Thought of the Day- Growing Older

I woke up thinking of my excruciatingly painful contrasting feelings on growing old-er (I find it fascinating I often think about how I feel). I’ve been pondering for months now, but lately I often feel I’m trapped in a glass box watching my own life go by and all I want to do is shout STOP! whilst I try and make sense of it.

One minute, I love it. I care less if at all about the less important things in life and I feel comfortable in my own skin. I love myself (most of the time) and I worked hard on that. I used to hate taking a selfie only a few years ago, every time I looked at it I just stared at my imperfections, my mistakes, my failures. Now, I don’t mind. I actually love following my trip of self exploration, and I live a life that is almost completely up to me on what direction it can take (that’s a whole other story).

And for those who keep asking and asking. I don’t need a man to be happy. Your happiness doesn’t and should never depend on anyone else other than you. I will only get in a relationship again when and if I meet someone who makes me feel like it.

I feel lucky I was born and raised in the non-social media era so I find it easy to not allow them to dictate my happiness, which is tough for youngest generations I feel. Although I love Social Media, with its pros and cons, I don’t feel the need I have to be active on them every day and I go through phases I don’t check or post anything. That’s not the real world after all.

But there are a few more downfalls than just a few wrinkles that comes with getting older. I watch and/or check the news every day (a clear sign of getting older). Yes. I became that person who understands politics (only just) and how it affects the world, which is so so sad because the more I know the worse I feel.

Everything feels scarier. Taking risks suddenly feels harder. I’ve become more cynical and less trusting, and sadly I’m proven right most of the time.

And the worst feeling that comes with it. The saddest realisation of all, life is too damn short. More often people I know die. I grow older every single day and I’m running out of time. There’s so much I want to do and there’s not enough time. That’s my greatest struggle right now. Accepting the fact that I’m running out of time and I need to get out of my tiny little head and take risks. Do more of the things I enjoy, try new things and get out of this stupid comfort zone. Feel the adrenaline. Feel my heart beat loud and fast, not because of anxiety, but of pure excitement.

This is just a tiny sample of the differing strickingly feelings that come with growing old.

So, kids, aunty Eleni’s advice (with a little help from a Twitter friend): Be brave, get out, try things and don’t worry. And don’t be scared to ask for help.

Oh and here’s my 10 year challenge. A then care-free happy 22 year old girl (the picture was taken on a small, then fashionable digital camera) and a now ‘mature grown up’ woman.

Eleni

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A milestone. The end of an era. A new beginning.

It’s June. It’s finally June.

For some is insignificant. Another day, another month.

For others, a milestone. The end of an era. A new beginning.

It’s not just another day or just another month. A moment I’ve been waiting for a year and a half. A moment I thought may never come.

Today I repaid my loan. A weight I’ve been carrying for a year and a half, a weight that’s been pulling me down, forcefully keeping me firmly on the ground against my will since I decided that I have to get rid of my credit card and turn it into a loan if I’ll ever be debt free.

And the reason I’ve had to sacrifice living on my own, which I dearly, painfully miss every single day for the last 5 months. But not for long.

Earlier today…

I just woke up and I’m acutely aware I have to get out of bed and get ready for work. But I’m struggling.

Weird dreams, night sweats, stomach aching (God damn you Malbec, I love you but the next day is never fun), lack of sleep. No wonder I can’t move. No wonder I’m still in bed.

‘That I won’t know where I’m going, if I don’t know where I am, but I feel more, I feel more… lost’ The Wind and the Wave lyric that’s been haunting me for a while now… and I can’t stop repeating it… over and over.

7:45am and I’m still in bed…

Was I really in Cyprus a month ago? Was I in London two weeks ago? It can’t be. It’s blurry in my head. Distant, beautiful, loving memories. As if they happened months ago.

I can’t get used to it. The new office, the new responsibilities. I’m still helping out, still doing some of the things I used to do. Some people want it all. There and then. They can’t handle it. Some people don’t appreciate how well and efficiently you do your job, because you make it look easy. My fault?

I miss A101. I miss Donna and Linda and Sati and Sophie and Andy and Sarah and Dave, our kitchen chats, our laughs, our daily fun. 

Dave, the best boss and one of the sweetest, friendliest, creative, inspiring humans I’ve ever met is leaving.

Syed, lovely, always polite, considerate, kind- hearted Syed is leaving.

Everyone’s leaving. 

Sheba left, came back and she will be going again soon.

Now I’ll be debt-free I can go anywhere I want. Why am I still here? Should I go? Do I want to go? Where to? Why am I still here? 

Ray died. I saw him a month ago at One Sound. But now I’ll never see him again. I’ll never see his smiley face.

What if my grandpa dies? He is the same age as Ray. Oh my God. I will not cope. I won’t be able to fly home on my own to face this. Why am I thinking this?

Ray died.

Change on top of change, on top of change. I love change. But how do you manage all this change?

I tried to make a new friend. And I failed. I failed. Is it me? Is there is something wrong with me? Am I too loud, too chatty, too annoying? Am I boring? 

Is it them? Can you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped? Should you try harder or give up and let go? 

I miss living on my own. I miss it so much it hurts. I miss it all the time.

13 reasons why. 13 reasons why an intelligent, strong, talented 17 year old decided to take her own life. If only one, just one of her friends had done something differently, she would  have still been with them. What if any of my friends are struggling and I don’t know about it? How will I know? How can I know? I hope they know they can always come to me. They need to know they can come to me for help.

Bullying in  your teens, a trauma you carry with you your whole life. Bullying as an adult, different, but equally painful. Bullying, any form can crush your very soul.

I get why you did it Hannah Baker. Sometimes you feel is the only solution, the only thing that will make the pain stop. I wish you knew you were never alone…

Will I die alone? Maybe I will. It’s very likely. ‘You are too fussy’. I don’t want to die alone.

Why am I thinking all of this?

And why am I thinking all of this in English? Why can’t I do it in Greek? 

STOP!!!

I promise you, you’ll be OK. You got this.

You are doing awesome. You are better than ever. 

I know you feel you were stuck all this time but you’ve been moving. You just didn’t realise my darling. You are now debt-free, you are volunteering for a charity, you are making new friends every day. You’ve been moving all along my dear.

Now get out of bed and call the bank. Repay your loan, get ready for work and go!

Overthinking. My best friend. And worst enemy. Thank God for yoga and my friends, especially Chris, keeping me sane, although I just realised if you are reading this you may think I’m insane.

I’m not. One thing I’m still sure of.

As of today I’m debt free. As of today I’m free to do anything I want. I just need to figure out what it is that I want. Liberating… and terrifying. It makes me smile though…

Namaste

Eleni

 

 

 

You are very much on time

Today I’m not reflecting back on last week.

I weirdly can’t remember much of it. It’s all a blur.  I remember walking home after my hairdresser’s appointment on Monday evening, only to find out the next day that a girl was raped at the very same park I walked through, roughly at the same time I passed by.

I didn’t hear a thing. It was only 6:30pm in the evening. It shouldn’t be dangerous walking through a park with so many people around early in the evening.

I no longer walk through the park at night, most days. Some days I’m angry that women in this day and age are advised not to walk through a park in the afternoon, just to be on the safe side, so I walk through it and I’m ready to fight whoever tries to even touch me.

I remember Mike’s birthday lunch and the fire at Waterstone’s whilst we were at Turtle Bay. How sad to see all the books, all the beautiful books with amazing stories on their pages, all the philosophy, science, literature, fiction books that open up our minds and teach us valuable lessons burnt.

Waterstones

And I remember having delicious pies for lunch on Thursday. This is it. The rest is nonsensical in my brain.

What I vividly remember is waking up one day during the week in tears. I was terrified, panicking. Panicking this year is going so fast, too fast. I cannot believe it’s already March.

I went through a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts. I’ve been contemplating about life a lot this week.

‘Am I good enough?’

‘What should I do next?’

‘What do I really want to do next?’

‘What if I die right now?’

‘What have I achieved in my life so far?’

‘I am running out of time. I’m almost 32, what should I do?’

Excruciatingly painful questions with no simple answers.

And then I remembered. I remembered a video my lovely Lou sent me.

A simple, minute and a half long video going through examples on how people achieve different things at different times. One might have become a CEO when they were 22 and then died a year later whereas someone else became a CEO when they were 50 and lived until their 90. Just an example to show that we all work on our own time zones, some might seem ahead and some might seem behind you, we shouldn’t mock them or envy them. Because we are all running our own race, in our own time, our own time zone.

So simple, yet so powerful. I’m in my own time zone, as you are in yours.

It’s incredibly tough to not compare yourself to others. Society norms dictate and often measure your success on others. But that’s not the case.

I recently finished reading one of the best books I’ve ever read and I would recommend it to anyone and everyone, Emotional Intelligence, why it can matter more than IQ by Daniel Goleman.

I’ve learned a lot from this one book, from the neuroscience behind it to what Emotional Intelligence is to how developing it can benefit yourself, others, the society, the world, but I won’t go into much detail, one must read it to get the full picture.

Emotional Intelligence, recognising your own emotions and managing them effectively, motivating yourself, recognising emotions in others and handling relationships is what can make or break you. Emotional Intelligence in contrast to the highly regarded by many IQ can be cultivated and improved at any age. And it should. It’s vital and essential. It all starts from a very young age. The way your parents raise you up even since you are a toddler affects your whole life but you have the power to change it. It should be taught at school, it should be taught from a young age.

Why? Because when we finally become adults we can cope better in life. We learned how to be good, loving caring humans. We are aware when and why we are happy, upset, angry.  We recognise how others behaviours affect us and how to change that, we know how to treat people truly respectfully without letting prejudices affect us. We are more resilient to social pressure and all of the social rules dictating our lives. We won’t feel the need to measure our success by comparing our lives to others, because we have the emotional intelligence to recognise that’s just emotions and feelings imposed by others. 

What is success anyway? Money, fame, reaching the top of your career ladder?

No, not really. Many have done that and if you ask them years later they all say the same thing. They’d rather have spent more time doing things they love, with the people they love, making memories.

Of course it’s important to love what you do. And I respect people who love their work. But work is not everything and it shouldn’t define us. And not all of us are lucky to be doing what we love for a living.

In one of the first Derren Brown books I read, Derren whilst explaining how he memorises and recalls people’s names, mentions that when he meets people he never asks them what most would ask, what they do for a living, because some might hate their job and what they do doesn’t define who they are, but he instead asks them what they do in their spare time, what their hobbies are, what they love doing, and then associates their name with some of their favourite things. What a great way to remember people’s names!

I’ve met many ‘successful’ people in my life. Most could only talk about their job and their career, understandably because they love it but they couldn’t discuss about anything else. They rarely read any book, they rarely had time, or made time, to go on a holiday or explore another culture, they haven’t listened to music or went to the theatre for months. They couldn’t remember the last time they’ve seen a film, they had no knowledge or experience in anything else other than their work.

If that’s success, then I do not want it.

What I loved about my lunch with Charlie yesterday is that we could chat about films, life, society, Higher Education, music to travelling and life. Because we both love learning, trying new things and our life doesn’t revolve around work. What we do for a living does not define us and it shouldn’t.

What the world needs is more well-rounded people like Charlie. Well-rounded, emotionally intelligent, loving, caring humans.  People who have what the Japanese called Ikigai, ‘a reason for being’.

Some of them might have reached success in the conventional sense, some might not. But it doesn’t matter.

I don’t know if anyone in years to come would even remember who I was, I don’t know if I leave a big mark on this crazy world, but we all leave our mark, big or small.

What I’ll leave for others is what I learned from my life through my blog, I’ll leave thousands of photos of delicious food and beautiful places and stories of amazing humans.

The feature image I used for this post today is an example of what I’ll leave for others. A gorgeous moment I captured whilst walking to work. I stopped walking for a second because I wanted to take in the beauty of this world. The sun coming out of the clouds, shining gloriously, brightening the beautiful park. Every time I stare at the sun I think of all my friends and family who live far away but at that moment standing there, the same sun is shining where they are. At that moment they don’t feel that far.

We are on our own time zones, literally and metaphorically but we are part of each other’s life, we are part of each other’s time line, in the most beautiful way. Because we love and care about each other. And I smile. 

It’s all about the little things, it’s all about enjoying every single moment, trying new things and for me right now, doing more things I want to but I’m scared of. And everything will fall into place. Just like that.

There is no better way to end this post with a poignant quote by my favourite lady, Leslie Knope.

—kflagrega

Namaste

Eleni

Life, Death and Everything in Between

One of the very few things I vividly remember from my first year studying Psychology at the Uni back home was something my lecturer said that shocked me at the time.

‘You are the only one responsible for your mental wellbeing, you are the only one responsible for your feelings and actions, no matter what life throws at you, no matter how others treat you. Feeling sad or angry or happy is your fault, your responsibility.’

I could not understand why. How? If someone treated my badly, if a loved one died, why is it my fault I’m sad?

It took me years and years to fully comprehend it. It took me years to realise, as Lisa Fieldman Barret, a neuroscientist and psychologist beautifully stated in a TED Talk I recently watchedYour emotions are built, not built in‘, meaning you, or your brain to be more precise is the one controlling them, although it may feels impossible.

I co-incidentally watched a Youtube video of Will Smith explaining how what happens in your life and how others treat you it is not your fault, but how you respond is your responsibility. And that’s exactly it.

When you stop blaming others and get out of the ‘victim’ mentality everything suddenly changes. You are in charge, you are responsible. Scary, tough but liberating.

My week

I say that every week since the beginning of the year but last week felt like the longest week of the year so far.

It’s been incredibly busy at work, which I actually enjoy. I’ve learned a lot over the last couple of weeks, I met different people across the University, from students to lecturers to HR experts such as Geoff Glover whose experience is impressive to say the least.

I’m incredibly grateful and honoured he agreed to meet with me and chat over coffee. I’ve learned more in an hour that I learned in a month. I truly admire humble, talented humans who love sharing their knowledge and experience with everyone and don’t let arrogance and success blind them. Geoff is definitely one of them.

But not everyone is nice and getting into arguments it’s inevitable sometimes. I had some of those too this week.

After work I spent most of my evenings writing or catching up with messages and other things I needed to do with the exception of my magical evening at the John Hansard Gallery.

the Transformer

By the end of the week I was shuttered.

On Friday sad news of a friend friend’s death, our age, and one of my best friend’s dad’s death added to my mental and physical exhaustion.

I went to bed at 11pm on Friday. That rarely happens but I was so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

I woke up early the next morning but I couldn’t get up. I messaged my best friend, my soul sister, my soulmate Happy Birthday telling her how I wished I was there to celebrate with her. And then I went back to sleep.

I stayed in bed until 2pm. I needed it. That meant I had to spend the rest of the weekend cleaning, tidying up, shopping, washing but I needed the break. I need a holiday and I can’t wait for my week off in March but for now that’s the best I could do.

It sucks when people lie to you, underestimate you or undervalue you. It sucks when your near and dear ones are ill, it sucks when they die. And it’s not your fault. Don’t you ever blame yourself. But you are the only one who can change things, you are the only one who can fix it. You are the only one who controls your feelings, your emotions, your actions.

Over the last three years I learned to take responsibility for my emotions and my mental wellbeing and even more importantly, I learned to control them. Not all the time but well enough not to beat myself up and fall back to depression.

Mrs Polikseni I get it now, it took me years but I get it.

Here’s to another week. No idea what it will bring, life is full of surprises lately, but whatever happens, enjoy every moment. Forget about dos and dont’s. Forget about anything that makes you unhappy, worried or anxious. Just live.

Every weekend I facetime my little sis and we chat and laugh for hours, catching up, talking about our week. Something so simple makes me so happy. It’s all about the little things.

I often ask myself…

‘If I die right now, how I want others to remember me?’ I want to be remembered as kind, caring, creative, always singing, a tad crazy, obsessed with food and Yoga With Adriene who made others smile and laugh.

‘If I die right now, what I want my last thoughts to be?’ I’m happy and blessed to have amazing, loving friends and family, I have a roof above my head and delicious food on my plate. I do my best to enjoy every single moment. I’m happy.

If I die right now, what would my biggest regrets be? This I struggle to answer but…

What most people dying, the single moment when the clarity of mind reaches extraordinary levels and you cannot but be honest to yourself wished for was that they worked less and spent more time making memories with their loved ones, enjoyed life more, expressed their feelings more and were happier and true to themselves.

Life is really too damn short. I’ve been reminded of it so many times I started to wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something…

Or maybe not…

Namaste

Eleni

PS Happy birthday to my little Prince. I promise I’ll teach you all I learned about life, death and everything in between.

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” 

My Little Prince

 

 

Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen

Three weeks ago on this day…

Shebz was packing her last things before she were to leave for home the following day and then travel the world.

She came over, sat next to me and gave me a gift bundle, a ‘care package’. She did the same a year ago just before she left for her three month Asia adventure.

But this time I was given instructions. I could open one of the gifts there and then but for the rest I should open them throughout January.

After she left, I decided I’d open one every Sunday until the end of January. I thought it would be a nice surprise at the end of every week (of course I’d never expected January to be full of many other surprises).

Don’t get me wrong I love surprises more than anyone else, but maybe there were one too many I could handle… and anxiety kicked in…

After almost three weeks of living with someone else, I miss my own little home more than ever. A post coming soon on this.

But weirdly, Sheba’s gifts reminded me without a failure every week, why I’m doing this.

The first present she wanted me to open when we were together on her last night in Southampton was a vintage painting of Florence (Firenze). From the first moment my sisters and I stepped into this small, gorgeous city last September, we instantly fell in love and it’s one of the places I’d love to go back one day. My girl knows me too well!

Firenze

It reminded me of one of the most amazing feelings in the world, falling in love with places, the magic of travelling. And it’s something I want to do more after I repay my loan and land my dream job.

The first gift I opened a week later, on the first Sunday I moved in my new place and I felt lost and out of place, was a little helping hand to start saving for more adventures. Already on it!

Adventure fund

The following Sunday, after a long, busy week and weekend catching up with friends, I was finally at home, time for some me-time. Although it’s not the same anymore. I really felt I lost my focus. The next gift couldn’t be more appropriate. The Little Book of Ikigai, the Essential Japanese Way To Find Your Purpose in Life. I cannot wait to read it.

Ikigai

The final gift I opened last Sunday. And I cried. Why would someone cry over a notebook?

Shebz and I love notebooks, we spent many of our lunch breaks in Paperchase browsing notebooks. It’s one of our things. One of our favourite little activities we love doing together. And God she picked the perfect one.

Notebook

Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

This is my mantra for February.

My old soul destroying habit of overthinking came back stronger than ever this week and I haven’t had a good night’s sleep for days but I’m back on track, with a little help from my bestie and my family and loved ones.

So here’s to February! May be full of love, surprises and amazing adventures.

Namaste

Eleni

 

Hello November

Happy November!

Winter is almost here. Crispy cold in the morning, dark when I leave work. And Christmas is coming, I can feel it in the air.

New month, new beginnings again for me. And I could not be more grateful.

About this time last year I didn’t want to leave the house, I struggled to find any motivation to do anything, I didn’t feel like blogging or doing anything else for that matter.

A year later, it couldn’t be more different.

October was busy but exciting.

From trying Scandinavian food with one of my favourite friends, trying new cafes in town, dinner and drinks with my favourite work friends to meeting new people through social media and face to face such as the lovely Selina who is a freelance consultant for Arbonne, and the inspiring Beth and Mel, who just started their skincare company, Cherish.

 

I felt incredibly happy when, after my post about networking I received messages from people I didn’t expect and we are now arranging chats with coffee to get to know each other better. How great is that.

My post on how I survive work in a dead end job is now my most read post and the response I got caught me by surprise!

But it doesn’t end there.

I absolutely loved the Women Who Do Breakfast and Networking last week. And through this event I’ve met the incredible Bene, a hot power yoga teacher in Southampton and I’ll soon been trying her classes and tell you all about it.  I met with Benedita and Ian, her partner and also yoga teacher, yesterday and we chatted all about yoga and her story so far. You all know by now how much I love yoga and how it helped and helps me physically and mentally. It was one of the most interesting, inspiring conversations I had in a while.

Women Who Do
Women Who Do

I spent last Sunday at the University, volunteering for the Open Day, which I’d recommend it to any University staff, what a beautiful day that was.

The Pod
The Pod

I’ve also signed up for free six month Personal Training (thank you Solent Health!) with one of our BA Fitness and Personal Training students who I actually met today.

And I’m halfway through my Salsa Beginners classes which I really enjoy.

And I’m back at the workplace choir. I finally made it back. I missed everyone, especially Dan!

These are just some of the things I got up to. I’m exhausted but I loved every moment.

I can’t believe how much I learned over the last year and improved myself. There is still work to be done but I’m happy in my skin.

I’m now confident enough to apply for a job I’m really interested in but I have no extensive ‘relevant’ work experience because I’m not scared anymore. I believe in myself and even if I don’t get it, I’ll learn something from it.

I want to end this post with a big big thank you to everyone for all your comments and love for my blog. I really felt it this last couple of weeks. It melt my tiny, little heart. To receive so much love for something I do because I love and enjoy doing it is overwhelmingly beautiful.

I can’t wait to see what else November will bring!

Namaste

Eleni

 

#lessonlearnt #JUSTBEYOURSELF

It’s getting late and I have to wake up VERY early tomorrow but I can’t sleep so it’s time to share…I lost count of how much I learnt over the last month or so but here is the most important lesson…

We live in a world that we are expected to be happy and positive and optimistic all the time…  but if you are laughing and chat a lot, because you try to find joy in little things and you know that if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry you are seen as silly or stupid…

A world in which if you don’t like what most people do then you are “weird”…

A world in which being sad or emotional is considered weakness, a world in which being intelligent and knowledgeable makes you a “geek”, a world in which if you are aware of what is actually happening on the rest of the planet and you have views and opinions based on solid, intelligent, intuitive arguments, knowledge and your own life experiences and theories you are “too serious”…

A world in which if you are single it means you are sad or lonely or somehow gives the right to others to be extra “friendly” or if you are in a relationship you are happy or if you are married you are boring…

A world in which if you don’t go out all the time or do something crazy or post cool photos having fun, you are then “less interesting” or “important” than others.

A world in which you are not “allowed” to worry or admit you struggle because life is not always easy.

Isn’t it ironic?? Isn’t it sad that a lot of people live their lives trying to be “cool”? Trying to impress others and end up being miserable because that’s not what they really want from life? Desperately trying to follow all these “social rules”?

Well I’m not. I can’t. Yeah, it’s been a difficult month for me. I’m not going to get into details, not because I care what others think but because I don’t want to share all my mishappenings and troubles with EVERYONE.

And I reached a point I just wonder how much one can take. But then I remember my aunt. She comes into my thoughts a lot lately, I guess it’s because it’ll soon be a year since that day I flew back home, since the last time I’ve seen her. I won’t write much about it on this post because I’m already emotional just thinking about it, but I can’t believe how fast this year has gone by but also still feels it was only yesterday. That night scarred all of us for life. But also changed all of us for ever. I’ll write a special post on the day, 17th of October, I’ll never forget this date…

But that was made me not take life too seriously. That’s what made me every time something bad happens to remind myself that is nothing compared to what she went through so selflessly and that life is too short.

So I cry. Or get angry. And then I laugh it off. I find little things to make me laugh, I make up silly jokes. I spend time doing things I love with people I love or spend hours on my own because I don’t always want to be around others, playing the guitar, or singing or reading or writing. Anything to remind me that life can be fun and enjoyable even when you struggle.

Life can get difficult, it’s hard as it is, don’t pretend to be someone else or hide your real feelings just because you feel you have to. You don’t. It’s OK to be shy or loud, or open or closed or sensitive or quirky or intelligent or (add whatever you can think of). It’s OK to cry, laugh, be happy, sad, depressed… It’s OK to be you. And it’s OK to be human…

So the biggest lesson I learnt: Just be yourself. That what makes you cool and special, to me anyway. I love how honest and open Donna is, I love how flaky and loveable and awesome Sheba is, I love how fun and quirky Helena is, I love Linda’s collection of memorabilia from her trips, I love how Suzanne knows so much about DIY and painting… how Matt and Sati love their adorable children so much… how kind Sarah is so much she drove to the vets to rescue a seagull… I love how much Claire loves her little ones at school and puts her heart and soul into her teaching… I love how Chris always loses his credit cards (but also how kind and considerate is, boss you are the best)… I love how Jon always offers me his food when I’m hungry, I love how Jaba always gives hugs to everyone…, how Dan arranges and teaches us a song and is passionate about his work, … how amazingly organised Lucy is… I love Claire Rayner’s voice, I’m glad she is back on Lunchtime Glee, love Helen and Sally’s adventures, I adore the O’Donoghue sisters, so loving and caring and fun… I love Andy, his special good morning and goodbye fistbumps and his tattoo (N-dog!)…I Iove Steve’s dry sense of humour (Chandler from Friends!), I love how Fraser always brings me treats when he comes back from holiday, I love Lorna’s laugh, every time she laughs we all laugh!

I love Jack’s stories, even when I know he spiced them up, Lesley’s dancing around, Ellie’s jokes, Mike’s hilarious snaps, Pat’s funny posts…

I love how beautifully Elena plays the piano, how Polia always gets into trouble, I love Andri’s cooking, how Artemis always comes up with clever ideas, how Maria ALWAYS gets me and understands exactly what I’m saying,  how my sister and dad make any dish, even simple ones taste so special, I love how my mum is so sensitive and genuine, I love how my little sister can play the flute and annoy us all for hours… I love how Georgia always finds the most beautiful things to buy for her and her children and how much she loves her 7 angels… I love Athena’s cakes and crafts, I love chatting to Alkistis about Marvel… I can go on and on but you get the point…

Be yourself. Express your feelings. Just be you. If others don’t get it or don’t get you, well they don’t have to. If they don’t like you and love you for who you are, then it’s not worth it…

Until next time…

Love you all xx

How time flies!

I can’t believe is June already! This year is flying by!!!

I finally made some time to post! I have a list of things to do today but I’m glad I managed to sit down and reflect even for a little.

Turning 30 gave me the perfect opportunity to push myself to the limit. Even when I am tired I feel I can’t stay still, I am restless. I want to get out and do things, meet people, spend time with friends, old and new, try new things more often, anything to make me feel alive and enjoy life as much as I possibly can.

So what have I learned this last month or so?

Some things are better kept unsaid! I share a lot with others because I am a very open person but sometimes you need to keep some things for yourself.

The older you get, the more you don’t care about others’ opinion. I was talking to a friend recently who was going to a wedding he really didn’t want to but he felt he had to. Well if it were me, I wouldn’t. I only really care about my friends and family and I am not willing to waste any time on anything I won’t enjoy just because I feel I have to. Life is so much better when you do what YOU want!

Time just flies! I honestly cannot believe is June already! I’ve been living on my own for 5 months ( I must admit I’m not the best example of a responsible adult living on their own, but having fun is more important, right?) although it feels like yesterday when I first moved in. So much has happened in the last couple of months, I  know I’ve mentioned that a lot but I am amazed how many amazing, incredible and sometimes ridiculously talented (talent is sexy!) people I’ve met, how many awesome experiences I had and how my life has changed and is changing even as we speak. Remember, give everyone and everything a chance, it’s incredible how amazing life can be when you are open and spontaneous!!!

I’ve read somewhere recently that ‘sometimes to end a chapter and begin a new, we must read the same lines numerous times over. Be patient. With repetition, comes understanding.  The truth may not surface at first, but at some point it always will’. 

I completely disagree!!! You don’t always get closure and some things will never make sense, no matter what. So my advice is: If you don’t get closure, don’t go through everything over and over again. Complete waste of time. Make up your own story, your own closure, whatever will push you to move on, because honestly, not everything that happen to you or me or anyone will make sense. 

A couple of days ago we were discussing with friends whilst having lunch in the sun how happy we are with our life now, even though we all ‘ve been through s*** situations over the last year. And I am happy we are all happy 🙂 Love you guys!x

I feel the need to thank everyone again (you know who you are!) for all the love and care you show for me, especially this month, I’m so grateful to have you in my life! x

I’ll be soon going home for holidays, catchup, celebrations and then new chapters begin when I’m back for which I am really excited about! (that means I might not be able to blog again until after I’m back, but hey, there are so many things I enjoy doing with my free time, you can’t blame me 😉 )

I’ll leave you with my favourite summer song at the moment! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjOhZZyn30k

Enjoy the summer!

Love you all! xx

 

 

 

Thank you :)

Thank you all for my birthday wishes, cards, messages, gifts.

I am all about people and love and I definitely felt the love, even from people I didn’t expect! My little heart melted, especially with some of the messages I received.

I had an amazing time celebrating my birthday since early May until my AWESOME birthday weekend (thank you Shebz and Helena for making it so special for me!). I will definitely not forget my 30th birthday celebrations! It was a nice goodbye to my 20s, and now a new era begins! Turning 30 gave me the perfect opportunity for a fresh start!

It’s up to me to make it a good one and I will, no matter what! I remembered recently something my psychology professors used to say: if someone hurt you/upset you/made you cry, it’s your fault! And they are right! Think about it for a minute! It’s totally up to you how you will react to a situation. You choose to be upset or sad or ignore it. I know it’s not easy, I’m the last person to suggest it’s easy, I’m an emotional person, but I guess the older you get the less you bother about situations you don’t enjoy or upset you, so I promise, it gets easier!

I look forward to my first year in my 30s, I have no idea what I will be doing in a year’s time! I might be in Vietnam or Mexico or London, I might be married with a kid. Life is full of surprises and I LOVE surprises, so who knows what it will bring! The only thing I know is that I will do my best not to waste anytime on anything that’s not worth it and just be happy!

The aim of this blog as the name suggests was to share what I’ve learned before I turn 30, but I will continue to share what I learn now that I’m in my 30s! I might need to change the title!!! I will not post as often as I’m keeping myself busy all the time, trying to enjoy life to the full, even if that means being tired 24/7. So I am not sure when I’ll post next/

Thank you all again for all your wonderful messages.

I’ll finish this post with a snippet of one of my favourite messages I received: surround yourself with people that make you smile and always remember to be yourself!

Love you all! xx

Last few days of my 20s….

The last couple of days I’m in my 20s..

The last few days I’ve been thinking a lot about turning 30. Some of you might have went through a similar phase. I was talking to a friend today who just turned 30 and he felt the same as I did. Yeah, I know. I don’t look or feel old and I am blessed to have the freedom to do whatever I want because I have no responsibilities or ties anywhere. I don’t feel bad, but I guess I feel a bit nostalgic and the fact I am turning 30, I can’t help but think about my life so far.

Thinking about the last 10 years, oh my. There have been so many amazing moments! Happy and sad, accidents, births, deaths, celebrations,weddings, funerals, parties, relationships, friendships, surprises, lots of surprises… a good mixture of everything!

My uni years were probably the best years of my life so far…

I might not have spent too much time reading books, watching movies or studying (at least I graduated with good grades!) but God we had fun and we did some crazy things! Laughed and cried so much and made friends for life!!

Then I don’t know what happened. My plan was to stay in the UK after I finish my masters and become a successful psychologist (although I had no idea in what field). Plans hey? That’s why I don’t make any long term plans… they never go as you think they’d do.

But then I met my ex boyfriend. I guess love makes you take decisions you wouldn’t normally take… and do things you wouldn’t normally do… I fell in love so hard that all I wanted was to be with him whatever it took. So I spent the last 7 years trying but didn’t really know what I was trying for.  We had amazing time together and I’ll always cherish our relationship and all the nice moments we had and take the lessons I learned from all the bad moments…

But I got lost, he got lost, we both got lost… we lost ourselves and forgot what it really mattered in life… to just be ourselves and enjoy every moment. I don’t know if our paths will ever meet again, but I really hope he is well and happy.

I always found it weird how you can become complete strangers with people you were so close, friends or lovers, from one day to the other …  but with other people no matter what happens, however long you haven’t talked or wherever in the world they are, you are always close and every time you talk or see each other, nothing feels different. I guess that’s true love. It never goes away, does it?

I’ve already talked about my past, I won’t share any more, but two things  I learned over and over and over again:

1. You never know what life will throw at you and you can’t prepare yourself. You learn as you go along… And I’ve learned and grown and I’m finally at a place I’m happy with my life.

2.Life is really too short! Most of us hope that will live until we are 90 and die happy in our sleep, but that’s not what life has in store for all of us. Only a week ago a cyclist lost his life just outside work.  He was ran over by a lorry. And it got me, it really did. Not only because I felt deeply sad this person lost his life and I couldn’t even imagine how his family and the lorry driver were coping, but also because I realised once again how short and fragile life is. Now every time I pass by or happen to look on that very spot, I always remind myself how short life is and that nothing is worth dwelling on.

My life changed dramatically so many times, especially the last year and it’s still changing as we speak. This month has been crazy so far! I honestly don’t know what to expect any more. Even if I meet an alien I won’t be surprised!

A year ago, even 6 months ago, although I knew my relationship was about to end, I thought what I really wanted to do for my 30th was to spend it in New York with the love of my life (yeah, yeah hopeless romantic). I always wanted to go, it was on the top of the list of the hundreds of places I want to see before I die and I wanted to go with my man.

But not any more. I still want to go and I will one day. It might be with the love of my life, or my best friends, or old friends, or new friends, or  on my own  or I might even get a job there, who knows! But right now it’s not a priority.

My wise friend reminded me yesterday that we will always have responsibilities and there is no point waiting for the right time to do what you really want to do. ‘Cause there is no better time than now! And she is absolutely right! Whatever you want to do, just do it. If you don’t like how your life it is right now, then change it!

For me, it’s not about materialistic things and achieving long term goals, it’s always been about people and experiences. And that’s why my cover photo is not of places I’ve been or things I bought, but it’s all about people and love and having fun… so now the emotional part (yes, I teared up whilst writing this, I am so lucky to have amazing people in my life!).

I am grateful for all the experiences, good and bad, happy and painful, of the last 10 years. I enjoyed my 20s and I have no regrets… I want to say thank you to all my friends and family for everything you have done for me, for loving me for who I am and being there for me no matter what, even when I was a right mess! I love you all to the moon and back and those of you I don’t see often, you know I love you and you are always in my heart… apologies for non-Greek speakers for the next paragraph…

Σας αγαπώ όλους πάρα πολυ, φίλους, οικογένεια, τους γονείς μου, το αρφούι μου, το παπάκι μου, θείους, θείες, ξαδέρφια. Σας ευχαριστώ απο τα βάθη της ψυχής μου για όλες τις υπέροχες στιγμές και αναμνήσεις αλλά και τα δύσκολα που περάσαμε μαζί. Ευχαριστώ που ήσασταν και είστε πάντα δίπλα μου. ( Και ναι αρφουι, εκλαμουριστηκα!)

I don’t feel old… and I wouldn’t like to go back in time. I like the person I’ve become and the life I built so far. I feel a bit sad my 20s are over but I am excited about the new era coming… It’s a fresh start in all aspects of my life. Workwise, personal life, emotionally, spiritually and I can’t wait to find out what the future brings!

I’ll get to spend my 30th birthday with two special peeps wandering around and having fun, getting into all sorts of adventures, my favourite thing to do !!! Next time I’ll post I’ll be officially a 30 year old! Eeek!

Love you all! x