family – Page 3 – Lessons I learned after I turned 30

Blogmas day 25- Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Today is all about spending time with the family, so I’ll keep it short and sweet.

I’d like to wish all my friends, old and new and my family Merry Christmas and Χρόνια Πολλά.

I hope you all have a wonderful day with your loved ones.

I’m blessed to have an awesome family, a warm home and plenty of food to celebrate today and I cannot not think of those who may be spending today with none of these. I’m sending you my warmest thoughts and hugs.

Blogmas was an amazing experience, I loved posting daily but it takes time and effort and I’m glad that I can now have a break. Thank you to all the wonderful people who have been following my first ever Blogmas attempt. I hope you enjoyed it.

I’ll try and post later in the week, reflecting on 2017, but for now Merry Christmas from sunny Cyprus!

Namaste

Eleni

Blogmas day 21- Flying home for Christmas

I woke up with upset stomach and hoping I won’t be sick. But I’m on my way to the airport.

I can’t wait. I can’t wait until the plane lands in Larnaca and I run outside to hug my sisters.

By the time you get to read this I might be home already.

Going home twice or three times a year if I’m lucky is vital for my mental wellbeing. Being with my people, my loved ones, the ones who know me better than anyone else, the ones I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not because I don’t have to is one of the very few things that makes me happy, unconditionally. That’s what home means to me. Being with people who make you feel you can be yourself and enjoy each moment.

Every time I visit I come back with a newly found desire and surge of energy to move on and chase my dreams. It reminds me of who I really am, what I’m capable of and how no matter what happens my friends and family will always be there, even if they are thousands of miles away. They’ll always believe in me.

I’m getting emotional already.

Just before I go, I want to thank my amazing Southampton friends and colleagues, I love you all and I can’t wait to catch up in 2018.

Next post will be tomorrow, from Cyprus whilst chilling on the sofa with a cup of coffee, Anna snuggled next to me and and Oscar sitting on my lap. Pure bliss.

Namaste

Eleni

Blogmas day 20- Last Christmas meal and goodbyes

A morning Blogmas today for a change.

I’ll be at work all day and in the evening our team and special friends are going out for a three course meal at Carnicero. I haven’t had a steak for ages, last time it was in Florence, the infamous Bistecca Alla Fiorentina and I can’t wait for dinner time. Carnicero has great reviews and one of the harshest food critics I personally know, Mark Dixon approves, so I have high expectations. I hope it won’t disappoint.

After dinner I’m rushing home to pack the last few things before catching the morning train to Gatwick tomorrow. I love airports. People hugging, saying goodbye, leaving, going somewhere, coming home, crying, laughing. And at Christmas time it always reminds me of the airport scenes in Love Actually. People going or coming home to spend Christmas with their nearest and dearest. I cry every time.

I enjoy Blogmas, I really do but it takes up a lot of time and effort. I’m mentally and physically exhausted. I look forward to Blogmas day 25. After that I’ll take a break from Social Media but the occasional tweet or photo from my wonderful home island.

I’d like to write a post reflecting back on 2017, it’s been an amazing year with many ups and downs and I’m hoping to do that just before 2018 is here.

The only thing I want to share with you now, something I often remind myself when my mum will get over excited sending me messages of love, is to appreciate and shower with love the people who love you, help you and support you, whatever happens. Those are the ones who really matter.

Today is the last time I’ll see Andi for a while since he is leaving Solent tomorrow. I love you and I’ll really really miss not seeing you every day. You are the older brother I’ve always wanted. You are an amazing human and I have no doubt you’ll do amazing in London. They are lucky to have you.

Next blog will be posted on my way home!

Namaste

Eleni

The Christmas story of Eddie the teddy.

December 2015…

I lived in the most gorgeous place I’ve ever lived in Southampton, a three bed, three bathroom flat with en suite and walking wardrobe in the enormous main bedroom (every woman’s dream), on Northlands road, a beautiful residential area next to the Common, where I could see the fountain in the middle of the square and all the beautiful houses from my kitchen’s french doors.

I had split up with my ex-boyfriend of seven years but we still lived together, our contract didn’t end until February. We had decided a month earlier since we were to remain friends and this would have been our last Christmas together neither of us would go home, I hadn’t been home for Christmas for six years, but we were spending Christmas together, as friends.

I’m one of those people who don’t believe there’s a point remaining friends with ex-boyfriends, I don’t keep in touch with any of my exes but I thought this would be different. We were together for seven years, he wasn’t just my boyfriend, he was my best friend.

When he found out I was dating someone else after we broke up, (yes, rebound… yes I regretted it….it put me off men since) he was devastated, apparently he thought we would get back together eventually, get married, have kids and live happily ever after, although when I asked him whether the break-up was final, his exact words (word by word translation from Greek) were ‘It’s better not to think we will ever get back together’.

He booked a ticket to go home, just a week before Christmas.

I was left alone with no plans a week before Christmas. I could not afford a ticket home, they got incredibly expensive by then and although my parents offered to pay, I knew they could not afford it either, they would have probably borrowed money and I’d never let them do that. I’d rather stay home alone.

At the same time all of this was happening I received three gifts from my family back home (the allegory made me giggle when I re-read this part), a notebook and a snowman ornament (I used to tease my sisters with this snowman cuddly toy I had at home, I made up a ‘snowman’ song, and although they pretended they didn’t like it, they secretly loved it) from my sisters and a teddy bear from my mum. I had sent her flowers and a teddy bear for her birthday in November and whenever she misses me she holds the teddy, so mum said ‘Whenever you miss us, hold the teddy’.

Eddie the teddy survived three house moves, impressive as my tendency to lose things is not getting better, it’s been sitting on my bed for the last two years and I hold it tight when the going gets tough. I hold it when there’s a thunderstorm, I’m terrified of thunders although I know I shouldn’t, I hold it when I miss my family and I hold it when I’m feeling down. Last time I held it was Monday night.

It was a tough day. The death of Christine, a colleague fighting cancer for the last year, farewell lunch of Sophie, the first member of our little team leaving and I received some news I cannot share yet. As soon as I walked outside work I burst into tears. I really needed a hug from my parents or my sisters. But the closest thing I had was the teddy.

It really helps to have something reminding me I’m never alone, even when I feel I am. We all have inanimate objects that are special to us.

The heart shaped earrings I wear most days are a gift to myself when I needed a confidence boost, the heart-shaped ring and bracelet I normally wear are gifts from my sisters, the cross pendant I never take off is a gift from my godson and my cousin, my favourite shirt is a gift from my little sister, the bowl and silver tree decorating my living room are gifts from my best friends, the chocolate flower (minus the chocolate) on my desk at work is a Valentine gift from my brother from another mother and the list goes on…

All of these remind me how much I’m loved by amazing people and give me strength when I need it the most.

It is not silly or childish and don’t let anyone persuade you otherwise. Our loved ones can’t be with us every time we need them, especially if they live in another country like most of mine do and these little, meaningless to others things, make a huge difference for me and keep me going. There are a daily reminder. They all lead to one thing.

They all lead to love. It’s all about love. And I’m blessed to be loved by so many special, sweet, loving humans.

I’d love to know the little things that are precious to you and the stories behind them.

If you are wondering, this Christmas story did have a happy ending. I spent that Christmas with my best friend and her family in Luton and it was one of the best Christmas days I ever had full of laughter, food and dancing. I then spent a day wandering in sunny December London, watched Matilda the musical and stayed in the Shard, in the most amazing room with breathtaking views. That fairytale had a bad ending but Christmas 2015 was great.

The end

Eleni

A different kind of Monday

Happy Monday!

I started this blog last night but I was really tired I couldn’t finish it. So posting it first thing in the morning for a change.

Today is a different kind of Monday. I’m not dreading it. Much. It’s still Monday….

But tomorrow night I’m heading to the airport. And on Wednesday, early morning I’ll reunite with my best friends, my soulmates, my sisters!

We will spend two days in Florence and four days in Rome. First time in Italy, for all of us. I can’t even describe how excited I am!

To explore a new country, a country I wanted to visit for so long, but the circumstances didn’t allow it, and to do that with my sisters, first time we’ll all be on holiday at a country other than home (Cyprus) or… home (UK) is overwhelmingly amazing.

I spent Saturday doing chores, with a break for coffee and catch the last rays of sunshine with my bestie and to get new books to read from Oxfam as I finished Perfume (review coming soon!).

Yesterday I completely lost concentration, I started worrying whether my sisters will make it to Rome, what if I miss my flight and a wave of other irrational thoughts made their way in and I felt lost. I didn’t know what thing to do first on my long to-do list. But after my Yoga practice (which co-incidentally was about mental focus and concentration, what are the chances!) I focused on the session’s mantra- I got this!- and got on with almost everything I needed to do. Only a couple last minute things to do today after work and I’m all set!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BYid6JshBd1/?taken-by=eleni_zenonos

https://www.instagram.com/p/BYk0-FHhsoc/?taken-by=eleni_zenonos

I recently started meditating and practising mindfulness when I can’t sleep, which happens often and it definitely made a difference! I’ll write about it when I get the chance.

I’ve once read that more than often people crave a holiday and plan everything to the dot and then are disappointed when the time comes as their expectations don’t match reality. Which makes sense.

But I love doing the opposite. Exploring and see where it leads rather than meticulous planning is my favourite thing to do and it never failed. That’s what Shebz and I did in Berlin last year and we had the best of times.

And I’m sure Italy won’t let me down!

I know it’s only a short break, (which includes FriendsFest in London after Italy!) and it won’t change my life, or maybe it will, you never know, but it’s exactly what I need right now.

It will be incredible if I meet an Italian hunk and we go sailing in the Mediterranean afterwards rather than come back, as I’ve been joking for the last week, but it’s highly unlikely that will happen. A girl can only dream though!

I still have high hopes for September!

I’ll miss blogging but my next one will be a special one! A travel post (which will of course include local cuisine) on bella Italia.

I will be posting snaps on my Insta if you want to follow my Italian ventures.

Until then…

Namaste

Eleni

My star of a sister Stella

I haven’t posted for a while… although there is so much I wanted to write about (interesting books I read, things I got to do, ask for ideas for career/city/country move inspiration), but I didn’t get the chance. Will do after I come back from my summer visit to my beautiful island.

Before I go on writing about my sister, I hope you are all well and you haven’t been affected by the most recent terrorist attacks. If you have (and you might have, even if you were not in London on that horrific night, indirect trauma exposure can cause PTSD), I hope you stay strong, I cannot even imagine how it might feel. I wasn’t there but I was genuinely terrified on Saturday night, I hardly got any sleep. As most of us, I have friends and relatives in London and I sweat worrying about them until I knew they were safe (especially my cousin who only recently moved to London, I don’t even want to say out loud what horrible thoughts were going through my mind). I’m not going to say any more on that but I posted my thoughts on FB. (https://www.facebook.com/eleni.zenonos/posts/10154834034647326?pnref=story)

And one more thing, I cannot not mention the General Election. I unfortunately found out after I booked my ticket home and after the registration deadline that I’m allowed to vote as I’m a Commonwealth citizen. I really don’t know what will happen with Brexit, the NHS, the economy but what I’d say if you are registered to vote, vote for policies, not people.

A year ago I flew home the day of the referendum and I was shocked with the result (incidentally I fly home the day before the General Election this week). It goes to show that you should expect the unexpected, so if you care, please go and vote. I sincerely hope that the United Kingdom is not turned into a dictatorship state.

Now back to the purpose of this post…

A while ago I posted about my youngest sister and I wanted to post about my second sister, Stella but I was waiting for her birthday. Well I will be with her and the rest of the family spending the day at the beach on her birthday, so I decided to post this now, just before I meet her at the airport on Wednesday!

Stella, our little star is the prime example of love, caring, devotion and sensitivity.

She was always a bit wild and short-tempered (and stubborn, our family trend). She never enjoyed reading or studying but she studied what she always wanted, culinary arts and she is now a cook to the delight of all of us enjoying her delicious creations.

Since she was a child she always tried to hide her sensitive side but her kindness and love always shines through. I’m not exaggerating to the least to say she has been the rock of the whole family, close and extended.

Every time anyone in the family or her friends/colleagues is not feeling well, she is the first to go and help. She is the one sitting with them at the hospital ward, in A&E, she is the one driving hours to get to them. She is the one bringing friends or colleagues who have nowhere to go for Christmas or New Year’s eve to spend it with the family.

She was recently telling me how she spent hours with the team of the dog shelter she volunteers for, looking for an abandoned dog that got its head trapped in a plastic bottle and how happy she was when they found and rescued it- they are still looking for a foster home for it if you live in Cyprus and you can help.(https://www.facebook.com/elena.elen.585/posts/1459388790795049?pnref=story?

We used to fight a lot when we were kids but as we grew up we became best friends and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. She supported and supports me with literally everything even though we live thousands of miles apart. She is always there for me and I’ll always be there for her.

Although she wants to come across as tough, we all know what a sensitive soul she is.

She is my shining star (she couldn’t have had a more suitable name) and I couldn’t be more proud of her. I love her to the moon and back. And can’t wait to spend the next 10 days with her and the rest of my family and friends. Love you Αρφούι!

If there are people like her in the world, terrorism and racism and all these social diseases, cannot prevail, they just can’t!

My next post will be after the Snowdonia Climb a group of colleagues and I are doing for a wonderful cause telling you all about it! (for more details and if you want to donate/share this is our gofundme page: https://www.gofundme.com/Snowdonia-Superstars-for-Tempo-Wellbeing)

Love you all x

Happy birthday my little duckling!

20 years ago, when I was about 11, my parents asked me if I wanted to get another dog as we gave away our little Steve because he was too naughty, or another little brother or sister instead. I wanted both but I was only allowed to choose one so I went for another sibling. To this day, my parents still claim that having my little sister was my decision!

I still remember the day my mum peed on that stick and found out she was pregnant. We were screaming and laughing excited for the new addition in our little family.

A year later, 19 years ago, on this day, 17th of February 1998, on a sunny Tuesday morning, my sister and I woke up but our parents were not home. My cousin who studied to become a teacher at the time was there instead and told us that our mum went into labour! So after a brief stop at my cousin, her brother’s high school to give him his spare pair of glasses, we arrived at the clinic. I still remember that rare feeling of sheer happiness, waiting impatiently for our little baby to arrive.

My mum never had contractions naturally so she walked and down the corridor with an IV in hand, waiting for the little sister to decide to make an appearance!

My cousin who was to be the little sis godmother, who is also my godson’s mum wanted to stay for the birth but she had a lecture and the doctor, Dr Papapetrou reassured her that the baby wasn’t gonna come any time soon. And my beloved aunt Anna, my cousin’s mum, mum’s sister who was there when my sister and I were born was there once again with my mum, to hold her hand and welcome the little sis.

Little did the doctor know! 10-15 minutes later, at 9:20am, little Anna arrived in this world! She was a tiny little thing, with bright red cheeks and rich dark hair. I remember watching the nurse through the glass changing her nappy, I couldn’t believe that was my little sister.

For the first month or so I was scared to hold her. I used to bathe her in the washing clothes basket because she was so small and I was terrified I might drop her.

Over the years I changed her nappies, I sang her to sleep, I was her babysitter, entertainer, her first teacher, her first friend. I was lucky to be old enough to remember her first laughter, her christening, her first words, her first walk, her first day at school…

She was the youngest of the whole family and we all loved to spoil her. And she was very spoilt! But she was raised with love, values and respect and I’m so proud she grew to be an amazing young woman, although in my eyes she is still a baby.

And amazing she is. She excelled at school, she learned to play the violin, the flute and the piano (oh my she used to play for hours, without anyone asking her to and we used to beg her to stop, but nothing could stop her!) she learned to sing, she won awards in Maths and writing competitions, she got involved in a lot of conferences and events, and she got a place at uni, now on her first year studying what she always wanted, Maths. And recently got a slot at the uni radio station to present her own music show.

I’ve been away for years and that meant I missed a lot of these amazing moments, but I was there for her graduation last summer. It was very emotional and wonderful watching my little duckling walk down the same steps of the same high school my cousins my other sister and I went to, get her certificate with honours and sing in front of all the proud parents, family and teachers who were there that night.

She made and is making us all proud not only because of all her achievements but because she grew to be a loving, respectful and caring person. She still has to learn a lot in life but I knew nothing about life when I was 19 either, I still don’t know much, and I can’t wait to see what she will come up with next!

Yeah, she can sometimes be annoying as she got the stubbornness we all inherited in the family but I’m really proud (I might have mentioned that too many times already) of my little sister.

I’m proud of both of my sisters (blog about my other awesome sister coming soon) and feel amazingly blessed and lucky to be their eldest sister.

They are the best gifts my incredible parents gave me.

Happy birthday! Χρόνια πολλά μικρή μου. Love you to the moon and back.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, let’s hope it’s a good one without any tears (well maybe some tears, mostly happy ones)

This is it! 2016 it’s almost over. And what a year it has been… The next few weeks will be very busy so this is the only chance I get to post before 2017 is upon us and I really wanted to so here it goes…

Many many lessons learned in 2016 that won’t fit in one post but if I have to choose the most important ones then they’ll have to be:

Trust yourself and be yourself. Self-confidence and believing in yourself is hard in this cruel world but it’s only one you and that’s what makes sou special, so trust your instincts and not be afraid to be you.

There are a lot of mean people out there, more than I thought (and fortunately a lot of nice and kindhearted, wonderful human beings), so you can’t be nice all the time and to everyone. I never really make any new year resolutions but I decided that this year I won’t let anyone spoil it for me anymore. Kick ass if I have to!

If something is too good to be true, then it probably is not.

And finally do whatever makes you happy! You see life is never easy, well not for all of us anyway, it’s hard as it is so don’t compromise, do whatever makes your heart beat faster.

All in all it’s been a fun year, full of laughter and I’m really happy I made new friends, became a godmother, tried new things, including starting this blog which helped me immensely with my confidence, getting over situations and making sense of life, done some silly things too but it has been rough at times. And I reached my breaking point more than once.

Apologies to my friends I haven’t seen for a while, it’s been tough couple of months but I promise I’ll make it up.

It’s been tough for a lot of us across the world with terrorist attacks, homophobic attacks, Brexit, Donald Trump elected as the US president, the crisis in Syria and many many more…

For me…

2016 found me starting my life from scratch, this time on my own, heartbroken, confidence at its lowest, in grief…

After 30 years I had to learn to live on my own and depend solely on myself. I never liked asking for help even from my other half or my family so it was a hell of a journey.

But I’m very proud of how far I come. I made mistakes, I took risks when I shouldn’t but I learned to trust and believe in myself and I know now that whatever happens, I can face it, however hard it might get.

And now it’s finally time for a little break, I’m going to have the most amazing Christmas and NYE and then new adventures await. I literally have no idea where I’ll be in a month’s time, but I hope everything will work out in the end. And if not, oh well I guess I’ll learn something new.

I never had much money and neither did my family. They still live in an old building which might collapse at any time.

But we learned to fight and do our best to provide for each other. We always cared more about each other than ourselves. We learned to live with little and appreciate the little things, we learned that it’s not important to get what you want, because it might not be possible, but we learned to always try our best with what we’ve got. We learned to love unconditionally.

We never needed the fanciest cars, the most expensive gifts or the newest phones to be happy.

We are the happiest when we are together having a laugh even at hard times, caring about each other, helping others, and that’s what it really matters. It’s always been about love and being grateful for what we have and I’m so happy and proud I was raised in such an amazing family. I wouldn’t change that for all the money in the world.

One day, if I have my own family, I’ll consider myself very lucky if I’m as half as a good parent as my parents are.

I have hundreds of Christmas wishes, my letter to Santa is quite long but if I only had one wish is for all of my loved ones to be happy, healthy and safe. If you are an expat or your family lives far away, you know exactly what I mean. It’s heartbreaking not to be able to be there whenever my sister or my dad has an accident or my aunt is sick or…

And one of my lifelong dreams is to one day be able to buy a house for my family (and build my own house exactly as I imagined it, but I don’t mind if that never happens) so I don’t have to worry about them. Which is wishing for the impossible but a girl can dream.

I never cared about having the most expensive clothes, bags or make-up. If you know me you probably know that. I’m not the prettiest or the fanciest dresser but I spend most of my money on bills (living on my own costs A LOT and sacrificing this won’t be easy), trips, gigs, experiences, spending time with friends, getting gifts for friends and family. And I wouldn’t change that for anything.

I sometimes worry about the future, it’s only natural but as long as I’m happy and do my best, I leave the rest to the universe.

I’ll leave you with this, which couldn’t be more true.

Merry Christmas to all of you and your families.

I hope all your Christmas wishes come true!

I know one of mine will 🙂

And I hope 2017 is much better for all of us. Amen.

Love you all! x

4 months ago…part 2… dedicated to my aunt Anna…

LESSON 6 and the most important one: ENJOY EVERY MOMENT, YOU NEVER KNOW IF IT WILL BE YOUR LAST ONE. IF YOU DIE TOMORROW, AT LEAST YOU’LL DIE HAPPY!

17th of October, 2015… A day I will never forget…

My ex drove me to the airport on that Saturday morning. We were both lost in our own thoughts and worries… It was one of the longest drives ever but I tried to follow my own advice… take a day at a time and focus on the present (which is easier said than done, I know).

Throughout the 4.5 hour flight I tried to mentally prepare myself of what was I about to face. The plan was to drive straight from the airport to the hospital at 9pm as my beloved aunt’s life was hanging by a thread…She smiled when they told her I was going…I really wanted to see her before she died…

My cousin warned me that what I was going to see wasn’t pretty, my aunt wasn’t breathing on her own, she couldn’t talk, only blink and sigh, her body started to melt, she was full of jaundice… But for me she was still my aunt and I wanted to see her and tell her that I’m there and that I love her…

I kept thinking how difficult life she had. Back in 1974, during the Turkish invasion in Cyprus she was captured by the Turks, when she was only 15 years old, and luckily a kind-hearted officer dressed her up as an old lady so she doesn’t get raped and helped her escape.

She was intelligent, loved reading, she was one the best students in her class and she got a place at a Greek university to study French. But just before she was about to go, she met the man she loved until her last breath, (even after all that he’s done to her) and decided to get married and have a family instead.

After her husband abandoned her, she was left on her own, with no money, no food. At some point a snake sneaked in the house and no one could do anything about it, she spent sleepless nights worrying..

She suffered a lot, I won’t get into more details but she didn’t feel true happiness for years…

She was a loving person who adored everyone and always wanted to make everyone else happy…putting her self last.

LESSON 7- Love yourself and do whatever makes you happy. It’s not selfish to think about yourself first, it’s essential.

And after all she’s been through, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. And she suffered immense pain for a whole year. But through all of this she never complained and until the end she only thought about others. She didn’t deserve this horrible end. No one does. CANCER SUCKS!

She loved to cook and take care of everyone. She made the best pastitsio and keftedes!

She always started the beautiful text messages she used to sent to me with ‘To my beloved Eleni… ‘ and ended with ‘Love, your aunt Anna’…

Back to that night.. we drove straight to the hospital…My heart was pounding so loudly I could actually hear it…

I walked into the room… I couldn’t believe that person was my aunt, she looked like someone else, what was left of her after cancer and chemotherapies, hormone therapies, radiotherapies, liver failure, kidney failure… I don’t want and can’t describe in great detail what I’ve seen, I will only say she looked like a person dying… that image and that smell will always be in my memory. My voice was trembling, my mouth was dry… I managed to say ‘Hi, I’m here’ …

My cousin (who was pregnant at the time) started shouting ‘ She is not breathing, she is not breathing’. My aunt’s ex-husband and daughter in law were next door waiting for the nurses to finish changing her clothes and bedsheets.. they didn’t know …

She died just 10 minutes before we got there… She died on her own.

LESSON 8- Tell the people you love and care about how you feel about them often, you never know when it’s the last time you see them.

I feel in my heart that’s what she wanted… she didn’t want to die in front of her loved ones, she knew it would be more difficult for them to get over it… so she waited and died whilst the nurses were changing her clothes… The doctor had to run to an emergency call and she didn’t have time to inform the relatives before we arrived… We were the first who saw her dead.

I couldn’t believe she was gone, I couldn’t believe I was 10 minutes late… I kissed her on the forehead and mumbled ‘rest in peace’ I tried hard to hold my tears and comfort my cousin…I kept staring at her… she was finally free from the pain but no longer with us… We sat around for hours until her son arrived (who I hadn’t seen for years), we didn’t want to tell him on the phone that she died…he had a special bond with his mum and he struggled to handle all of this…

That was the worst night of my life… followed by the worst week of my life… Since then with everything else that happened later on(posts to follow) I haven’t been myself..I still sometimes struggle to believe she is gone and I will never see her again…

continues at part 3…

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