Why International Women’s Day is Important.

Why is International Women’s Day important?

For the same reasons Pride and Black Lives Matter are important. Because gender, racial and any other discrimination shouldn’t exist in the 21st century, your sexual orientation, gender and skin colour shouldn’t define your ability or right to do anything.

Because women still get paid less, are expected to marry and have a family and put that above anything else.

Because women are still considered ‘property’ of the man in some countries and are punished for getting raped.

Because old white men decide whether a woman should be ‘allowed’ to have an abortion.

Because although women fought hard to be given the right to vote, there are hardly any women who make it into politics (for obvious reasons).

Because a woman although considered ‘weak’ ironically has to try harder to prove that she can do the same job as a man. Doesn’t that make her stronger?

Because posting a photo of her in clothes she likes regardless of how ‘sexy’ they are considered or even sometimes posting a photo of her smiling somehow gives a man the right to harass her.

Because it takes years of hard work, self-love and self awareness for a woman to feel confident and strong enough to be who she is, with no fear. Because even today, employers would hire or promote a man, even though a female candidate with more qualifications and experience has also applied for the same position.

Because being sensitive and expressing your feelings is considered a weakness and ‘womanly’.

Because a woman for some reason has to justify her choices and if she acts like a ‘man’ is considered a slut, but if a man behaves the same way, ‘that’s just how he is’.

And the list goes on…

Living in a white male dominated world is tough, but women across the world will keep fighting for what’s theirs until racist, deeply embedded in the society patriarchy finally diminishes.

Here’s to all women across the world who never give up, here’s to those who suffer in silence because they are terrified, here’s to those who wake up every morning looking after their children, here’s to those who stay in bed because that’s what they want to do, here’s to all of us, regardless of our life choices.

It took me years to feel confident enough to be able to believe in myself. I was in a long term relationship in which I was told I wasn’t slim enough, educated enough, hell even good enough to write a blog. But I’ll never let any man or anyone else make me feel this way ever again, because I’ve always been a strong, confident, independent woman.

It just took me years to realise and I hope by posting this it will help women across the world realise it faster and not waste time, pain and tears.Here’s to women.

May we keep fighting and conquering the world, a little bit at a time, with a smile or tears in our face, it doesn’t and shouldn’t matter. #internationalwomensday



Why we need International Women’s Day

For myself and thousands of women, every day is International Women’s Day.

Every day, sometimes small things e.g. being stared at or wolf-whistled because you wore a beautiful dress you love and sometimes bigger things your colleague gets the promotion you deserve more than him but he apparently is ‘more confident’, remind women across the world why we need to celebrate International Women’s Day.

Why? Because although we achieved a lot compared to 100 years ago, there’s still so much more to fight for.

There are still women who are treated as objects, sold, abused, forced to get married from the tender age of 12, when they are still children, there are still women who are stoned or beaten to death because they dared to ‘look’ at another man, or even for being raped.

In more privileged societies such as the one I live in, we still have a lot to fight for too.

We are still considered ‘weak’ in a million different ways just because we are strong enough to show we have feelings and emotions and brave enough to be vulnerable, because we are all humans. But society still considers that a weakness. How sad.

We are still seen as ‘sluts’ instead of the male equivalent of ‘players’ if every now and then we need and want to satisfy our sexual needs.

It’s still incredibly uncomfortable for most men to listen to women talk about something natural like giving birth or their period but it’s OK for women to put up with sexist and racist jokes.

The majority of CEOS, pilots, comedians, police officers, doctors and so many other occupations it’s still men. Yes, we made progress but even in our day and age there’s blunt and obvious discrimination against women.

Also, women are still in most societies, expected to give birth and look after their children and if they chose not to do so, not compromise, ‘there’s something wrong with them’.

We are made to feel inadequate if we don’t look ‘pretty’ and are forced to work on our ‘imperfections’ but if we make an effort we are too ‘girly’ and ‘soft’. For men appearance doesn’t even affect their career prospects or their life in general.

I won’t even mention equal pay. There’s A LOT of work to be done there too.

Why is this still happening? Well, mostly because of society. We still live in a male-dominated society that teach us since we are young that we are not as strong or capable and for women to follow their dreams they have to fight harder and ignore all the abuse and discrimination thrown in their path.

We have to fight harder to get that promotion, to earn more money, to be seen as capable as men and to achieve that we have to first be considered ‘crazy’ and ‘wild’. We have to break the barriers if we want to see significant change and we have to try a hundred times harder than a man. That’s the sad reality.

When the first suffragettes protested and demanded the right to vote, they were ridiculed and arrested. They were ‘insane’, how dare they demand equal political rights? And this is only one example.

Being a feminist is not about not shaving or not letting a man help you your groceries, or being seemed as equal to men. We are not equal, we are different. But is about being offered equal opportunities and equally represented in conferences, festivals, courts, the Parliament.

So here’s to all women, famous and not famous who changed the world.

To all women who fight against discrimination every single day, to every day heroes, our mums, grandmothers, sisters, friends, colleagues, to us. We are awesome.

Please don’t give up the fight, even when society deems you ‘crazy’ or ‘too emotional’ or ‘not confident enough’, keep going, that’s how we’ll change this.

Happy International Women’s Day.

PS I’m not on my period. I’m just passionate about this.


The Guilty Feminist

Also, wondering if you’d like to go to this with me…https://www.facebook.com/events/1643765342395990/ I listen to the podcast and it’s really good and I thought it might be up your street. Lucy messaged.

I had a quick look and I was intrigued. I didn’t look it up beforehand. I wanted to see whether I’d enjoy it without knowing much about it.

A couple of months later, 22nd of May, 2019

After delicious dinner at Soleto’s, which was mainly occupied (except our friend Dan and the chef) by women who were about to watch the show, we headed to the theatre, again mainly women. It felt surprisingly, unexpectedly empowering to be amongst so many women.

Three hours later, we left the theatre with a smile on our face, happy, re-enacting some of the funny moments whilst pondering on what true feminism is and how still to the day there’s so much discrimination, even in small, little things we barely notice.

Deborah Frances-White, comedian and hostess of the show and her guests for the evening Bridget Christie, Desiree Burch, Sophie Duker and Grace Petrie were amazing. I couldn’t stop laughing with Bridget, Desiree and Sophie’s comedy on dating in your 40s, bi-sexuality, racism and many other hot topics that women get grief on.

I loved Grace Petrie’s political folk songs and what an excellent idea of Deborah’s to introduce two local charities who spoke to us about the incredible work they do, Yellowdoor supporting and preventing domestic and sexual abuse and Chrysalis supporting transgender people and their significant others.

I’m now already a big fan of Deborah. Funny, witty, intelligent, charismatic (someone I met recently called me charismatic and I burst out laughing, I never thought of myself as charismatic). The following day I watched her Tedx talk from a few years ago and that blew my mind.

I already started listening to her podcast (you can listen here or look up Guilty Feminist on Spotify, it’s Deborah with guests discussing feminism in the modern world and of course it’s thought-provoking, inspiring and hilarious) and bought her book.

If only there were more women like Deborah. No wait, there are. Everywhere. You and me and many others say no to what (mainly male dominated) society dictates every day by not getting married or having children just for the sake of it, we refuse to get into an unhappy, unfulfilling relationship because if you are single it means ‘something is wrong with you’, we follow our dreams even if that means being the only female colleague in that engineering company, we do what we think is right for us, we have sex for fun and not just to please someone else, we don’t need make up and toned bodies to make us feel good about ourselves but we wear or not wear make up and exercise or not for ourselves.

Feminism is not about not shaving (unless that’s what you genuinely like) or being a lesbian or not letting a man help you put together a coffee table or feeling guilty you love face creams and rom-coms. It’s about all of the things I mentioned above, not conforming to man-made society norms, be whoever you want to be without stupid gender restrictions and many more, like not letting an unwanted dick pic or a wolf whistle or groping become socially acceptable.

Start your own business, do what you love for a living without feeling guilty for not just being a parent or wife or partner or daughter or sister . You can be all of these but above all you need to be yourself, love yourself, look after you.

A Facebook friend, ex- colleague who I rarely chat with (we all have a few of those on our friends list) recently messaged me to say that he loves my feminist social media. I thanked him, though I never considered my opinions as feminist, until I went to Deborah’s show. Then I understood what he meant.

So here’s to all inspiring women, our mums, sisters, friends, strangers who we admire, ourselves and those in the limelight, all of the feminist advocates.

Thank you Lucy for introducing me to this great community. I’ll miss you!