volunteering – Lessons I learned after I turned 30

A day of Communicare, Art and Crafts

Saturday morning

My alarm went off at 8am but I could barely move. I’ve only been back from my holiday for a day and went straight to work, on a Friday. After a week of wandering and exploring the Forest, London and Brussels (I will be attempting to put together vlogs to accompany my blogs, coming soon hopefully, if I manage to learn the basics of video editing, wish me luck!), I was in high spirits but oh my I was tired.

I was so close to not doing anything at all and have a rest day but my heart wouldn’t let me. I haven’t seen Kathy for a while and I promised to take her out for tea and cake next time I visit. She loves going out and about but after a recent fall she is not very mobile. If I were to hold her arm though and with the aid of her walking stick we could make it.

The Communicare Vintage and Craft fair was also on today, in Portswood. I thought maybe I’d skip that and go straight to Kathy’s but I haven’t seen the lovely Communicare people since I signed up to befriending and Bryony and I went to meet Kathy for the first time.

To make things worse, after a week of holiday and a week before payday I was pretty broke.

After arguing with my self, twirling and whirling in bed for a good half an hour I came up with a plan, sort of. I’d get up and get ready quickly, Uber it to the Fair and walk back home to save money. I could then head to Kathy’s. There were a lot of events in town on the day but I was too tired to attempt more.

I made it to the Fair when it had just started, at 11am. I was stationed at the entrance to welcome people in and ask them to guess the adorable Communibear’s favourite food to initiate conversation and it was fun as well.

I had the most fun and also bizarre couple of hours.

I got to talk to a lot of people and I’ve bumped into colleagues and lovely ladies from SingNow Choir I hadn’t seen for a while.

I watched Annie, Communicare’s manager interviewed by That’s TV Solent, a local TV channel and had a chat with the cameraman and interviewer about video editing.

A random man (who smelled of alcohol) thought I was Polish and came straight to me and asked for toilet paper. I don’t speak Polish but I managed to figure that out. Just before he left he asked for a selfie (!). That never happened to me before and I didn’t know what to do but agreed. I wondered whether that’s how famous people feel when strangers ask them for photos.

I had a slice of coffee and walnut cake and a quick wander in before I left. So many beautiful stalls including Sue’s wonderful flower arrangements.

It wasn’t too busy inside unfortunately as there were 4-5 major events running on the same day in the city, as I mentioned before but it looked great.

On my way back I decided to pop at the Spark and check out the Accessible Art Show. Amazing. Blog coming soon but here’s a flavour.

I then passed by Guildhall Square to listen to the live music (So: Music City Festival was on) but there were in between acts and setting up for the next performance. The Square wasn’t busy either.

After about an hour I made it to Kathy’s. I was a bit anxious whether she’d be OK getting out of the flat but as soon as I walked in her coat was by her side (though she didn’t know I was going today) and when I asked her if she felt well enough to go out she was so happy, her face lit I couldn’t possibly not at least try. Though her memory is not doing well she remembers the Shopping Mall and every time I ask her where she’d like to go, she mentions it first (she would love a cruise too, and a trip to Italy, her travelling spirit never goes away).

I helped her get her shoes on and slowly started moving. There are a few steps within the flat who she struggled with and she needed a minute or two to rest before we headed out. We stopped a couple of times for her to catch her breath but she loved it.

I got her some tea and cake and had a wander around West Quay. She finished all her cake and tea (It’s the first time I’ve seen someone enjoy their cake so much, taking her time to eat every single piece, mindfulness at its best, though I’m sure she never heard the term before but she definitely mastered it) watched people come and go, she had a chat with a random lady who sat next to her at a bench and smiled at everyone. I’ve never seen her so happy.

On our little walk we came across the ShopCreative fair but my attention was on Kathy I didn’t spend much time looking. It looked lovely though. It’s on all weekend if you fancy. The lovely Sarah is there with her gorgeous ceramic and glass creations.

I was worried on our way back as she got extremely tired and I held her whilst she leaned on a phone box to rest. But all good. We made it back home safe and she couldn’t wait until we go out again.

I hope she gets a wheelchair so I can take her further out. I wish I still had my car.

I came home feeling exhausted but happy. What a wonderful day it’s been. I treated myself to pizza and Netflix (the Maddeleine McCann Documentary is fascinating).

Now time to tackle my long to-do-list.

Happy Sunday!

Eleni

Chat with a 91 year old

‘My dad used to say ‘always keep moving’, that’s the secret of still feeling young when you grow old’ Kathy told me after I complimented her for looking way younger than 91. That’s something I’ll always remember.

Saturday morning

I got up early, had breakfast, got ready quickly and I was out of the house in half an hour. I put my headphones on but I was distracted with the sea of people in town, so I took them off. One of the cruise ships must have stopped at the port, as I picked out strong American accents from a large group wearing cowboy hats and further down another gang dressed up fancy.

Back to my mission. I was on my way to visit my new, 91 year old friend Kathy. I met Kathy a week ago, on Valentine’s day actually and I couldn’t wait to see her again.

I’ve always wanted to sign up for befriending at one of the charities I help with events, Communicare and as soon as I came back home after Christmas that’s one of the first things I did.

After a DBS background check and filling in a couple of forms I met Kathy, a 91 year old lovely lady who absolutely loves having company, at lunchtime last week with Bryony, the volunteer co-ordinator. After our visit I messaged Bryony to let her know I thought Kathy and I were a great match and that was it.

I will now once a week (or more often if I have time) spend some time chatting with Kathy.

I was a bit nervous on my way there, it will be the first time we’ll be alone together…

‘Will she be happy to see me?’

‘What if we ran out of things to say?’

But after 5 minutes talking to her, nerves disappeared.

Kathy is remarkable. Intelligent, creative, funny and despite her dementia she can perfectly hold a conversation and oh my what wonderful conversations we had so far. I’ve learned so much from her already and we only hang out twice.

‘My dad used to say ‘always keep moving’, that’s the secret of still feeling young when you grow old’ Kathy told me after I complimented her for looking way younger than 91. That’s something I’ll always remember.

I left her flat, walking in the sunshine, with a big grin on my face, thinking about the incredible life she had and feeling blessed I met her.

That’s why I love what Communicare and other similar charities do. I volunteer some of my time which people always find impressive but I get so much more out of it than I give. Older people have wisdom, incredible stories and knowledge in abundance and I can’t believe that a lot end up alone with no one to speak to. It makes my heart hurt.

I’ll tell you her story after I ask her, if she agrees, because it truly is amazing, but my message for today is however busy your life may be, making time for others, especially others who might not have anyone to talk to it won’t only feel amazing, because you will be doing something for someone else, you will help pass on the knowledge and wisdom of the elderly to younger generations.

Eleni

Cakes, Christmas, Crafts and bears: Communicare Vintage and Craft Fair

Saturday, 3rd of November 2018.

My first Communicare Vintage and Craft fair as a volunteer.

I’ve been before with my SingNow friends a few times. I still vividly remember the scrumptious slice of carrot cake I had the first time I’ve been and that’s where I got the hand-knitted peach hat from my brother Andi loved so much, he kept after climbing Snowdon because it reminded him of me and brought back with him to Ben Nevis a year later.

If you haven’t heard of Communicare before, is a great charity offering befriending, shopping, DIY, transport and other services to those who need it in Southampton.

I always loved the bi-annual Communicare fairs and now I got to be part of it. I’ve been volunteering with Communicare as an events assistant for a while now but since I unfortunately work full-time I can’t attend many of their daytime events, I couldn’t wait for the Vintage and Craft fair, the first event I could help out with.

I was asked to design a flier for it months ago and thanks to Canva, an online platform with free templates- I highly recommend if you want professional-looking leaflets and posters, I came up with this one:

After months, the day finally came. And I had such a wonderful time, I went home tired but with a huge grin on my face that lasted for days (well until Monday morning, when reality kicked in and I had to go to work and spend hours staring at spreadsheets).

I made it on time, I know, some of you may be surprised but I always make it on time for things I really care (getting a taxi also helped!).

Collecting the prizes for the raffle gave me the opportunity to meet and have a chat with all the wonderful stallholders. There was a great variety from antique items, to Beach themed crafts, Christmas decorations, jewellery and paintings.

I spent some time giving out fliers outside with Vicky who was dressed as a bear, adorable, and I was so happy some of the people I gave fliers to, a lovely man with his three daughters who promised to pop by after the girls had their nails done and two couples, amongst others, decided to pop in and see what it was all about.

After a little wander and some purchases- it was hard to resist- I had a break for some delicious cake, again it was VERY hard to choose because of the endless options but I went for banana and chocolate. Yum!

I spent the rest of my time manning the stand for the impressive hand-knitted Nativity kindly donated by Bob ( I think, apologies if I mixed up the names) and selling our wonderful Communibears, of course I bought one too, they were too cute not to, and hand-knitted hats and scarfs.

I loved everything about it. The atmosphere, the live music, Jim Rogers (I can’t believe he sang one of my favourite Ryan Adams songs, Come Pick Me Up is a tune) and Serena Lin, who initially thought a CD was on, she was that good, were incredible, the stalls and all the lovely people I got to meet (and of course lovely people I already knew such as the wonderful Barbara, I love that lady so much, one of the nicest people I’ve ever met).

I’ll never forget Margaret, a retired teacher who went around to sell more teddy bears and ended up buying one for a little girl, she then bumped into one of her students from 30 odd years ago who told her she was the best teacher she ever had. After she took a picture of herself and her student’s family all together she asked her if she could record her saying that she was the best teacher she ever had. The joy in her face was indescribable.

Margaret was just one of the many wonderful humans I had the pure pleasure of meeting that day. There are too many to list and it’s impossible to remember all the names, but every single one made me feel welcome, something I always worry about as an expat living in the UK.

I wish I got to do this every day. Spend all my time making people smile. Maybe one day I’ll start my own charity to do just that. Who knows. Maybe…

In the meantime, I can’t wait for the next Communicare event. Thank you to the lovely Annie, Bryony and everyone else at Communicare for letting me be part of their wonderful charity and help a little little raising money for such a noble cause.

Eleni

PS Communicare is always looking for more volunteers, so if you fancy joining this beautiful community, or you’d like to donate or attend future events, all details are here.

Tea, cake and life stories in Hamble

Balm for the soul, that’s how it felt, every story, every conversation, every laugh it was as if an invisible hand holding my heart smothered it in balm, soothing, healing balm.

Tuesday, 30th of October, 2018

The day finally arrived for the next Touch event, one of the highlights of my month. I love everything about it, the atmosphere, the venues, usually at intimate, cute little cafes, the incredible stories, the people, it’s all about the people. To be there when another human decides to bare all, share their story and be vulnerable in front of strangers is so beautiful, it brings me to tears.

Debs asked me if I’d like to host again and I’m glad she did. The first time I did it I was tiny bit nervous and also going through another confidence crisis due to a recent rejection which resulted in me stumbling a little, worrying whether maybe my accent might me too heavy and people can’t understand a word I’m saying, they might not like me or they wonder what the hell I was doing there, so now it was the perfect opportunity to just be the usual me, well almost, all things going wrong lately have taken its toll and I find it unbelievably tempting to hide from everyone and everything.

This event took place in Hamble, for the first time, thanks to Tesco Bags of Help. Did you know that Tesco uses the money they raise from the sale of carrier bags to fund local projects across communities in the UK? I had no idea. But Touch applied for funding and Tesco Bags of Help kindly donated money for Debs to run events across Hampshire, for free, and this was the first one.

So around 6:30pm, Hannah, Rachael, Debs and I were at the cutest little cafe situated on a picturesque street in Hamble, Jenny’s cafe, preparing for our story telling evening.

Question jars and fliers on the tables, mic set, and after I met all our lovely speakers, I had a warm chamomile tea and a slice of delicious Raspberry Bakewell cake, I was up to introduce our first guest.

This time I had a quick glimpse at my notes to make sure I don’t forget any important information and the most wonderful thing happened. I made everyone laugh. I could not believe it. What an amazing feeling. That moment right there, was one of those rare ones I felt overwhelmingly happy. I haven’t had one of these since early September, sitting on a swing on the most beautiful terrace at Cyherbia botanical park.

After my short introduction, Bhavin stood up in front of a now full of people cafe to share his life long struggle with low self-esteem, depression and severe anxiety. He is now doing so much better he made it to Hamble to talk to a group of strangers about it. He was nervous, his hands were shaking but he did it. And I can imagine how hard it might have been for him. I know first hand how debilitating anxiety can be, I know how it can physically and mentally paralyse you and it takes all your strength to control it. This is a prime example of what Touch is about. It’s such an honour and privilege to be there when a wonderful human shares his most personal, vulnerable story.

After presenting Bhavin with his ‘I told my story’ badge, Jan was up to share her story. It was, like Bhavin the first time she came to a Touch event and the first time she shared her story in public. Jan had an accident a while ago, which immobilised her for 14 weeks. For someone as active as Jan it was incredibly hard. She couldn’t cook, walk, drive, walk. And although tough, through her experience she discovered what a wonderful Community she lives in. Her friends and neighbours would make her dinner, drive her to the hospital, keep her company, made her feel she is never alone. She not only learned that it’s OK to ask for help but also that people love to help.

After a short break for more tea and cake and chats, it was time for Paul to share his story. I had no doubt he’d be a great speaker. I’ve met him earlier in the evening and he is one of those naturally charismatic people who makes you feel comfortable talking to him, truly listens and gives you all his attention.

I couldn’t believe that Paul used to hate public speaking. He avoided it for years and one day, whilst training on presentation skills realised that what he was scared was not public speaking, he realised he was terrified of being the centre of attention, due to his troublesome childhood. Coming to this realisation was not easy but he is now a life coach and loves public speaking. This the power of human nature. When you stop for a minute and take the time to look inside, be brave to face your fears and understand what it is that’s causing it, not be scared to be vulnerable. That’s when you become friends with yourself and can move forward.

The last speaker of the evening was our own Debs. Debs told her story many times before (you can watch her beautiful Southampton Tedx talk here), that’s what led her to found Touch but tonight it was a different story, one that I haven’t heard before. She talked about her journey, from a support worker, charity worker to a successful freelance project manager working in London. But that wasn’t her, that didn’t put her talents, her social skills and love of talking to people and her creativity to best use. So she quit and took a leap of faith and did what she always wanted to do, help others first hand by starting a social enterprise, Touch where anyone can come and share their own personal story and inspire one another. See, that’s when humans flourish, doing what they love. You just need to get over the scary part of taking the risk and ask. If you won’t ask, you’ll never know.

Here’s a little video of last night’s speakers the lovely Sam put together.

What a great end to a truly wonderful evening. Thank you to all the amazing speakers, the lovely guests who came to listen to all the inspiring stories, Lizzie at Jenny’s Cafe for her hospitality and delicious cakes and Debs and Hannah for introducing me to such a great community and letting me be a part of their amazing team.

That was one of the very few times in the last month or so I forgot about every single worry and pain. That was balm for the soul, my soul.

If you’d like to share your story or volunteer with us all details on the Touch website. And if you fancy coming along to one of these amazing evenings here is a list of all our future events. The next one is at the Point at Eastleigh, on the 18th of November and it’s free!

Eleni

An afternoon of songs and stories

I came back from Cyprus on a sunny Friday afternoon. An eventful return, delay after delay, twelve hours on the go with a heavy heart and my mind buzzing, thinking of what I can do to get out of the routine I was about to get back into, already missing the sun and exploring my home island, already missing the sea, the love and the people.

I didn’t get into my little ‘under construction’ home until late at night and Saturday went too fast. But I had something to look forward to on Sunday.

The next Touch event. I’m so lucky to volunteer for such a great charity. Every time I leave inspired, motivated, touched.

This one was even more special. A collaboration between the amazing Love Soul Choir run by Dan, one of my favourite humans and Touch, songs and stories at probably my favourite venue in Southampton, Harbour Lights.

Music, soul’s medicine and real life, every day, inspiring stories. I knew before I got there it would be a great one.

After a short glorious walk on a sunny, unexpectedly warm afternoon I arrived there a bit early to help out. I loved being down at the reception directing guests upstairs. I was more than once mistaken for Harbour Lights staff and I loved directing people to the till, to the screens, to the bar. The little every day surprises I find amusing.

Many familiar faces in the crowd, Bev, Lucy, Svetlana.

2pm and we are about to start. After a short intro Love Soul is up, warming up the audience with their incredible vocals and then Vie, the first speaker, takes the mic.

She is wearing a black coat the other way around, and lets her hair down, covering her face. That’s who she was for the first thirty years of her life. She was told since the tender age of six that she was ‘fat and ugly’ by her own family. She was bullied to believe she would never become anything special. How sad to be made to feel like that by your loved ones.

But after she discovered burlesque dancing her life completely changed. She became a qualified trainer, a motivational speaker, a bright example dressed in pretty 50s vintage clothes with flowers on her gorgeous hair, for young people to follow.

After Vie, Love Soul entertained us with a few more songs before the break and then Andy, our second speaker got up. What a life he and his wife already had despite their young age. Seizures, miscarriage, a devastating brain tumour diagnosis and radiotherapy for his wife… But they never lost hope, they kept going and through their faith and support from their family and friends they made it through and they are both and their two lovely boys well and happy.

Andy writes beautiful poems and he read a couple to us. He even brought copies of his book Uplifted and gave them out for free. This one is the last he read, which sums up his life attitude:

Remedy

There it is, suddenly

Something so much bigger than me

Feeling that significance is my life’s

Parody

Revelation is my remedy

It’s not who I am

It’s who has my destiny

Got no strength; I am weak

Yet the great I AM is the conqueror

Where all I see defeat

No broken promises

Just incomplete

All things to good, I believe

My only hope

My remedy

Love Soul was up next singing two more songs and then it was time for our final speaker Abby.

Another in-cre-di-ble story, another amazing human. Abby was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder when she was 25, after years of minimal sleep, pain, lows and highs. Solent Mind supported her throughout her journey and after becoming a motivational speaker and a mental health advocate she is now running her own project, Heads Up, delivering workshops to young people of all ages in schools, colleges, anywhere there are young people, raising awareness for mental health so she can help others from as early as possible.

What an astonishingly immaculate difference it will make to a person’s life to get diagnosed and get help as soon as they can feel that something is wrong, to know that it is OK not to be OK and not suffer in silence for years.

After Abby’s speech Love Soul closed the event with a final song. What a beautiful ending to an already marvellous afternoon.

I can’t wait for our next event. Still, after five months of volunteering for Touch it surprises me how everyone has a story to tell, how I can relate to all in some way, how many amazing humans are out there and how inspired I get from each one of them. I truly hope that one day we live in a world that accommodates openness and honesty, where feeling vulnerable is not a weakness and everyone feels comfortable to share their story and learn from each other .

Eleni

Love and joy for all: Southampton Pride 2018

2018 has not been an easy ride so far but there are days I’ll never forget, days that made it to the top of the list, memories I’ll treasure for ever.

I travelled on my own for the first time to the beautiful Bordeaux, I made it to the top of the highest mountain in the UK, I moved to a home on my own again, The Solent Graduation week 2018, cherished memories with friends and family here and at my little home island and now Southampton Pride.

I loved it so much last year, I couldn’t possibly imagine how it can get better, but oh my it did.

A year and two cruise ship visits later, I got to know the volunteers and the organisers, the most loveliest bunch of humans I’ve ever met, especially Danny who has a heart of gold and I had no doubt Southampton Pride 2018 would be an incredible day but I didn’t realise how bigger and better it would have been.

A dedicated family area, playground, bouncy castles and cute farm animals. pigs, chicken, goats, I don’t know how much time I spent staring at the chicks and the ducks. There’s something soothing, heart-warming to watch the little, new to this world, innocent creatures just… being.

Food and drink stalls, a large bar, the Main Stage, and inside the Guildhall there was a second stage and countless stands, selling merchandise, charity representatives, a glitter stand, the Great Wall with messages of love and many more I didn’t get the time to explore.

Whilst walking around with my friend Jamie who volunteered for the Pride last minute, taking snaps of our wonderful guests, I caught a glimpse of my adopted brother Andi on the Teacup rides with his goddaughter, so sweet it almost brought me to tears.

This year there was a doggie area, one of my favourite parts of the Pride, where you could get your dog trained, and there were feeding and water bowls. I lost count of how many cute dogs I got to pet. A paradise on earth.

I spent half of my shift with Jamie, capturing all the joy and fun of the amazing, loving humans attending the event, giving out cards with details of the survey we set up to know what people thought of the event, that’s how we’ll learn and keep making it better year after year (if you were there and want to fill it in all details here) bumping into people I know, Solent colleagues, friends I haven’t seen in a while, the gorgeous Carlos and Jens and my brother Andi, who every time I see it’s a painful reminder of how much I miss seeing him every day.

At 2pm, it was time for the Parade. I missed it last year, so I didn’t know what to expect. What an amazing atmosphere! Men, women, transgender, singles, couples, families, children, dogs, all together in bright, happy colours, walking in the centre of Southampton celebrating love.

When Jamie left, I teamed up with the lovely Rebekah and went around again to take more pictures, I’ve seen the man with the Blue Eyes and the beautiful smile I saw last year and asked for a picture again, that was a special moment, we loved watching Cheeky Girls and Union J and just before my shift ended we were asked to clean the toilets. Not the most fun thing to do, but someone has to do it, and we had a laugh doing it.

After my shift, I joined Darren, Donna, my UK mum and my brother Andi, my little Solent family for a well deserved drink. What a beautiful end to an already incredible day.

This is why I love volunteering. To be part of something so great, to make others smile. to be able to help in any way it’s a feeling nothing compares to.

Thank you to all the organisers, sponsors, Cunard in particular our main sponsor, it wouldn’t have been possible without them, and volunteers, paramedics, security guards, everyone who put together a spectacular, marvellous event for the city, especially Danny who asked me to do something I really enjoyed last year and because of him I had the opportunity to get on top of the Bargate the day before.

I hope more businesses support this great celebration to grow from year to year and remain free for all to enjoy.

If you want to be a part of something truly special, we are always looking for more volunteers. I can’t wait for next year!

PS. Thank you to whoever made the scrumptious chocolate cookies for the volunteers. They were so delicious I had five!

Eleni

A foster carer, a former priest and other super humans: A night to remember

Thursday, 14th of June

Hannah picked me up from home. We are heading to BySea cafe in Portswood. The next live storytelling event is about to start in a couple of hours and I’m a tiny bit nervous. But I can’t wait. Exhilarated.

I keep hearing this in my head. Somewhere in the desert there’s a forest…And an acre before us…

Today is going to be a special one, I can feel it. As soon as I’ve read about the speakers.

Hannah and I went early to set up. It was all done in less than half an hour, we even had time for a cup of tea and an enormous slice of cake. The portions at Bysea are huge.

I’m a little nervous because Debs asked me to host tonight’s event, talk at the start, introduce the speakers and bring it all to an end after the last speaker.

I love chatting but I never spoke in front of an audience before. I guess I did if you count the short speech at the last year of primary school, when I was 12 (which my cousin wrote for me, she was 18 at the time and was just about to study pedagogy to become a prime school teacher, she always wrote beautifully) and about 3 years ago the eulogy at my aunt’s funeral which again my cousin wrote, but this time it was for her mum and I was reading it on her behalf. Hardest thing I had to do in my life ever. To the day.

But I never ever spoke in English in front of an audience.

I don’t get too stressed nowadays, not any more but I was still a bit anxious. And also excited.

What’s the worst it could happen?

Just before 8pm.

The place is buzzing. Debs and Hannah were worried not many people will show up, there were a couple of other events on the same night, but the place is full.

Time to go up!

I don’t want to look at my notes much so I look around, at our guests, into their eyes.

God everyone is staring at me! Why?

You are talking to them you silly. You are the centre of the attention. They are supposed to look at and listen to you.

I panicked for a second and I forgot a couple of things I needed to say, it’s OK you can mention them late, so I went ahead and introduced our first speakers.

Jon and Chris.

(I struggled to find the right words that can capture the beauty of their story. I hope I did it justice).

A sweet couple, Jon and Chris came up on stage, and read out loud their story in turns. The story of their beloved daughter Katie. From the little I learned about her through her parents, she must have been an amazing human being. Despite all the tough ‘challenges’ (I hate this word, it cannot capture the pain, the torture, physical, emotional and mental that one can experience) life through at her, disability, cancer, she was determined to live life to the full.

She lived on her own, she drove, she studied at University and although when she was first diagnosed with cancer she was given a few years to live, she lived 17 more years. She proved them wrong!

She was incredibly strong, brave and considerate until the very end. The night before she died she listened to her friend talking about her everyday problems and worries, although she was in terrible pain herself. That’s the kind of person she was.

Jon and Chris went on to talk about how they are dealing with their grief, after Katie passed away 18 months ago and how their faith helped them. A friend once told Jon how grief is like a circle, the circle is all about the loved one you lost and at the start, you are in the centre of the circle, you cannot see past the sadness and the chaos. But as time goes by, you get out of the circle and it gets smaller, you can see beyond it, but it’s always there. You learn how to live with it. (I hope I remember it correctly, I got emotional at this point, it reminded me of my aunt, her death and how each of us are coping with it, in different ways, two and a half years later).

They took up new hobbies, e.g. Jon went on a cooking training class so she can teach others how to cook and they still do things Katie liked, not to reminisce and feel sad, but because they enjoy them too.

By the time they were done, I was already in tears. But it was time to get up and introduce the next speaker. I was so emotional I forgot to thank them publicly, on the mic, after I’ve given them their ‘I shared my story’ badges. What an idiot!

Dominic

Next up it was Dominic. He started off with a poem (he had the smoothest, most beautiful voice, I hope he seriously considers my suggestion of him start doing podcasts)…

Breathing under water

I built my house by the sea.

Not on the sands, mind you;
not on the shifting sand.
And I built it of rock.

A strong house
by a strong sea.
And we got well acquainted, the sea and I.
Good neighbors.
Not that we spoke much.
We met in silences.
Respectful, keeping our distance,
but looking our thoughts across the fence of sand.
Always, the fence of sand our barrier,
always, the sand between.

And then one day,
-and I still don’t know how it happened –
the sea came.
Without warning.

Without welcome, even
Not sudden and swift, but a shifting across the sand like wine,
less like the flow of water than the flow of blood.
Slow, but coming.
Slow, but flowing like an open wound.
And I thought of flight and I thought of drowning and I thought of death.
And while I thought the sea crept higher, till it reached my door.
And I knew, then, there was neither flight, nor death, nor drowning.
That when the sea comes calling, you stop being neighbors,
Well acquainted, friendly-at-a-distance neighbors,
And you give your house for a coral castle,
And you learn to breathe underwater.

Sr. Carol Bieleck, RSCJ
from an unpublished work

Dominic’s life was full of ups and downs, a friend used to call him Forrest Gump. And by the end of his talk I understood why.

The strict, often cruel teachers at the boarding school he went to, put him down, repeatedly told him he ‘won’t amount to much’.

Later in life he discovered he’d like to become a priest. It wasn’t an easy ride, he couldn’t even afford to buy the essentials on the list he was given, and he’d often borrow from the church in Portswood.

Five years after he became a priest, he suddenly, fell in love. He gave up priesthood to marry the love of his life.

After that he dealt with redundancy ‘One day I was a chief operative for a charity, the next day I was down at the job centre’ and other hurdles that came his way over the years.

His message: Life is unpredictable, you never know what the next day will bring you, but life is also beautiful, and when you learn to breath underwater, to face everything without drowning or giving up, you build a deepest, most meaningful appreciation for life.

Sam

The third speaker, Sam lost his dad to cancer about two years ago.

He found it hard to process his grief, until he discovered open water swimming. ‘Those fifteen minutes when swimming becomes automatic and you don’t have to think about moving your arms or your legs, those fifteen minutes of clarity of mind’.

When I heard this my mind went straight to meditation and how I feel when I do my yoga.

And just after I thought of that, surprisingly, Sam said ‘my friends told me when I described it to them, that’s similar to meditation’.

I kept thinking what was the one thing that helped me the most to overcome my grief three years ago. Writing. That’s what helped me. This blog.

Sam started a website since, Sporting Heads, where he shares stories, similar to his of mental health benefits of sports and exercise.

Jenny (ft Annie)

The last speaker Jenny (with the help of her dear friend Annie who interviewed her) is a foster carer. She fostered 52 children in 13 years!!

Jen shared incredible anecdotes of her life as a foster carer. What came across strongly was Jen’s unconditional love and care for the children, despite everything that comes with fostering a child.

A little girl she fostered used to defecate every time someone compliment her. Every time someone said ‘Isn’t she lovely?’. She is now doing much better, thanks to Jen.

This is just one of the many stories she shared with us.

Jen wouldn’t be able to do what she does without her support network, her friends, her family, her husband and ten children, and the community.

It’s not always easy, actually it’s not easy full stop. Most children come from troubled families, some they’ve been neglected others have been abused, they often struggle emotionally and physically, but with Jen’s love, care and patience, they grow stronger.

Annie read as a letter from one of Jenny’s foster children. It was impossible not to tear up.

I could sit and listen to these two ladies all night.

What a great way to end this wonderful evening.

At the end I got the chance to chat to some of these wonderful humans.

I asked Dominic about the poem he recited and told me how he came across it. He read it in a friend’s book, an American priest and was actually written by a nun. He gave me a copy to take home. What a sweet man.

I had a great chat with Annie, who I found out earlier amongst a million other things she does, she runs Communicare, a Southampton mental health charity tackling loneliness and isolation, which I recently signed up as a volunteer. Superwoman!

I went home feeling inspired, touched, blessed, happy, honoured I got to introduce and hear the stories of these amazing people.

If you have a story to share, get in touch. Everyone has a story. We all have a story. And that’s what Touch is all about, share our stories, learn from each other, touch each other’s lives.

And if you get the chance, come along to one of the events. Intimate, inspirational, so beautifully simple, humanity at it’s best.

Namaste

Eleni

On board PnO’s Ventura

I’m on a ship, having lunch, wine and a laugh with Liam, Jordan, Richard, Tansy, David and Cat.

How blessed am I? How did this even happen?

Last August I saw a post on Facebook urgently asking for last minute volunteers for Southampton Pride. Some of my favourite humans and officially the best hugger was going to be there, my dear Jaba, Mr Dixon, my brother Andi and others I didn’t expect. So I emailed the lovely Danny and I ended up having one of my best days of 2017.

Fast forward to last December, Cunard, one of the Pride’s sponsors offered free lunch for all volunteers on one of their beautiful ships but due to bad weather it was postponed.

A couple of weeks ago Danny messaged. The free lunch was to take place on Saturday, 21st of April. Who could say no to free lunch, on board one of PnO’s largest and newest cruiseships with lovely people?

I almost didn’t go. I had a crazy busy week and hadn’t slept enough in days. I was exhausted. But I knew I’d regret it if I missed it. Sometimes I just know. I have a gut feeling. I wish I listened to it more often.

But I got up around 9am, way too early for me on a Saturday, got ready and made it to Ocean Terminal on time.

I didn’t know anyone else there, although that didn’t phase me, I love people. But I didn’t know what to expect.

I surely didn’t expect a three course meal in a posh restaurant, with our own table waiter refilling our wine glasses. The food was lovely and the wine, delicious. I’ve recently became a big red wine aficionado and the red that came with our meal was divine.

The meal started with asparagus and devilled egg mayonnaise followed by baked rump of lamb and ended with dark chocolate mousse cake with praline surprise and coffee.

dark chocolate mousse cake with praline surprise

I also did not expect to meet so many incredible, fun, amazing humans. Richard’s laugh and all the smiley faces sum up the day beautifully.

After our scrumptious meal and a tiny bit giggly because of the wine, lovely Tom gave us a tour of the ship. We’ve walked through the main restaurants, the spa (my favourite part), the deck, the shops and our last stop was the art gallery.

Thank you to Danny, Tom, Cunard, PnO, everyone who put together this lovely day for us. I can’t wait for the next one.

And I can’t wait to volunteer for the next Southampton Pride in August. More volunteers are always needed, so if you fancy spending an awesome day helping out to run a beautiful, colourful, fun event, full of laughter and love, head on their website. This year it will be bigger than ever!

Namaste

Eleni

A beautiful evening of real life stories

I love a good story.

I love sharing my stories, not just my funny every day ones, but the more intimate, personal, vulnerable ones. That’s how this blog started originally, with What I learned before I turn 30… Sharing what I learned from my experiences so others can learn from them too…

So when browsing the Southampton Volunteer Services pages, Touch Network instantly grabbed my attention. A small Southampton charity getting every day people to share their stories. And I signed up to volunteer helping them out with the events they put together.

Last Wednesday I was invited by the lovely Hannah to go to their event to get an idea, and to help me decide if it’s for me.

As soon as I walked in and talked to Hannah, I felt the love and kindness in the room. I could tell from everyone’s faces. Sometimes I can just tell just by looking at people.

Hannah introduced me to Richard and his daughter Nikki and sat with them for the whole night. They were both so sweet and lovely.

Nikki was the first speaker. Her little boy arrived three months early and he had to spend 50 days at the hospital. She talked us through her experience as a first time mum, who couldn’t hold her baby for days, unsure whether he’d survive, how she coped with the guilt and the pain. It didn’t take long for my eyes to get all teary. It always amazes me how we humans cope with the most excruciatingly painful, unexpected situations life throws at us.

Next up was Clare. Talking about how music helped her through her most difficult times. Misdiagnosed with brain tumour, recently diagnosed with autism and rewinding her whole life, making sense of situations that baffled her before she knew about her autism. In the end she played us two gorgeous, beautiful songs she wrote on her guitar. Oh my. What a beautiful, sweet voice. She was amazing, I don’t think she knew how amazing she was.

After a short break I spent chatting to Richard about everything and anything, it was time for the next speaker Frances. Her whole life was a struggle, since she was a child. I couldn’t believe some of the things I’ve heard. Bullying, dealing with physical and mental illness but overcoming all to today helping others, although she still has to cope with her physical restraints. Funny, witty, emotional, real. Another amazing human who survived in this life because of the love and support of other amazing humans when she needed it the most.

Last but not least, Chix. What a man. A primary school teacher whose severe anxiety made him stop and re-evaluate his life. He talked about his ‘scientist vs artist’ challenge, as he is also a musician, an artist and how he now leads a more balanced life, spending more time with his friends and his family and also doing other things other than teaching. He talked about the being or becoming a teacher debate. Surely you have to have the charisma and personality to do so, you have to love it, I personally think but you can also learn as you go along.

Chix’s messages I remember the most: Invest in the special people in your life, make time for them. You know who they are, they are the ones who are there for you no matter what. Even if you haven’t spoken for a while. His friends and family, his special ones were there on the night to cheer him on.

And you can be whoever you are. You don’t have to be a scientist or an artist, you can be either, both or neither. Be who you want to be and just be happy.

I left feeling inspired and so incredibly blessed I got to meet all these amazing people and learn from their stories.

When Hannah asked me in the end of the night if I still wanted to volunteer after being at the event, I didn’t have to think twice.

The next event will take place on the 17th of May, at Solent and I can’t wait.

I have a feeling this is the start of something truly wonderful…

Eleni

My first Solent Open Day

Most of you spent the precious extra hour yesterday in bed.

I didn’t. But it was totally and utterly worth it.

A couple of weeks ago our External Relations department asked for any volunteers to work on Open Days the University runs for prospective students.

I love volunteering for events across the Uni, I learn so much and I enjoy doing something different as you know by now, so I signed up.

I didn’t realise I had to be at the University at 7:15am on a Sunday!

Early mornings is not my strongest point so I’m glad I had that extra hour. The morning walk was amazing. It was very quiet, I could only hear the birds and a car or two every now and then. There’s something special being awake, out and about when most people are still in bed.

I arrived at the Uni on time and the lovely Rebecca who plans and runs the Open Days at the University briefed us on what our duties would be on the day.

After a quick check of the teaching rooms and a warm, delicious coffee and a chocolate cookie we were ready to welcome our future students and their family and friends.

I was placed at the Atrium, where all the information stands were set, where all the action happens and I spent most of the day doing something I really love, chatting to people. I chatted to prospective students and their guests directing them where they wanted to go, answering any questions I could and of course talking to them about our impressive new building, the Spark.

Everyone was in awe of the Pod!

What I enjoyed the most was chatting to our Student Ambassadors. As most of support staff working at Universities, especially in my most recent position at Solent, I don’t get to talk to students as often (or work with them as I used to), the ones who we really work for, to make their experience the best it can get. I think all staff should spend time with students, it’s an eye opener.

I loved hearing them talk about their course, how much they enjoy and love it, what they want to do next, their dreams about the future, unspoiled and untouched by the harsh reality of being an adult. And I loved sharing what I learnt from my life so far and advising them to be bold and fearless, follow their dreams NOW and not wait for anything.

Nicola, who did an amazing job as a team leader on the day, studies Acoustic Engineering and she told me all about her amazing dissertation proposal. Unfortunately I can’t share it in case someone reads this and steals her idea.

Deana is studying Criminology, which she absolutely loves and she wants to move to London after her studies. I loved my time with Deana, we talked about food, TV shows and movies (Stranger Things was mentioned a lot!), her life as a student and her struggles. At that moment I realised how similar student life is to single adult life (or maybe how similar is my life to student life…) but also how much I learned and changed since I left Uni.

Maria is studying Fine Art and she is moving to Portsmouth to work at the Historic Dockyard after she finishes her studies!

I also got the chance to talk to Greek and Cypriot students. Oh I loved it so much. Talking in my mother language to young Greeks. I felt like their eldest sister, giving them advice and listening to their dreams and aspirations. It made me miss home but it also felt like home.

I thoroughly enjoyed talking to some of our academics and course leaders and learn about the amazing work they do. Baxter the robot impressed everyone who interacted with it!

I’d describe the whole experience as a big party, a celebration of our University. Academics, support staff, students, future students all together in our beautiful teaching space.

I’m still tired and my legs hurt but I’d do it every day if I could. I’d advise any University staff to volunteer to help with Open Days. You’ll learn more than you expect about the University, our staff and students. And you’ll spend a day with lovely colleagues.

Thank you to Rebecca who let me be part of this.

Eleni