, during and after the session.

I’m definitely going back again. Who knows what will happen next time?

One the reasons I love yoga, other than the physical benefits is how it helps me discover myself in ways I’d never imagine, and I learn something new every time. I’m still on the early days of my self-exploration journey and so far it’s been amazing.

After our yoga class, we passed by No4 cafe and wine bar on Canute Road. Shebz always wanted to try it so we decided to be spontaneous and treat ourselves to brunch. Delicious!

We then wandered into town, popping into one of my favourite shops, Rice-up, a local wholefood independent grocery shop in the city centre. I love their choice of tea, herbs, spices and nuts, my favourite isles to browse!

What a beautiful day it was. Thank you Bene for making it incredible. I can’t wait for my next session! If you decide to give it a go, come and say hi, I’d love to meet you 🙂

I’m always fascinated by how others get into yoga, you can read my story here, share yours in the comments below if you want to!

Namaste

Eleni

Yoga Tuesday

Today was emotional.

I have just finished my last session of my 31 day yoga revolution with Adriene Mishler. I started crying even before it started.

I can’t believe it’s been a month already.

It feels like yesterday I reluctantly decided to give it a go.

I never in a million years thought I’d stick to it, let alone I’d actually look forward to getting back on my mat every single day. It’s been the highlight of my day for the last month.

I’ve written all about it recently if you want to find out more.

Today is all about what I learned from it, besides strengthening my body, my balance, my posture. Besides the physical benefits of it.

I learned how to be aware, present in the moment.

I learned how to let all my worries and negative thoughts fly away whilst I concentrate on my breathing and my inner smile.

I learned to be more mindful and confident.

Above all I learned to love and care for myself. I learned to trust myself.

I feel I’ve grown so much within the last month, more I’ve grown over the last couple of years.

Yoga will always now be part of my life. And it’s all because of Adriene. I’ve been to yoga and pilates classes before but never grabbed me enough to keep going.

But Adriene with her wicked sense of humour, spontaneous singing, calmness and genuine love for what she does showed me the way.

Adriene, if you happen to read this, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I felt, as I’m sure thousands of people who have followed your yoga revolution programme have, the love and care you put into this.

I feel grateful, blessed and privileged I’ve been on this journey with you.

Namaste

Eleni

I relapsed, now what?

Happy sunny Sunday!

I just came back from a run and I feel great. I love the high, my body flooding with adrenaline and endorphin.

I sometimes exercise at home and as you might know, I’ve been doing Yoga every day for the last 20 days and I love it. I’ve recently posted about it if you want to know more. You can have a read here.

Yoga relaxes me, I feel more confident and has already taught me a lot on how to love and take care of myself. But I need cardio in my life. I need the high and I desperate want to improve my stamina and strength.

I love Zumba and dancing. I can’t afford either right now, and when it comes to dancing, there are not many options in town (if you know of any do let me know!).

I love running. I know it’s not for everyone. For me, putting on music (I highly recommend the personal running mix on Spotify, it picks up your tempo first and selects songs based on your pace and the music you love), looking around, enjoying the moment (and often stopping to take a photo to remember that moment) the air on my face, my heart beating fast, is one of the best feelings in the world.

But I don’t go running that often. I often come back from work tired, hungry and I struggle to find the motivation to get out and go running or do any form of exercise.

So I often relapse. As I do with most things.

I eat healthy most of the time but I can’t resist a treat and LOVE a pizza on a Friday.

Some days I struggle to stay positive and I let myself become sad and depressed. And some days I feel like doing nothing at all.

But I promised myself that every time I relapse, I need to get back on it. And since then I feel much better. Because I know a moment or a day of weakness doesn’t mean I should let myself go, I should not give up.

Coincidentally, I recently came across relapse management in a book I’ve been reading on CBT, An introduction to Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Skills and Applications (Westbrook D. et al, 2007). It’s a heavy read at times but very educational.

Relapse management is such a vital skill for everyone to develop. Not only in therapy but in daily life. The book suggests to ask yourself the following every time you relapse:

How can I make sense of this?
What have I learnt from it?
With hindsight, what would I do differently?

In this way, you learn more about your vulnerabilities, weaknesses, yourself and also gives you a plan, so after each set-back you can still get back on it and reduce the chances of relapsing again.

So that’s my message for today!

Relapsing of any form does not mean giving up or starting from scratch.

Relapsing means you are a human being and if you look at it as a chance to learn more about yourself and improve your mental and physical wellbeing, you’ll feel much happier and confident.

Amen 🙂

Eleni