Will we ever go back to ‘normal’? And what can we learn from people with autism?

Sunday, Easter Day.

Day 35 of lockdown.

Happy Easter. I was supposed to be in Vienna today with my little sister, but I spent most of the day with Charlotte Bronte and Jane Eyre. I was so enchanted by it, I could barely let the book down. I’m not happy about this turn of events, but I’m not miserable either. I guess I’m now more used to spending endless time by myself.

I’ve been pondering for a while about the situation we are in and how our brain copes with it.

We humans have two fundamental characteristics that are perhaps in conflict in some aspects right now. We are creatures of habit, apparently it takes 30 days to form a habit and we are also social creatures.

The lockdown put us into social isolation, yes we face time and text but we don’t hug each other, touch each other, walk together, comfort one another, so at the moment we form habits that perhaps are not healthy to have when this is all over. We socialise and interact differently don’t we?

So my question is, when this is all over, how easy will it be to go back to our previous life? Will we ever go back to whatever ‘normal’ was? Can these new habits be useful in the new normal or will this experience leave us with issues we won’t necessarily know how to deal with or fears we can’t shake off or will our innate social ‘insticts’ kick in?

I posed the very same question to my friends. Some seem to think that as soon as we are let out (which I’m sure it will happen gradually, no country will risk another wave of infections) we’ll be back to our old selves straight away.

Others think that will not be the case, which I tend to agree with. I personally believe we’ll never go back to ‘normal’ the way it was. We will initially be scared of human interaction, shopping, being outside, we might not even crave going outside, since we are now used to keeping ourselves entertained indoors, but at some point our social nature will prevail, and though initially we’ll appreciate every moment we’ll then get used to our new reality again and get close to what ‘normal’ was.

But I don’t think we’ll ever go back to how we used to live. Fear never really goes away. We’ve all been traumatised but also formed new habits, learned to live with less of everything and by we I mean the whole world, how incredible it is that the whole planet is going through the same situation all at once, so we’ll all deep inside have this experience affecting our lives for ever and we hopefully learned a few things about ourselves and our future.

But this experience is not the same for all of us, for some it’s not as challenging or even difficult.

I had a chat with my friend Claire about this, who’s been diagnosed with autism a couple of years ago and I found it incredibly fascinating how her amazing brain which is wired differently to most is coping with this. I asked her if I could send her a few questions and here it’s what she said. I’ve learned a lot from reading it and I think you will too.

1. For those who might know enough if anything about autism and it’s different aspects how would you describe it and how is it for you?

Autism is hard to explain because it is vast and complex (as is everything brain related.) Autism is a neurodevelopmental difference in the way the brain functions. You can’t see my brain functioning, but it affects nearly everything about me. My personality, my sensory experience of the world, my memory, my development, the way I communicate, how I think, how I move.

There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with autism but, because we are the minority our condition is classed as a disability. But that’s just because the social world doesn’t accommodate us yet.

2. How are you coping with lockdown?

Adapting suddenly (well, inventing from scratch) a new routine – making it intricate enough to curb the anxiety of ‘empty’ minutes – was challenging beyond words. But now I am coping very well. The social world, and it’s uncertainty and misunderstanding, is overwhelming for someone like me, and therefore I am a regular self-isolator!

It takes a lot of conscious energy to be around other people. This is partly because I have to ‘mask’ a social and communication disorder, and partly because the worry about what other people think about my ways and responses to our shared world, is draining. People people people. This is not the same as being antisocial though. I love my friends and I value people very much indeed. I’d want to be the one to help someone in a crisis and I’d be the first one to support their projects and celebrate their victories. But the rules of conversations and spontaneous social times are far from natural to me.

3. How is it different for you?

In order to socialise and communicate with a person I need there to be a very clear purpose and for the words spoken to be clear and direct. Even then, I process information and conversation much more slowly than other people because I can’t filter out environmental distractions and because I need to physically see things to understand them. I’m often tired by this (and the subsequent shame) so I need to isolate to get my energy back. This means I very often feel lonely and separated from the rest of society.

Right now EVERYONE is in isolation, and for many active, extroverted, sociable autistics, and especially the non-autistic community, they maybe feeling this type of uncertainty and separateness for the first time. People are inventing ways to stay in touch although they’re not together (like online quizzes and things) and these online social events are accessible for autistics too!

I hope these continue forever, because, it means those who struggle socially can still participate in the fun activity and not worry about the social element – therefore being less lonely.

4. What advice would you give to others? Any tips from your experience?

Generally speaking, non autistic people prioritise communicating and socialising with others, whereas, autistic people prioritise the environment, detail and solitary hobbies and projects. Non-autistic people are sort of being forced to experience the world from the perspective of an autistic person for the first time (they’re just avoiding a virus instead of the social/communication etc.) So, with that in mind, I would advise the following.

Yes… socialising and communicating are valuable to most people, I completely empathise, but when doing those things you miss so much. Now is a chance to focus in on the environment, the detail in rooms and objects, and intricate, time-consuming, all-encompassing hobbies, interests, projects, learning. Not for the purpose of working, or competing or recording, but just for pleasure.

If you think you can’t do it because you have children, let it be your project to encourage THEM to investigate the environment, the detail, the comfort of a new special interest. If you find a nice flower, look at it closer. If you see something interesting, look at it for longer than you normally would, and from all different perspectives. If you smell something lovely, savour and memorise it. If you read an interesting article, research more around it, that kind of thing.

People are starting to do it… they’re posting things about the beautiful places they live near, the weird things they’ve got in their house and they are sharing nature, art and ideas. This should become a habit beyond isolation. Look at things more intricately than you thought possible and awaken a quest for knowledge about those tiny details… then you will begin to experience an autistic-like joy. There is so much joy in the ‘little’ things – and you know … you’ve all got each other again when it’s all over.

Thank you Claire for such an informative and insightful interview!



What a summer it’s been…(lesson learnt: #nomoremissnicegirl )

Usually my posts have a positive, optimistic tone, but this one does not, well most of it doesn’t. But life is not always full of roses and you can’t always be nice.

It’s been a while since I last posted… I promised to myself I will only post when I feel like it, as the only purpose of this blog is to share lessons I learned worth sharing with everyone… I  felt the need to post a couple of times but when sharing through my blog or other social media that are public means everyone in the whole wide world can read and some things I only want to share with friends (that’s what’s FB for).

But anyway… after the bank holiday, summer is officially over!

It’s been one of the best summers I had in years…  or maybe ever… A big, fun, crazy adventure! Celebrations, birthdays, christening, nights in playing the guitar, reading, daydreaming, nights out dancing, crossing a motorway, jumping off a wall and sprinting through a bridge over the Thames, Jason Bourne style, to catch a Shakespeare play under the stars in central London at midnight, the most amazing time back home, sunny days at the beach, sunny lunches and picnics at the park, spending time with friends and family, making new friends, wandering around, music, always music, finding out more about British culture and life in general (thank you Donna!), learning new life skills such as how to jump start a car or change bulbs, lots of fun and laughter…

But summer is over! And it feels like an end of an era!

It’s been challenging at times but I feel better than ever…

And I got my confidence back! A couple of months ago I’d never imagine posting a video of me singing or playing the guitar let alone both (I’m novice at both as you can see if you watched my videos). A friend told me they would never be confident enough to do it and my response was “I wouldn’t either a while ago, but I spent years doubting myself and worrying what others might think. And it was not worth it”. If I want to post a video of me singing a song for my best friend because she had a bad day and I wanted to make her feel better and declare my love and support publicly, but someone doesn’t like it, or doesn’t like me so what? It’s human nature, we can’t and don’t like everything and everyone and not everyone likes us. And it’s OK. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea nor are you.

So here it comes the most important lesson I learnt over the last few months…

A couple of weeks ago I was lying on the grass at the park, had my headphones on, enjoying listening to my music whilst having my lunch in the sunshine and then this guy comes over, gets off his bike and starts chatting to me. I took my headphones off so not to be rude, but it was VERY obvious I’d rather be left alone. I hardly spoke to him or made any eye contact, my answers were short, I didn’t even ask for his name until he was about to leave just out of politeness but he still sat there chatting to me for 15 minutes. It wasn’t even an interesting conversation. In the end I had to say, after he turned the convo where he wanted to and said he was “looking for a partner to drink ouzo with (as if all Greek/Cypriot people only drink ouzo, what a cringy pick up line, don’t ever use that on Cypriots, it doesn’t work!)” that I was not looking for an “ouzo-drinking” partner.

He wasn’t rude but he should have left me alone. It was OBVIOUS I was not interested. And it spoilt my lunch, it spoilt my ‘me’ time enjoying the sunshine and the music and watching people, making up crazy, fun stories about them, it just spoilt the moment.

After that and other incidents recently (worse than the one I mentioned above), which I cringe even thinking about so I won’t mention, I decided I won’t take anything from anyone anymore even if it means being rude, which I hate doing but it’s sometimes necessary.

I don’t know if that’s across the whole country but people here are too polite most of the time (not always) to show their annoyance or disagreement and are afraid they might come across as rude or inappropriate if they are honest and say what they really think even when chatting about everyday life issues.

So lesson learnt!! DON’T TOLERATE ANYTHING THAT YOU DON’T LIKE/ ANNOYS/UPSETS YOU.  When someone is being annoying or creepy tell them off, show it. Just do it. Don’t ask for help or if anyone offers to help you deal with it, just say no and do it yourself. You don’t need anyone to protect you, because you won’t always have someone to do that, learn to deal with it yourself, it’s a basic, essential life skill!

Don’t get me wrong, I hate moaning and I’m nice, friendly and polite most of the time but there are limits.

I live on my own, I have no family close by and when things break or I accidentally hurt myself-all the time-(accident proneness/string of bad luck whatever it is the result is the same) or I get ill or run out of milk or money, I’m the only one responsible and the only one who can help myself (yeah I don’t like asking for help either, I am too proud!). So I won’t take sh** from anyone and I’m not willing to let anything or anyone spoil my moment. I won’t be nice if you are mean to me or sleazy or make a weird comment or you behave inappropriately.

Lesson I learnt again these last 2-3 months: Learn to say NO! Only hang out with people you really want to and do things YOU want to. Life is too short to compromise and waste time on things you don’t really enjoy just to be nice! If you don’t want to reply to that message or go somewhere, then don’t. And don’t feel guilty. Everyone does it! If you feel bad being completely honest (although my advice is just be honest!), make up excuses everyone does and have a universal meaning everyone will get such as: “I’ve been very busy”.

And last lesson for today: “age appropriate” is nonsense (not to confuse with being immature!). I’ve been given valuable advice which I appreciate on how I need to start thinking about my future as I’m getting older and do things people at my age should do like buy a house (and other related “life goals”). But I won’t. I can’t sacrifice my present so I can have a better future which I might, probably not even get to live long enough to enjoy. Sad but true…

The last 8 months have been a big adventure, not a single dull moment and I wouldn’t change that for anything else. I don’t ever want to go back to how my life was a couple of months ago. So I’ll take my chances. I love taking risks and that’s what spices up my life. Who knows what the future holds. I hope mostly nice surprises!

I want to AGAIN thank all of my friends, old and new and my family. You can’t imagine how I appreciate and value the support and love you show me. I love you all so much words can’t even describe and those of you I am far away from now, know that I really miss you and can’t wait to see you again soon (maybe sooner thank you think!).

So that’s what I learned over the last few months. I learned to be feistier and not tolerate anything I shouldn’t. And I got my confidence back.

I am definitely not the person I used to be even a couple of months ago. And I am glad. I’ll never be that weak, scared person ever again. I rarely say “never” but in this case I’m sure. That wasn’t me. That was a person I let others turned me into, but not anymore. I’m never going back to that. If that means I might sometimes come across as rude or cruel or selfish or crazy then let it be.

So here’s to the last 3 months of 2016! A lot of exciting things coming up and I can’t wait! I hope the last few months of this year are amazing for all of us!

PS Love you to the moon and back Shebz!!! I am sure you are having an amazing time but I already missed you very very very much! xxxxx


Love you all! x


A quick message before I go (love and goodbyes)…

Hi all!

God I missed sitting down writing!

I feel emotional right now because I am going home for 2.5 WEEKS!! I haven’t had such a long holiday for a while… And last time I went home for that long I didn’t really want to come back I ended up staying for 3 weeks (thank you again Chris, best manager ever!)!

And this time it will be even more special (most of you know why), I am so excited I might burst!!!!!!!

I feel the need to say goodbye to everyone for some reason…

I am going to miss a LOT of people, a lot of you lovely people reading this at this very moment. My choir families, workplace (Louise, ‘I don’t give a f***’, lol) and SingNow (love you all, Claire ‘badday’ haha xx!), my colleagues (all the fun and laughs, and I know you’ll miss me, it will be too quiet without me around, Donna you are a legend!) and of course my friends, older and people I got to know better lately (don’t forget to smile 🙂 ).  I will miss our daily chats, last minute plans, Sunday Jams, all the fun and laughs… And most of all my partner in crime Shebz! I love you so much hun, I wish I could take you with me! Remember #fakeittillyoumakeit x

I mentioned it a lot of times but I feel incredibly lucky to have amazing people in my life.

For those I haven’t had the chance to  give a cookie-who doesn’t love some chocolate!- and say goodbye in person today, I am sending you a big big hug.

I am closing this post with the song that always marks my visits back home, the song which always reminds me of the Cyprus sun, culture and love, the song I sing with my sisters and friends, the song that I never get bored of, the song I listen to when I wanna feel loved and safe because it reminds me of my special ones, the song I dance to whilst walking to and from home. (I’ve done a quick translation ages ago for non-Greek speakers, because the lyrics are just beautiful- and a friend asked me what the lyrics meant, I remember Jack!) epimoni translation

I can’t wait to experience that feeling of excitement and nervousness when I get to the airport, one of my favourite places!

I am coming home!!!!!!’Ερχομαι!!!!!!!!!

See you all sooner or later!

Love you all! x

How time flies!

I can’t believe is June already! This year is flying by!!!

I finally made some time to post! I have a list of things to do today but I’m glad I managed to sit down and reflect even for a little.

Turning 30 gave me the perfect opportunity to push myself to the limit. Even when I am tired I feel I can’t stay still, I am restless. I want to get out and do things, meet people, spend time with friends, old and new, try new things more often, anything to make me feel alive and enjoy life as much as I possibly can.

So what have I learned this last month or so?

Some things are better kept unsaid! I share a lot with others because I am a very open person but sometimes you need to keep some things for yourself.

The older you get, the more you don’t care about others’ opinion. I was talking to a friend recently who was going to a wedding he really didn’t want to but he felt he had to. Well if it were me, I wouldn’t. I only really care about my friends and family and I am not willing to waste any time on anything I won’t enjoy just because I feel I have to. Life is so much better when you do what YOU want!

Time just flies! I honestly cannot believe is June already! I’ve been living on my own for 5 months ( I must admit I’m not the best example of a responsible adult living on their own, but having fun is more important, right?) although it feels like yesterday when I first moved in. So much has happened in the last couple of months, I  know I’ve mentioned that a lot but I am amazed how many amazing, incredible and sometimes ridiculously talented (talent is sexy!) people I’ve met, how many awesome experiences I had and how my life has changed and is changing even as we speak. Remember, give everyone and everything a chance, it’s incredible how amazing life can be when you are open and spontaneous!!!

I’ve read somewhere recently that ‘sometimes to end a chapter and begin a new, we must read the same lines numerous times over. Be patient. With repetition, comes understanding.  The truth may not surface at first, but at some point it always will’. 

I completely disagree!!! You don’t always get closure and some things will never make sense, no matter what. So my advice is: If you don’t get closure, don’t go through everything over and over again. Complete waste of time. Make up your own story, your own closure, whatever will push you to move on, because honestly, not everything that happen to you or me or anyone will make sense. 

A couple of days ago we were discussing with friends whilst having lunch in the sun how happy we are with our life now, even though we all ‘ve been through s*** situations over the last year. And I am happy we are all happy 🙂 Love you guys!x

I feel the need to thank everyone again (you know who you are!) for all the love and care you show for me, especially this month, I’m so grateful to have you in my life! x

I’ll be soon going home for holidays, catchup, celebrations and then new chapters begin when I’m back for which I am really excited about! (that means I might not be able to blog again until after I’m back, but hey, there are so many things I enjoy doing with my free time, you can’t blame me 😉 )

I’ll leave you with my favourite summer song at the moment! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjOhZZyn30k

Enjoy the summer!

Love you all! xx




What a week! (no2)

Wow, I don’t even know where to start from. This week I’ve learned a lot and had so much fun with Shebz (we must be soulmates, can’t explain it otherwise!) and my awesome friends and tried new things. (You know that feeling I described in detail in my last post? I was very lucky to experience it a lot this week!)

As I mentioned in previous posts, I’d like to keep some of my life personal and cherish some of the amazing moments I live privately but I’ll share with you lovely people what I learned, which is the main reason I started this blog!

Where to start? Well I’ll start with this ( I think I might have mentioned it before, but oh my it’s important!): If you sometimes get this feeling of unsettling which makes you wanna go away right now, move to another country, quit your job, do something stupid or crazy or whatever makes you wanna do, don’t do it! That feeling won’t go away.

I know it’s not easy but you need to deal with it. You need to explore and find what is it that makes you feel that way and when you do, address it! That’s the only way it will go away which brings me nicely to my next point.

One of the ways to do that is to find what makes you happy (I know I must have written about it A LOT but it’s good to remind myself). I found trying new things and saying yes to people and things you wouldn’t normally say yes to doesn’t just make life more interesting but it makes you learn more about yourself, meet new people and end up having lots of fun!!

Some people are happy to go to work, go home and watch TV. If that’s what makes you happy, do that!  That’s not what makes me happy. I guess I want more from life!

Definitely want lots of pizza!

A very important lesson I learned this week is that healing takes time. Getting over a loss such as someone’s death, the end of a relationship or a friendship is not easy and there is no ‘set period’ in which you need to do that.

Annoyingly as humans we tend to push others and ourselves to get over a situation ASAP. Well that doesn’t work. Take your time… Pretending you are over it doesn’t help. You are not only lying to yourself and others but it sets you back and you might also end up hurting other people who don’t deserve it. What you resist persists!!

For me what it seems like a better solution is to accept the fact that you are still in repair, that you are not over it and just keep moving on with life.

We all experienced loss in our life. We all lost loved ones. We all messed up.

I know I did. I lost my grandma, my aunt, friends, the best friend I had for 7 years, a lovely person who cared about me. I hurt people I cared about. What helped me was to take the lessons I’ve learned from my experiences and mistakes and however difficult it can get at times to just keep going.

Nothing can bring my grandma or my aunt back. Nothing I can do right now can bring back into my life the friends I’ve lost. And I completely and utterly accept that.

I found it gets better and better as time goes by and one day in a couple of months or a year or however long it takes I’ll wake up and thinking about my losses or missing the friends who are not longer in my life won’t affect me as much anymore.

What I also found helps a lot when you are having one of those difficult moments when you are thinking of your losses is go to your happy thought. I have many but I definitely have one that makes me chuckle and remember how beautiful life is every single time!

I can go on for hours but I don’t want to make this post even longer so last lesson for today: do not rush love!

I don’t know about you, but for people, especially at my age there is a lot of pressure to ‘couple up’.

Being single can be amazing! You are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want with whoever you want!

Yes, sometimes you want someone to cuddle up and feel the love and affection, but being with someone just for that, is not worth it, believe me. Wake up next to someone special to you, don’t accept mediocrity. Be with someone because you are in love, not because you feel lonely.

As the dreamer I am, I believe that one day I’ll find someone who will be up for the ideas I come up with, love me for who I am even when I am having a bad day, go crazy for each other, be spontaneous and have lots of fun together!


One of the pros of getting older and going through relationships is that you learn what you really want in a relationship. And now that I know what I really want, I won’t settle with anything else. Life is too short to waste time!

So for now I just enjoy life with my lovely friends! I already have amazing plans for next week. I can’t wait!!!

I’ll finish my post with a quote (you know by now that I love them)

“It’s impossible” said pride. “It’s risky” said experience. “It’s pointless” said reason. “Give it a try” whispered the HEART.

Enjoy the weekend!

Love you all! x



What a week!

Last week has been amazing! I haven’t felt THAT happy for months. I can’t share everything that happened but these are some of the highlights!

I will start with something I’ve been meaning to share for a while… after a selection evening and interviewing, I have now been offered a place on intense training to become a Samaritans listening volunteer and I can’t even describe how happy I am!

I always wanted to volunteer and I could have tried anything, but there is something about the Samaritans and the work they do that always captivated me… being there for someone who needs you at that very moment, just listen to what they have to say, take some of the weight off their shoulders… I hope the training goes well and be able to help others.

In other news, on Saturday I got to perform in front of about 400 people as part of One Sound, which was a collaborative performance with choirs across Southampton, Fareham and Bournemouth ran by the awesome Dan and Jack and it was absolutely amazing! I feel so happy and proud to have been part of this. I’d never imagined last December when I watched LoveSoul choir perform for the first time that in a couple of months I’d get to sing with them!

An evening of singing with a professional choir and some of my favourite people, what a way to spend a Saturday night! I love my choir family! 🙂

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Most of you have already seen many videos and photos from the evening but here is one of the last songs we all got to perform together (thank you to the lovely lady who recorded it and posted it on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrMl1sFSgtA).

I’d also like to share a short essay my 11 year old nephew written about my aunt, his grandma last week. I’ve done a quick translation as well for non-Greek speakers…


It’s touching and amazing and beautiful how an 11 year old, smart and brilliant child summarised his grandma with ‘she always put everyone else above herself, even at the end’. It’s extraordinary that her selflessness even until the end reached her 11 year old grandson’s soul and was felt by everyone…. I truly believe she lives in us. I hope when I die I’d have touched even 1% of the souls she touched with her love, kindness and selflessness…

One of the reasons I’ve started this blog is to share what I learned and it’s comforting to know that whenever is my time to go, I’ll leave something behind for others…

A while ago I posted about what was the last message you sent (post). Well, after reading my nephew’s essay, I just want to say to everyone who reads this, whatever my last message to you was, that I hope you are well and happy and enjoy life. And do what you love!

After a long long time, probably years, I am back to being myself, a dreamer, living on my own pretty planet and I love it, even if it gets me into trouble sometimes! I don’t really know what life has in store for me and I don’t make any long term plans but I know what I want now..

What I want is to experience this feeling, not sure if there is a name to it, a mixture of excitement, happiness and a little nervousness… electrical, almost magical… as often as possible…

And it can be anything!

That feeling when you walk into the door of a place you’ve never been before…when you walk onto the stage about to sing in front of 400 people…and you enjoy every second, when you try something new for the first time… when a song you love comes up on the radio/shop/anywhere and you just wanna sing along and dance..when you help a friend or a stranger and you can see the gratitude in their eyes…when you are about to kiss someone special and you softly touch their cheek (I’m a hopeless romantic, will need a whole new post for that!)… when you board a plane waiting to fly into the sky… when you arrive and can’t wait to get out and explore…when you wander in a city with no worries in the world, exploring its beauties and discovering secret gems… when you buy something pretty and unique and you are about to open that box…when you finally nail that song you’ve been learning on the guitar or finish a drawing and can’t wait to share it with your friends, when something  nice you’d never expected happens-I do love surprises and life is full of them…(these are just some of the things that make my heart go crazy, you know what makes yours 🙂 )

…that feeling your heart beats so fast you can feel it or even hear it…

that feeling when you don’t think of anything else but that moment you experience, when the lights around you switch off, the surroundings fade and you can only see and think of what is there in front of you at that very moment and nothing else, that moment you feel truly alive…

I want to feel this every day if possible… the best feeling in the world!

I’ll close the post with what an old friend used to tell me “You are the boss of you. You can do whatever you want” and it’s true, life’s too short, do what makes you happy and don’t forget to smile!


Love you all! x

PS. Thank you to Rob, Helena and Lesley for the photos! xx

What I’ve learned in the last 10 days…

I realised I haven’t posted for more than a week… I guess I was too busy with life and lost in my own thoughts I haven’t realised how time flew by…

They say you learn something new every day… and it’s true!

What have I learnt over the last 10 days??

Well, the SUN makes everything better,  I love the sunshine and we’ve been lucky enough to have a lot of sunny days recently 🙂


Having a good laugh and making others laugh ALWAYS makes your day better.  Even with silly things you do yourself, and oh dear I do that a lot.

A week ago coming back home from a night out, I parked at the wrong building, I only realised after I got out of my car. I burst into laughing when I had a look at the building and finally noticed it wasn’t were I live!

I’ve learned that you can’t be scared of what’s next and let fear get in your way. Trying things you wouldn’t normally try is amazing, but it’s OK if you don’t like them. At least you gave it a go.

I got to meet cute ducklings thanks to a lovely friend, thank you 🙂

But I also learned, it’s OK if you are not ready. Sometimes and for some situations you will never be ready and you need to push yourself, but sometimes it’s OK to take your time…

I’ve learned that although spending time with your friends, keeping busy and meeting new people always helps, you can’t avoid your own thoughts. You need time for yourself to process everything and be OK with yourself and whatever is happening in your life.

I am one of those people who gives second chances. I don’t know if it’s right or wrong. And why it should be right or wrong? And this week I did it again. I gave someone who I wouldn’t thought I would a second chance, we are now chatting and laughing and you know what? It felt amazing.

So I’ve learned again that forgiving and being nice feels SO much better than hatred. But stay away from people who made it clear they don’t want you in their lives. Respect their decision as people who are not in your life anymore respect your decision to let them go.

And finally I’ve learned that you need to do what is best for yourself, even if that comes across as selfish sometimes. Life goes on so do whatever you need to, you won’t always get closure but that’s OK! 

I promise, it gets better, it always does.

I have a busy week ahead, so I will not be able to post until later next week.

I hope you all have an amazing week and weekend! Mine started well with lots of homemade cake (not by me, I haven’t baked a cake in years!)!

Love you all! x

PS. A heartwarming thank you to the people in my life who care about me and show it in different ways, it makes my little heart melt, you are all very special to me:)

A month of blogging today!

Our one month anniversary! 20 posts in 1 month (including this one), and 900 views. Just amazing. I can’t believe how it’s been a month already since I started this blog!



I’d like to thank everyone who read and has been reading my blog for the last month. I didn’t expect such a response!

And thank you for all your amazing comments (most of them, but all comments were and are welcome), advice, and unexpected support. I still get people coming to me telling me how much they enjoy it! It made it even more special for me.

It’s almost April, how time flies! In less than 2 months I’ll be 30 (I have been recently told I look and act like a ‘young’ and not an ‘old’ 29 year old, which made my day, thank you 🙂 )!

And as I already mentioned, it’s been a month today since I started this blog. One of the best decisions I ever made 🙂

This year has been surreal so far. It started with plans and expectations (although I tried to avoid any long term planning ’cause I know how quickly things can change and they have changed, I am so wise sometimes!) but ended with another reminder that- LOST COUNT OF LESSONS SO I WILL JUST HIGHLIGHT FROM NOW ON- life can change at any minute (so planning is most of the time useless) and that life is much more enjoyable when you have no expectations!

I recently read this amazing article a lovely friend shared on social media about living with no expectations. It’s definitely worth a read!


The last month has been challenging at times (a special thanks again to my friends and colleagues for their amazing support) but probably the most incredible so far.

I won’t get into details because I’d like to keep some of my personal life private but I’ll share what I learned 🙂

A month ago I was disappointed, upset, overreacted to situations and struggled to control my feelings. I’ve said and done things I shouldn’t, I was a mess! (But that’s how we learn, from our mistakes).

A month later, I feel I know myself better and I learned a lot from my experiences and mistakes. I try to enjoy every day as it comes, be open to new experiences and not dwell on ‘what if’.

I had the most amazing week back home which has truly been healing and exactly what I needed. It couldn’t come at a better time. And I can’t wait to go back in the summer!

A tiny part of my hometown

What also helped me immensely is this blog. Writing down and sharing my experiences enabled me to  explore and put my thoughts and feelings in order. It allowed me to clear my mind up and figure out what I really want and what I still need to get over,  which sped up the healing process.

Sharing my experiences and what I learned, just letting it out in the open was a weight off my shoulders. And I am grateful and happy I learned so much more about many of you!

What helped me I’d say, probably the most, is empathy. 

Empathy is an amazing ability, which becomes stronger and stronger the more you practise it. And I’ve practised it a lot for the last couple of years, but even more the last couple of months.

And that’s why I don’t hate anyone. It’s not because I’m a ‘nice’ person.

(ET- sorry, a long one!-I believe the majority of people are not nice or bad, we just behave differently under different circumstances. I don’t think a behavior or a reaction to a situation necessarily determines someone’s personality and I wouldn’t make assumptions and form opinions about people solely based on a bad reaction or an outburst or a lie or someone else’s opinion about them or …

If my sister or a friend has been mean to me, I know they are not mean, it’s just how they reacted to a situation. Why would it be different for any other person who doesn’t happen to be a relative or a friend?)

It’s because I try to understand why people react the way they do. I try to imagine how it felt to be in their shoes, dealing with the situation from their perspective.

I won’t pretend is always easy or successful. Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense. But the more you do it, the better your understanding gets!


SO now what?

Well, life goes on. I tried and I’m trying new things, I got to do things I’d never imagine, I’ve made new friends, I came closer with people I didn’t expect (see that’s why it’s much better if you don’t have any expectations), I added so many happy and funny moments to my memory bank, and have some news I’d like to keep for myself for now, but can’t wait to share if all goes well. 🙂

The most important lesson is to live in the moment. And I do it most of the time.

Smile at a stranger on the street, notice the surroundings (I was impressed with how many things I never noticed on my way to work or when leaving a friend’s house until recently. Focusing on the moment makes such a big difference), chat to the cashier, say yes to whatever comes along, just enjoy the little things. Little things add up and make life better.

Life is beautiful.

But we are only humans and common sense and feelings don’t always follow or listen to each other. And the mind sometimes wanders and loses its focus from the moment.

Well, time is the best medicine! Feelings don’t always go away easily (sometimes they never do) but they go away eventually (or you learn to live with them) and it gets better, it always does!

And I now know I’ll get it right next time and it will be amazing! 🙂

Enjoy the long weekend 🙂

Love you all x

What’s the last message you sent?

I have a hyper active brain, which sometimes make it a bit difficult to switch off at night. And also causes to have the weirdest dreams and wake up with random thoughts.

So I woke up today with this thought:

What’s the last message or last memory you have of people in your life? And if you were not to see them or see you again, is that the last message or memory you want to remember them by?

This reminded me of an episode of HIMYM, when Marshall’s dad died unexpectedly. And when he listened to his dad’s last message to him it was a pocket dial. So Marshall got very upset and felt it was very unfair his dad’s last message was just a pocket dial.

But when his dad realised he called him by mistake, he joked about it, then told Marshall that he enjoyed his visit earlier, and finally told him “I love you.” — then immediately asked for his foot cream as his rash had started to act up again.

See, that’s a beautiful last message.

For most of the people I thought about the last memory is a happy or funny one, and the last message might have been silly but sweet.

But not for everyone that came up to my mind.

So from now on, I’ll make sure that will not happen again.

Enjoy the sunshine! Love you all x

Do this simple exercise…

I recently had an amazing experience I can’t fully share for various reasons.

But I’ll ask you to think… if you could choose three things, any three things, group of people, concepts, objects, activities, anything that you can’t live withoutwhat would these three things be?

Now… try and put them in order from the least to most important…

And now imagine if you lost the thirst most important?

The second most important??

The most important???

How would you feel??

That’s how hundreds of thousands of people who have lost some or everything in life feel right now. It makes you think doesn’t it?

These are my three:

3. Friends. I absolutely adore my friends. They are amazing human beings who I can’t live without. They’ve been there for me at my best and worst and I’ve been at their best and worst. I love you all. I feel lucky to have you in my life.

2. Family. What more can I say. I love my family to death. I’ve been blessed to have an incredible family, close and extended and I’d be devastated if anything was to happen to them.

1. Love. Love of my family, my friends. Love for what I do every day. Love for people. Love for life.  Just love.

I feel incredibly lucky and blessed to have all three.

This simple exercise reminded me not to be judgemental. You never know what others are going through.

It reminded me not to take anything for granted and appreciate life more….

I hope it has done the same for you.

Love you all x