Tag: love

My last One Sound

Last Saturday…

The curtains open. I’m ready to sing and dance my heart out. I feel rough but I couldn’t miss this even if I was dying. I’m standing next to the lovely Marie who’s wearing a beautiful bright yellow dress and gorgeous colourful earrings. It’s her first ever One Sound, I can’t stop thinking about my first One Sound and how excited I was and I’m so happy I can see her excitement too, I can only imagine how she must feel. I see Mike on the side of the stage, smile to him and I get into position.

I catch a glimpse of Dan, standing in the middle, ready to guide and keep us in tune and in time, reminding us to smile sometimes just by smiling himself. I can’t believe this is the last time I will perform at this amazing show, last time I’ll look for Dan’s smiling face every time I unsuccessfully try to remember the next line.

I can’t believe how something so simple like joining a workplace choir would lead to singing at the Mayflower, shopping centres, fairs, Christmas events to flashmobs at West Quay and Graduation, to sold out choir collaboration shows and making friends for life.

An ordinary Tuesday, November 2013

My colleague Lilian invited me to join her on the new ‘Lunchtime Glee’ sessions, an initiative to improve staff wellbeing. I thought why not. I wasn’t feeling my best at the time. I was in an unhappy relationship, I hated myself and work started to become a not so pleasant place to be. I desperately needed even just a little ray of sunshine in my dark, depressing life.

I walk in, I see Dan’s smiling face for the first time ever and after an hour of singing Mama Mia and having a laugh with colleagues, for the first time in years I felt happy, pure happiness. I completely forgot about anything else.

That was the best decision I ever made.

About a year and a half later we had our first performance, at the Hanger Farm Art Centre. I still remember the nerves, the excitement, we were buzzing for days after that. It’s hard to understand how from singing to a small audience we now perform on a huge stage with hundreds of other singers in front of a sold out Guildhall.

Since I joined Lunchtime Glee, my confidence slowly improved and I met my best friend, one of my soulmates, Sheba who was there for me since then, through all the changes, the dramas and together we made some of the most amazing memories I’ll never forget.

Because of Lunchtime Glee and Dan, I met Jack, Claire, Helena, Pat, Ray, Julie, Jo, Amy, Ann, Lucy, Christina, Sandi, Lesley, Rachel and so many others who for two years let me be part of the most loving, caring, singing family, Sing Now choir. That was exactly what I needed in my life at that point and I wouldn’t be where I am today without their love, support and encouragement.

Though I left Sing Now almost two years ago, every time I see these wonderful humans is like nothing changed. They always welcome me with a warm hug.

I’d recommend to every single one of you to join a choir. Don’t worry if you can’t sing, that’s not what is all about. Singing and having a laugh with other lovely humans, forgetting about your troubles for an hour or two and just enjoying yourself and feeling happy, that’s the best remedy for most of life’s problems.

I’ve written about it many times before… these are just some of the highlights:

https://elenisworld.org/2016/03/19/my-choir-family/

https://elenisworld.org/2016/04/11/what-a-week/

https://elenisworld.org/2017/04/30/one-sound-one-year-later/

https://elenisworld.org/2018/12/18/blogmas-day-18-the-last-2018-ssu-staff-choir-performance/

so I won’t go into all the amazing days I had with my choir families in more detail, I just want to thank Dan and Jack for their love, creativity and passion for what they do, their kindness and professionalism and genuine care about their choir members’ wellbeing. I’d recommend Singforce, Sing Now or any projects these two wonderful humans are involved with to anyone, with no hesitation.

A big thank you to all my wonderful choir friends for all the incredible memories I’ll cherish for ever. I love you all and I will miss you dearly. I will always think of you every Tuesday lunchtime and every time I see a choir.

Eleni

Today I feel…

I came across a post yesterday on ‘Things that help with anxiety’ (or depression). I can’t remember exactly what it said -and I spent hours looking for it to no avail- other than one of the suggestions:

‘Every day write down how you feel…’

I suddenly had a light bulb moment. That’s what I need to do. I don’t really feel like writing or doing anything for that matter but maybe it will help, since my usual coping techniques haven’t been as effective lately.

I haven’t been feeling that well the last few days. Tired, drained, sad, numb, but also angry, easily irritated (I never felt so angry about the shitty weather, people being loud and other trivial, little things), anxious. A wonderfully disastrous cocktail of emotions. Hormones may have played a part (that week of the month, yes I’m talking about my period) but there’s more to that.

I didn’t do much at the weekend. I was so tired and drained I felt I couldn’t leave the house. And I didn’t. I felt horrible I didn’t go to see Kathy but I had no energy, I wouldn’t have been able to take her out for a walk.

I spent most of my time doing laundry (lots of laundry), watching TV, reading, a bit of singing on my guitar, some yoga. I felt better but my brain still worked overtime. I felt paralysed, as if the sofa and I were firmly bolted together, (though I managed to clean and make dinner) and at the same time the guilt of not doing much and obsessing on meaningless things for hours e.g. who was the actress in that film?Who DID we fight at World War I? was unbearable.

I put the first episode of After Life, Ricky Gervais’s new Netflix series on, about a man whose wife dies and he is in so much pain he decides to punish the world, and I was hooked instantly.

It was funny, sad, depressing, raw, unfiltered, saying out loud some of the horrible thoughts we all sometimes have but not dare say (I’ve read on the Guardian that some may be put off by the first episode because of Tony’s, the main character, apparent rudeness but I thought quite the opposite, that’s what makes it relatable, that’s what happens when you are in pain, it’s not nice but it happens) , and so very real. Anyone who has lost someone or who’s been depressed would relate. Also, great soundtrack.

I won’t reveal any spoilers but one of the messages coming out of the show was something I often torture my brain with. What is the point of living? Why do we try? Why live if we can’t think of a reason to stay alive?

Happiness is amazing. It’s so amazing it doesn’t matter if it’s yours or not. There’s that lovely thing: “A society grows great when old men plant trees the shade of which they know they will never sit in”. Good people do things for other people. That’s it. The end. Anne told Tony. Maybe that’s all there is. Live to make this world a better place. Do it for others if you can’t do it for yourself. Maybe.

It’s only 6 episodes and it’s meant to be a comedy, so it doesn’t go too deep but it’s definitely worth a watch.

https://www.netflix.com/title/80998491

Whilst talking to the little sis earlier today, I realised I go through a similar phase around this time of the year. A bout of sadness and numbness I can’t easily get out of, even with my best remedies in place. I normally go back to Cyprus for a week to restart, soak in the sunshine and the warmth, sit by the sea watching the waves…

… but this year it’s different. Ι don’t know when I’m going home yet but the little sister is visiting in three days. I can’t wait though I’m sad the other sis can’t join us. We planned an awesome week and it’s exactly what I need right now.

So how do I feel today? I feel better, though still sad, tired and incredibly anxious. I wish I was in the warmth and the sunshine by the sea but I’m also excited for the week ahead, dinner with friends, the little sister’s arrival, Linda’s leaving lunch, New Forest, London, Wicked, Brussels, Bruges. It’s gonna be a great one!

There won’t be a post this week but I’ll be back in a couple of weeks recharged and refreshed with plenty of stories and pictures.

Happy Monday and happy Green Monday to everyone celebrating Green Monday. Some of my most precious memories are sitting at the back of my uncle’s truck with my cousins, spending the day in the field trying to fly a kite, loving the strictly ‘lenten’ food, no meat or dairy but starving by the afternoon and my mum caving and let us eat whatever we fancied.

Anyway, time to finish work, go home and prepare for making more great memories later on this week.

PS if you are not at your best, try writing down how you feel. It works wonders.

Namaste

Eleni

Chat with a 91 year old

‘My dad used to say ‘always keep moving’, that’s the secret of still feeling young when you grow old’ Kathy told me after I complimented her for looking way younger than 91. That’s something I’ll always remember.

Saturday morning

I got up early, had breakfast, got ready quickly and I was out of the house in half an hour. I put my headphones on but I was distracted with the sea of people in town, so I took them off. One of the cruise ships must have stopped at the port, as I picked out strong American accents from a large group wearing cowboy hats and further down another gang dressed up fancy.

Back to my mission. I was on my way to visit my new, 91 year old friend Kathy. I met Kathy a week ago, on Valentine’s day actually and I couldn’t wait to see her again.

I’ve always wanted to sign up for befriending at one of the charities I help with events, Communicare and as soon as I came back home after Christmas that’s one of the first things I did.

After a DBS background check and filling in a couple of forms I met Kathy, a 91 year old lovely lady who absolutely loves having company, at lunchtime last week with Bryony, the volunteer co-ordinator. After our visit I messaged Bryony to let her know I thought Kathy and I were a great match and that was it.

I will now once a week (or more often if I have time) spend some time chatting with Kathy.

I was a bit nervous on my way there, it will be the first time we’ll be alone together…

‘Will she be happy to see me?’

‘What if we ran out of things to say?’

But after 5 minutes talking to her, nerves disappeared.

Kathy is remarkable. Intelligent, creative, funny and despite her dementia she can perfectly hold a conversation and oh my what wonderful conversations we had so far. I’ve learned so much from her already and we only hang out twice.

‘My dad used to say ‘always keep moving’, that’s the secret of still feeling young when you grow old’ Kathy told me after I complimented her for looking way younger than 91. That’s something I’ll always remember.

I left her flat, walking in the sunshine, with a big grin on my face, thinking about the incredible life she had and feeling blessed I met her.

That’s why I love what Communicare and other similar charities do. I volunteer some of my time which people always find impressive but I get so much more out of it than I give. Older people have wisdom, incredible stories and knowledge in abundance and I can’t believe that a lot end up alone with no one to speak to. It makes my heart hurt.

I’ll tell you her story after I ask her, if she agrees, because it truly is amazing, but my message for today is however busy your life may be, making time for others, especially others who might not have anyone to talk to it won’t only feel amazing, because you will be doing something for someone else, you will help pass on the knowledge and wisdom of the elderly to younger generations.

Eleni

These little moments…

(For World Cancer Day)

People who fall ill with cancer often say ‘The one thing I’ve learned from my experience with cancer is to enjoy and appreciate every single moment, live in the now, don’t wait for things to happen, and for that I will always be grateful’…

We all forget about it, I do. I get so anxious and worried (for many things but often about getting cancer. I can imagine myself going through therapy, immense pain, losing my hair and eventually dying here on my own, away from my family, my heartbeat raised as I’m typing this) and I waste my time of being alive.

So here’s to those little moments that make life worthwhile:

The first sip of my first cup of coffee in the morning, especially if I happen to be home in Cyprus and I’m having my first one at a cafe in the sunshine…

A moment of pure blissfulness after a hot shower, when I smell clean and fresh and I feel so relaxed I can almost fall asleep…

Precious time and plenty of laughter with loved ones, friends, family …

Music, always…

Food, lots of food…

Sea and sunshine… if I were a season I’d be summer…

Travelling…

Little snaps of happiness that make life what worth living.

I hope and pray cancer will soon become an illness that no one or at least very few die of, and medicine is getting there, and also, I hope it doesn’t take having cancer to realise how fragile but beautiful life can be.

Eleni

PS This post is dedicated to Lilian and Meredith, who know the real meaning of life and enjoy every moment, despite everything life throws at them.

Love for all

-‘I’m starting a campaign, will you help me?’ the little sis messaged me.

-‘Yeah, of course. What is it?‘

And she sent me this:

I translated it and we came up with a hashtag to use for spreading the message.

Love for all!

This year, Valentine’s Day is not just for those in love. And it won’t last just a day but two weeks. To take part in the Love for All campaign you just need to do these two simple things:

1. Stop running around for a minute.

2. Tell all the people around you that you love them.

That’s it! You are done and have now contributed to our campaign to spread love everywhere!

So, I’ll go first. As many others, weirdly, I struggle to say I love you to my friends and family, though I try to every now and then. Except my immediate family, who I tell them every time we chat.

It’s amazing how we find it so easy to moan but when it comes to expressing our love we somehow hesitate.

But I love these five more than anything else in the world and living thousands of miles away, I’m always terrified that I never know when will be the last time I see them (I know, that’s how my brain works) so I feel I should remind them how much I love them every chance I get.

And I love you all, my wonderful relatives, friends and colleagues, everyone who inspires and touches me and all the kind amazing humans out there.

If you want to take part, you can follow the two simple steps and feel free to use the image below and use #loveforall to share and help spread the love! (Greek and English version below) .

Love you all.

Eleni

24 hours in Oxford

I’ve never been to Oxford before. Well, I’ve never ‘properly’ been.

I was only there once in 2014, at the beautiful Blackwell’s bookshop to meet the talented, humble,inspirational astronaut Chris Hadfield who I followed for months on Social Media, taking and posting pictures of our beautiful planet from the International Space Station (including a snap of my gorgeous home island), doing live experiments and videos giving insights to the rest of us on how things work in space. That’s a whole other story though.

Five years later, a lot has changed since and it happened that my now best friend who grew up in Oxford moved back home and I went to see her this weekend. It’s amazing to think that she might have been at the bookshop that day, as it’s her favourite, I might have even bumped into her.

Saturday, 1:10pm. After a wonderful, peaceful train ride with a cup of tea, a book and music I made it to Oxford.

The city was buzzing with people, I forgot how busy it can get on a Saturday. First stop: Lunch.

The place Shebs had in mind was full so we discovered a little cafe on top of a bike shop that we now love, the Handle bar Cafe and Kitchen. It was busy but luckily a sweet man who waited at the bar for a table offered us his so we didn’t have to wait.

The decoration was just beautiful with bikes hanging on the wall, a very rustic, cosy vibe and the food was in-cre-di-ble.

Shebs had the coconut pancake stack with berries and I had the smashing avocado on toast. If you know me, you know that’s one of my favourite brunch/lunch meals and I often order it, so I tried it in a lot of places. The one I had at Handle Bar was by far the best. It wasn’t just a typical avo on toast with a poached egg on top. There was feta, chilli, paprika, almonds, seeds and beetroot hummus, it was on another level.

After that we wandered into the city centre and Shebs took me to the most beautiful shop I’ve ever been. I need not say anything else. Just have a look.

We of course went to Blackwell’s bookshop and browsed for a while and since it was too dark to admire the architecture and it was getting closer to the time we had to be at the theatre, we went for dinner at a great Spanish restaurant, Al-Andalus tapas bar. Another awesome meal. Every single tapas we had was bursting with flavour. We had freshly baked bread served with Catalan style tomato sauce and olives on the side and we went for four different tapas: Pincho de Tortilla (spanish omelette), Brochetas De La Huerta (grilled vegetables), Bunuelos De Bacalao (cod fritters with garlic, parsley and ali oli) and Albondigas (meatballs) and a jug of light, refreshing Sangria. We were so full we couldn’t finish all of it.

After this wonderful dinner we met Sheb’s adorable mum and we had a laugh and sang along to Sister Act- the musical at the Oxford playhouse.

We were in no rush on Sunday morning, so we enjoyed a cup of coffee at home before heading out in town.

On Sunday we mostly did sightseeing, passing by the Bridge of Sighs, Hertford college and the Bodleian Library, one of the oldest libraries in Europe. I was in awe of the architecture and the wealth of history.

Before I headed home we went for a quick lunch at one of the most beautiful cafes I’ve ever been, the Vaults and garden cafe, which used to be an old church. We both had the Goat cheese rarebit, delicious.

Sunday, 1:15pm. A day later, I hugged Shebs goodbye and I got the train back to Southampton. What an amazing day it has been. There’s so much to see and do, 24 hours are not enough, there’ll be more next time I visit.

I usually dread Mondays but today I feel blessed. Blessed I had such a wonderful day with my best friend, chatting and laughing whilst wandering in such a stunning city. Oxford is definitely worth a visit.

Eleni

Blogmas day 15- The Christmas Party

The annual SSU staff Christmas party is one of my favourite events of the whole year. Glammed up for an evening of laughs, drinking and dancing-dancing at the Christmas do is the best, most fun dancing I’ve ever experienced-, the night away with wonderful friends and colleagues, old and new, celebrating Christmas and the end of another year. 

Last night was another fun, memorable eve. I can feel the effects today but oh my it was worth it. I thought last year might have been my last SSU staff party and though I know I’ll leave the University soon, no idea how soon, to pursue a more meaningful job, I love these people and the Christmas party will always be one of the highlights. And if this was my last one, it was a great one to end with.

I didn’t take many snaps but thankfully my lovely Helen did, some of the photos I borrowed from. So here’s a little flavour.

The set up at Novotel was beautiful…

I sat between two of my favourite not just friends, but humans, Helen and Chris…

and at the same table with more wonderful friends (one of my top three snaps of the night, hah)

…and laughed and danced with this wonderful lot.

Shoutout to DJ Tracy (not real name, if anyone does know her name please comment!) who we all adored!

Special thanks to Helen, Jamie and Lou for organising another incredible Christmas do.

Now, time for Love Actually and chocolate!

Eleni

Blogmas Day 14- Christmas Jumper Day

Happy Christmas Jumper Day! 

The Christmas Jumper I ordered for 2018 has not arrived yet, so I put on the one with the most sentimental value for me, the one my sisters bought and sent me years ago, the one I wear on my flight home for Christmas, the one we all have and wear together every year. God I love my sisters.

Now time to have a break and later on today it’s time for one of my favourite Christmas shenanigans, the annual staff Christmas party. Jaba already put me in great mood with a pre-lunch glass of Prosecco. Love you!

Eleni

Blogmas day 8- The Christmas Presents

New Year’s Eve, 1994

(that’s when Santa visits children in Greece and Cyprus, on the 1st of January, the name day of St Vasileios, ‘Αη Βασίλης’)

My sister Stella, a then naughty with short curly hair 5 year old and Ι, a stubborn 8 year old were eagerly waiting for my dad who popped outside to meet Santa Claus and get our presents. A year earlier we woke up and ran straight to the real Christmas tree we picked with mamma and papa a few weeks earlier and before we even saw our presents we knew Santa’s been because he ate the cookies and drank the glass of red wine we left for him next to the tree. Oh yeah, we treat Santa to wine in our household, and we are not the only ones in Cyprus who do that. But Santa is supernatural, he doesn’t get drunk with all that wine!

I can’t even remember what Santa Claus brought us either year, I just remember the joy and anticipation. 

Christmas is not about what’s become with all the commercialisation or the presents per se, it’ all about the joy and the kindness that should be celebrated every day, not just at Christmas or the International Kindness day but these little traditions add up to make Christmas… well magical.

I do my little bit helping others, donating, volunteering all year around and I sincerely hope everyone does, so once a year I may overdo it with treating myself and getting little treats for my near and dear ones. 

At this day and age most of us are lucky to afford to get things we really need, so every year I try to get something sentimental, unique and preferably handmade!

Today it’s all about a favourite Christmas tradition, wrapping Christmas gifts. After tidying up and dealing with the usual chores one must do every week (sigh), a bit of writing since I’m a day behind again, I had a lovely winter dinner, put a Christmas film on and I’ve wrapped most gifts. My wrapping skills are not the best I must admit, after the first couple I get impatient, but they turned out OK I guess…

I can’t wait to see everyone’s expression when they open them.

Now, time to decorate the Christmas tree!

Eleni

Blogmas Day 3: Tea, laughter and cry in Hythe

Monday 3rd of December

Today is all about the latest Touch event last night,  this time at Hythe. It was the last one I could attend for this year and I wouldn’t miss it, no matter how tired I was.

I’m glad I didn’t. It’s as if the evening was sprinkled with Christmas magic. You’ll see why…

I didn’t know what to expect after the last one I’ve been in Eastleigh.  Every Touch evening I’ve been has been incredible, but that one was very special. And last night was definitely one of my favourite so far. 

There were no staff at St Andrews church cafe, so Rachel and I were on tea and coffee duty, which I enjoyed more than I thought I would. If only waitressing paid as well as my current job!

The first speaker was our own Debs who’s been sharing her story of how she founded Touch two years ago (you can read it here) at our events across Hampshire and although I’ve heard it twice so far, last night was different. Debs shared more than she did before, she moved everyone, she made everyone laugh. It was the perfect start.

Next up was Emily* (not real name), who Debs interviewed. And she was incredible. She told us all about her tough childhood, her struggles with depression, alcohol and drug addiction and the muscle disease she’s been living with since she was a teenager. 

What I loved most about Emily was her sense of humour and her honesty. She somehow made talking about serious, sensitive, deeply personal matters very easy and natural. 

As Emily herself said due to her stubbornness and honesty, her greatest strengths and weaknesses, and the love for her children, she never gave up, despite the physical and mental problems, dealing with unemployment due to her condition and so many other obstacles life threw at her.  She learnt that being strong and independent doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for help and support, it actually means the opposite. 

She is now 7 years clean and every day wakes up knowing there is a reason she is on this earth, there’s a reason she wakes up and she is doing her best with whatever life gives her.

I had the chance to meet Emily after the break, as she came over to ask for another cup of tea and I was in such awe, I didn’t know what to say to her. So I made a complete fool of myself as one does and just said ‘You are so cool’. That’s the only thing I could come up with!

She smiled awkwardly, replied with a thank you and went back to her table. I’m such an idiot!

Next up was Denise* (not real name). Denise had a completely different life to Emily. She had a great life, a great husband, they had their first child as planned, everything was going well and then she suddenly didn’t feel like herself. She was diagnosed with post-natal depression a few months later, after she heard all the ‘advice’ most people give to you when you are struggling with depression. 

-‘Cheer up’, ‘Your life is great, there’s nothing to be sad about’

You get the gist. A few years later, with great support from her family and therapist,  she managed her depression with no medication. And all of a sudden, after partially losing her hearing on one ear, she was diagnosed with a brain tumour, which to begin with didn’t cause any other problems. Denise worried that her depression will flare up again but she tried her best to forget about her tumour and got on with her life. Until about a year ago, when her tumour grew and became dangerous. So she had to have an 8-hour surgery and re-teach her brain with physio how to use the left side of her body.

She is still to the day dealing with the side effects of her surgery but is feeling much better. She shared her story to say it’s OK not to be OK and it’s OK to talk about it. Another amazing human.

Last but not least  was Heather (I’ve used Heather’s real name as she has shared her story in public before). Another astonishing story, another extraordinary human. Heather caught a life-threatening infection after a holiday and woke up in intensive care, fighting for her life. What actually brought her back from coma was her love for her son, Will. With not much support other than few friends and her mother, she moved back home after 6 months in hospital and pushed herself to get better and after a long, painful recovery, she was eager to help others.

A few years later she became a carer of her beloved mother, who suffered from severe back pain, which they later discovered was advanced metastatic cancer. Sadly her mum died of cancer a year ago but Heather is grateful.

Grateful she is alive,  grateful of the lovely friends she made during her ordeal, who were there last night to cheer her on, grateful that her friends nominated her for Strictly’s Comic Relief and met her favourite dancers and celebrities.

She has since founded a charity, Where There’s A Will, to support ICU patients and their families.

What a marvellous evening.  One of the highlights was a, at first glance serious man, who didn’t say much but by the end of the night he was moved so much he almost cried and thanked everyone and he couldn’t wait for our next event.

‘Anywhere will that be, I’m there, I’ll follow you anywhere’

On our way back, I asked Debs where she finds these amazing people. Debs answer sums it all really, that’s what Touch is all about…

‘I don’t find them, they find me… but it’s easy really, because everyone is amazing in their own way and tonight was a great example. Three completely different but amazing people. Everyone is amazing and everyone has a story and I’m grateful I bring these people together and make them feel comfortable to share their stories.

And people like that man, who was touched by the stories and loved it so much he asked us if we recorded it so he can watch it back as soon as he goes home, makes it all worthwhile’.

That’s what Christmas is all about really isn’t it? It’s all about people, helping each other, inspire one another and that’s what Touch does.

Eleni