Tag: music

Lazy Sundays

I’m sitting on my sofa in my warm winter jumper, heating on, watching Sunday Brunch (I love Bradley Walsh, he is hilarious!) and browsing the internet for Christmas gifts and new wardrobe/style ideas.

After I was done with house chores yesterday I spent the rest of the day comfort eating, reading and watching Christmas movies on Channel 5.

I’m loving all the Christmas adverts out this week. My favourite is probably the Talk Talk one (it’s all about what matters most, family and watching Christmas movies on Christmas day snacking and cuddling with my sisters, our parents falling asleep on the sofa and Oscar the great lying next to us keeping us warm with his fur and occasionally trying to steal our food), closely followed by M&S (I love Paddington, watching it with the family at Christmas is one of my favourite memories). I actually had a sweet conversation on Twitter with M&S that made my day. The little things!

I feel calm, relaxed, rested. And you know why?

I stopped and took a break from all my week plans and obligations and spent my time dealing with all the thoughts and worries nagging me for weeks and treated myself, something I’d advise everyone to do.

I felt tired and drained all week, so much so that I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. The cold made it even harder. But what was going through my mind was the real culprit.

First I was excited applying for a new job but as soon as I start composing my personal statement anxiety and self-doubt kicked in. Should I apply? Am I good enough?

With the help of a great friend who advised me how to link my skills and experience to the role and had a read of my application before I clicked ‘Apply’ I finally did it. Now it doesn’t matter if I get it or not because I know I did my best and that’s all I can do. First worry dealt with.

Co-incidentally I came across an interview Jeff Weiner, the CEO of LinkedIn gave a while ago. It’s not hard to see why he is highly regarded and admired by many. At some point he talked about happiness. He only realised how truly happy he could be when he met his now wife. Before it was all work work work. Another example that success and money doesn’t necessarily mean happiness. It reminded me again to stop and appreciate the little things. Of course I want to have a successful career in something I love and I’d be over the moon when that happens but life is much more than that.

For about a month now my teeth have been very sensitive and I could not understand why which led to a train of worrying, terrifying thoughts. Since my NHS dentist was fully booked until January I bit the bullet and decided to visit my private dentist, although I don’t have much money left until the end of the month.

Never have I ever felt so horrified going for a check up. But Tobi was lovely and re-assuring (although I held my breath when she said ‘just checking for any lumps or bumps’, a normal part of a check-up,  but I’ve been watching so many Stand Up to Cancer clips lately my overworking, crazy brain paralysed me with fear). Totally worth the money.

The cause of the problem: grinding my teeth in my sleep and I need one of those fancy mouth guards. At least I now know what is causing it and how to fix it.

I skipped salsa on Wednesday. I was exhausted, it was freezing cold and the week before I didn’t get to practise any of the steps we learned as most of the men in the group unfortunately can’t get the basic steps and I could not cope with explaining the basic steps again 1,2,3 5,6,7 or even simpler quick, quick slow, quick quick slow and that ladies always turn on the right within those steps not whenever and in whatever direction.

I’m usually extremely patient and understanding but with everything else going on in my head I just couldn’t do it. I may return next week.

I re-arranged my first hot power yoga session for next weekend so I could have a lie in and rest.

The only thing I stuck to all week was my daily yoga and music, my soul medicine. So much good music out there, it’s impossible to mention all the new gems I discovered, but I love Surround me by Leon, Does she Even know by Ider, World Gone Mad by Bastille and new Recording 135 by Leo (one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard), check my Spotify for more.

On Thursday night my sisters sang at a local bar in Nicosia to raise money for a local animal shelter, the one my sister volunteers for and I visited in the summer. I couldn’t be there but my parents (who are not very good with technology) managed to connect us. They didn’t realise everyone could hear them, so I got to listen to their hilarious random conversations, their out of tune singing along, so endearing, I didn’t realise that I could be seen when they accidentally added me as I guest so people tuning in had the chance to see me eating chocolate on camera, I chatted to the people I knew there, my sisters’ friends, and I got to watch almost the entire show live. Thank you mamma and papa!

Facebook live- Southampton and Nicosia
Facebook live- Southampton and Nicosia

If I could, I would have popped to Cyprus for a week to re-charge and recuperate but since I couldn’t, this was the closest I got to. On Thursday I felt I was there, my parents doing their thing, getting into hilarious situations, sisters singing and me cheering them on in the background. Just what I needed!

Finally, on Friday I celebrated the end of the week with lunch and laughs with my bestie and my lovely lady friends from work. Wonderful, warming ramen at Wagamama followed by take away delicious brownies from Coffeelab. Perfect way to end this week.

 

Ramen
Orange and hazelnut brownie

I’m rested and ready now for a busy week and weekend.

Have a lovely week everyone!

Namaste

Eleni

 

 

One Sound, one year later…

I woke up today feeling incredibly emotional after last night’s show. It was a special one.

Two weeks ago I didn’t even think I could do this year’s One Sound show.

I haven’t been to SingNow for months and I missed many rehearsals of the workplace choir, because last time I went, although I love the people and singing, I couldn’t wait for the session to be over. There were explosions happening in my head, laughter and chat sounds were 10 times louder than usual, I could feel my heart beat faster and faster, I think I might have had my first panic attack, so after that I decided to skip it until I felt better.

A couple of weeks ago, after a stressful morning at work I thought I’d give it another go. A year ago I couldn’t wait for 12pm on  a Tuesday so I can have fun singing with my colleagues, but a year later, I walked in the room, terrified. I was scared I might go through panic mode like last time. But I know I need to try more, otherwise it will only get worse.

And this time it was alright. I could manage my scary thoughts and I actually enjoyed it.

So I thought OK, if I can do this, I might be able to do One Sound.

After my panic attack, returning to SingNow felt scarier and scarier, so at least for One Sound I was only going to sing with Singforce. A year ago I was super excited to be in both choirs, but a year later I became this scared little person who didn’t know if she could even be at the show. I honestly cannot comprehend how I let myself become this person.

The big rehearsal at Romsey was one of my highlights of the whole show. I felt emotional throughout. I could not stop thinking of the rehearsal a year ago. When I was in both choirs, and a SingNow friend and I laughed and had our little dance routines and lyric jokes we referred to whilst rehearsing, and those lovely people sitting opposite me now were my dear friends who I used to see and have a laugh with every week and have so many amazing memories rehearsing, performing, partying.

And now, a year later, I wasn’t sure even on the day of the rehearsal if I could do it.

But when I arrived there, I felt the love and the warmth of my old Singnow pals. They came over for a chat and a hug, I was disappointed with myself because for the last 8 months I allowed my anxiety and fears to take control of my life. And because of that I lost my Singnow family. Which now, a year later, I sat in front of, with a lump in my throat the whole time, watching them rehearse and singing along.

I know that some of my Singnow friends haven’t had the best 12 months and I kept thinking of how we changed and struggled over the last year but how we were all there a year later, trying our best.

The show was the following day, Saturday, 29th of April, yesterday.

Apart from a couple of hours before the show when I thought I couldn’t do it and it might be better to stay at home and a moment in the green room, backstage when I was about to go into panic mode, when I couldn’t hear anything else other than a loud noise in my head, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I didn’t hide in the back as I originally thought it was a good idea.  There was lots of laughter and excitement throughout the evening. And I was emotional from start to finish. I could not stop comparing it with last year. How different it felt.

My highlights of One Sound 2017, the show night:

3. The Adele song, ‘When we were young’.  It will always have a special place in my heart. We started learning it about this time last year, close to my 30th birthday and it means a lot to me. I fought hard to keep my tears when singing that.

2. Rhythm of the night. When the audience stood up, dancing with us, especially this lovely elderly couple sitting in the front. The smile on their faces was priceless.

1.  Fix you. Every single time we sang that, at the rehearsal, at soundcheck and at the end of the show, I teared up.  And I spotted people in the audience tearing up. And when we finished singing it at the show, we got a standing ovation! It was so overwhelmingly beautiful to watch the audience getting up and applauding us.

Here is a video of the end of the show were all choirs got together for Fix you and Jump https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8Ho3HgJQ5Q&sns=fb&app=desktop

One Sound 2016 would always be one of the favourite moments of my life but One Sound 2017 was beautifully brilliant and I’m glad I was a part of it.

Thank you to all my Solent friends, especially Helen and a big big thank you to Dan and Jack for all their hard work.

Love you all x

Eleni