mental health – Page 6 – Lessons I learned after I turned 30

Survival guide for new EFL teachers

When we were asked by one of the DoS (Director of Studies) whether we’d like to present at the IH South Italy conference, although I was overwhelmed with all the additional work I took up on top of teaching (putting together promo videos and planning events, which I absolutely love but God it takes time) and barely had time to do anything else, I really wanted to.

I’ve never presented at a conference before. Sure I gave presentations at work and uni, but never at a conference.

‘But what can I talk about? I’ve only been teaching for two months, what can others learn from my experience?’

Most of the days I’ve been over stressed, overworked, overwhelmed, wondering whether I’m doing this well, if my students are really learning and whether all this it’s worth the anxiety, the lack of me-time, of any time to do anything else other than work. If you are a newly qualified teacher you probably nodding your head reading this.

And that’s when I had a light bulb moment. What if I put together a ‘survival guide’ for newly qualified English teachers using the wisdom of existing teachers? I’ve already learned a lot from my manager, our DoS and fellow teachers in the couple of months I’ve been working as an EFL teacher, so imagine gathering all these little nuggets of advice and summarising them into a couple of pages?

I asked James (one of our DoS and the kindest man on earth) if he thought that would be a good idea and he seemed to like it. It’s hard to tell if he really liked it or he was just being polite as he always is but I thought ‘Let’s do it’, I might not get the chance again, who knows where I’d be and what I’d be doing next.

I asked around the room if anyone wanted to present with me, not that I was shy presenting on my own, but there are a lot of NQTs in our school and it would be a good opportunity for someone if they’d like to present. One of my fellow teachers wanted to present with me and to cut a long story short I set up a survey, sent it to teachers we knew and posted it on FB groups and got around 40 responses in just two weeks. Time management is a huge issue for new EFL teachers!

We gave the presentation at the IH South Italy conference yesterday, summarising and demonstrating some of the most common advice on topics we, newly qualified EFL teachers struggle with the most, and I thought I’d share it here too, to hopefully help other newly qualified teachers who may be struggling.

The CELTA can’t prepare you for what’s about to happen when you start teaching children or large classes or full time (also forget CELTA lesson planning time when you start teaching 4-5 hours a day!) so if you need any ideas on how to reduce your lesson planning time and manage your time better in general, or what you can do to help you with teaching young learners, or how to look after your mental health and wellbeing, have a read below.

What I’ve learned so far and I’d advise others (which most teachers recommended in the survey):

-Always have pre-prepared, low resource activities in hand (see ideas below) or lesson plans you have already prepared (start building your own archive), so if you hadn’t had time to plan in detail or ran out of material you can still have a great lesson.

– Plan less, don’t spend hours on it. Most of the time you can’t afford to spend hours. Not every lesson has to be amazing with heavy resource and planning activities. Use the coursebook and extend/adapt some of the exercises, students will still enjoy it (though it is more fun not using the book, especially if the material is not engaging for the students).

-Ask for help. We all regardless of experience give each other ideas and we all help each other with little and not so little things. And if you are struggling, talk to someone!

-Make time for yourself, your hobbies, your passions. Teaching shouldn’t take over your whole life. There is is much more in life than work.

-Making a mistake is not the end of the world. In fact that’s how you learn!

-Look after yourself. Rest, have breaks, sleep. At the end of the day teaching is just a job. If you don’t enjoy what you are doing/ you are too tired/ drained it not only affects your teaching but it’s not worth doing if it compromises your mental and physical health.

survival-guide-for-newly-qualified-efl-teachers-1

(the session started with a 5 minute mindfulness activity I’ll share on another post and also included demonstrations of a classroom routine, giving clear graded instructions, planning an activity for a lesson in a few minutes-yes, it’s definitely do-able- and finished with the audience getting to know each other outside their teacher remit and catching up with friends they haven’t messaged in a while).

Feel free to share and spread the wisdom. The survey is still open if you’d like to share yours. I thought instead of closing it, try to get as many teachers filling it in with their own ideas and advice instead (https://forms.gle/7wqyKbtQ789jVLeu9).

Thank you to everyone who filled in the survey, my co-presenter Nour, my lovely colleagues Maria and Mariah for their super useful feedback and ideas and a very special thank you to James who not only advised and helped me with the survey and PPT from the beginning, even during the Christmas holidays but also for his encouragement and mental support. He even saw the session twice. What a man.

Eleni

Non parlo Italiano!

About two months ago…

I desperately needed a haircut. I couldn’t even look at my hair. Everything happened so fast I didn’t get the chance to have my hair cut before I moved to Italy and the last one I had was early in the summer in Southampton (I miss the UK so much more I dare to admit sometimes).

Of course it wasn’t about the hair. It was all about self care and I’d started neglecting myself, pretty dangerous for me, it lets the depression and severe anxiety demons creep in and slowly take over without me realising until is too late, so I had to get my hair cut. Urgently.

I’m not sure if you remember where I live now, it’s a small city where very few people you come across speak English, so even the thought of attempting to book an appointment I found intimidating.

But self-preservation prevailed and I wouldn’t let my very poor Italian get in the way. (My Italian hasn’t improved much since, in case you are wondering.)

If you asked me what the most common expression I’ve used so far during my first three months in Italy was, it’s not ‘scusi’, or ‘per favore’ but..

‘Non parlo Italiano’.

It’s my opening line most of the time. Oh no, I actually first speak in English, as I often forget they won’t understand me, then I notice the baffled expression on their face and I explain.

So here’s how I managed to get a (decent) haircut with minimal communication but plenty of awkwardness.

Eleni- ‘Hi, I’d like too…, oh sh**. Non parlo Italiano, parle Inglese?

Hairdresser- Mmmm, no… (waves at one of the other hairdressers who knows a bit of English apparently).

El- Taglio (cut). Pointing at my hair. ‘Un po’ (How the hell do you say ‘trim’ in Italian?)

H-Si. Quando? (Yes! Finally a word I know!)

El-Sabato, matina (morning)?

H– (After checking their appointment book). Mm, tredici? (1pm, Italians tend to follow the 24hr format).

E– Si, si, grazie!

Pheew. First step done. I managed to book an appointment!

Saturday (haircut day)

11pm

I couldn’t remember if the appointment was at 11am or 1pm. In my head numbers were mixed up the minute I left the hairdressers two day ago. Full time teaching does that to you, messing up your brain. So I went at 11am, just to check. The hairdressers burst into laughing. I thought I’d attempt to go food shopping since I got up anyway, but the supermarket was way too busy for my liking (Damn, I could have stayed in bed a little longer).

1pm

I walked in. I had no idea what to say or do. The place was full of customers chatting away. I felt paralysed, mute. I couldn’t let any words out. I didn’t know how to. I could understand some of the conversations but I couldn’t take part. A horrible feeling.

That’s how my students must feel… I kept thinking.

After about half an hour wait (which I was ‘lucky’ as quite often you wait way longer, I was told), I was summoned on the chair.

The stylist asked me how I wanted my hair. I managed to explain (thanks to Antonella, Elena and Google translate) that I just wanted a trim and layers but not too short.

I was terrified. What if she gives me a horrible haircut, what if I end up looking like a pencil?

Image result for fleabag i look like a pencil meme

We didn’t speak much after that. She couldn’t speak English, I couldn’t speak Italian. She made an effort, which I appreciated, she asked me if I was a student, thankfully I knew how to say ‘I’m an English teacher’. My second most used expression (‘insegnante di Inglese’).

An hour later and after a lot of miming and gesturing (and a few word exhanges partially thanks to similarities between Greek and Italian), I left the hairdressers relieved I didn’t look like a pencil, it was actually a decent haircut and cheap compared to UK prices (12 euros).

But it was the most awkward hairdresser’s experience I ever had. And kind of funny at the same time. I had a little giggle afterwards. It’s fascinating how we humans manage to communicate even when we don’t speak the same language, although sometimes we can’t communicate even if we do speak the same language. The irony.

A month later and I’m none the wiser when it comes to Italian. My timetable doesn’t allow me to attend Italian lessons anymore, though I’m still learning from my students, who feel incredibly proud judging by the huge smile on their face every time they teach me an Italian word.

I’m not sure I’d like to stay in (Southern) Italy after my contract ends, but one thing I discovered is that I love living somewhere I’ve never lived before, being thrown into the deep, learning how to… well how to adopt and survive in another country, another culture, another life. That’s something I definitely want more of.

For now, I’ll enjoy the rest of my stay at this little, odd town that is Reggio Calabria.

Namaste

Eleni

My 2020 New Year Wish

I’m holding a coin wrapped in tin foil and everyone is cheering me. Surreal.

It had just turned 2019 and I was the ‘lucky’ one, the ‘lucky charm’ was in my slice of Vasilopita, the traditional New Year’s cake. Who knows, maybe luck would be on my side this year. That will be a first!

That’s how 2019 started and what a year it’s been!

I regularly self-reflect, that’s how this blog started afterall, but inevitably this is a great time to look back on the year that’s ending and remind myself of all the lessons I learned from my mistakes, my achievements and more importantly everything I’m thankful for.

This year has been, literally and with no exaggeration life changing. I left Southampton and the UK after 10 years which felt like a huge, unimaginable task at the time, I spent a month in Cambridge studying for something brand new, the CELTA and somehow managed to get an A, I moved back to Cyprus for about a month and on another, unexpected turn of events I ended up teaching English in Southern Italy.

Whilst going through all these changes I had great adventures with loved ones, climbing up and down hills on our Jurassic Coast Macmillan Mighty Hike, exploring Bruges and Brussels with my little sister, an awesome holiday at Rhodes with my middle sister, I made great memories with friends and family, who I wouldn’t survive with at times, and for that I feel blessed and happy.

It’s also been a challenging year at times. I struggled with severe anxiety especially during those life changing moments and I’m still dealing with grief as my mind still can’t process how in just over a period of three months we lost my beloved pappou, grandpa Costa and my dearest uncle Spyro.

It’s not only the end of the year but the end of the decade and well, where to start from?

I can’t possibly reflect in detail and I’m not sure it will help in anything but tο sum up (take a deep breath):

I left Cyprus to do my Masters, I had my first long term relationship of 7 years that left me with emotional scars but taught me a lot and made me who I am, I ended up staying in the UK for 10 years, I had my first ‘proper’ job at Solent Uni where I worked for almost 8 years and lived in Southampton where I met some of my greatest, life-long friends, volunteered, lost myself, found myself again and learned to live on my own and with depression and anxiety, struggled with grief after losing grandma Frosou and aunt Anna, learned how to love myself, tried new things and discovered how to be happy on my own, doing what I like, singing, volunteering, theatre and musical trips, blogging, vlogging, hiking, reading, yoga (with Adriene). And that’s just a summary (breathe again).

I guess that’s life. It’s never a smooth ride. It’s full of surprises, ups and downs, easy and tough. Each of us follows their own path and are on their own timezone, so you can’t and shouldn’t compare your life to others but we all go through the same motions. So what matters at the end of the day?

I don’t do New Year resolutions, I find them pointless, I just make a small bucket list with things I’d like to do hopefully in 2020 but that’s another story I’ll post about later.

So what I learned in the last ten years and is my 2020 year and decade wish to everyone other than health, physical and mental (which is THE most important), is be happy, and never let it just depend on others, love, yourself and each other, and enjoy the little things, we truly live in a beautiful world and we often don’t appreciate life’s precious moments.

I hope you all do whatever makes you happy (don’t compromise that for no reason), quit your job if you hate it, devote time on what you love doing whatever that might be, make great memories with loved ones, enjoy every moment with them, you never know when it’s the last time you’ll see them (such a cliche but true), always be kind and try to make the world a better place. If we all do a little, as much as we can, who knows, we might make a huge difference.

Happy New Year! Here’s to a new year and a new decade. Here’s to 2020!

Namaste

Eleni

Thankmas Day Twenty-Four: Thank you Oscar

I started Thankmas with family and I’m ending it with family.

Today is dedicated to the 6th member of our family who has been making our life more fun, loving, hilarious and random for the last 10 years, our little baby, Oscar.

Though I’ve lived abroad pretty much since we got him, he remembers me every time I visit. When I was in Cyprus for a month, struggling to adjust and annoying everyone with my constant irritability, Oscar was the only one I wasn’t annoyed with, he was the only one who could comfort me at times.

He may sometimes sneakily steal our food but he can sense when we are ill or sad and comes and sits next to us, he is loving and sweet with everyone and ever so patient with children younger and older (e.g Anna!).

So thank you Oscar! You’ve been the whole family’s best friend and we all love you to bits.

Eleni

Thankmas Day Twenty-Five: Thank you everyone

It’s Chriiiistmaaaas. My favourite day of the year. I haven’t immersed in it as much this year due to work but I’m glad I decided to do Thankmas.

As I suspected from the start of this little series of blogs, 24 posts are not enough to thank all the amazing, incredible humans who encouraged me, comforted me, supported me, all my dear friends and family and all the things that inspired me and motivated me this last year.

So this post is for everyone. Everyone I love and I’m blessed to have in my life.

All of my friends in Southampton, especially Sofy and Sophie, Denise, Jo, Lorna (oh I miss having a laugh with the Quercus ladies!) and our awesome staff choir.

My brother Andi in London, who I spent my last day in the UK with. I miss you lots!

Dear Giovanni, my former CELTA student who’s been giving me tips and advice ever since I moved to Italy.

All my friends and family in Cyprus. Maria, Andri, Elena, Polia, my cousins, especially my beloved cousin and third sister Georgia, my aunties, my uncles.

And last but not least all of my lovely readers.

Thank you everyone. I’ll have a little break now to enjoy exploring my little island and spending time with friends and family but I’ll be back soon to talk about New Year wishes!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

With all my love,

Namaste

Eleni

Thankmas Day Fourteen: Thank you Debs and Hannah

May 2019,

A year after signing up as volunteer, in a packed CoffeeLab I hosted my last Touch event.

Our monthly events were definitely one of my most precious 2019 highlights.

I’ve written about Touch before, the mental health social enterprise I volunteered for, organising intimate story nights where incredible, amazing, extraordinary everyday humans like you and me, find the courage to stand in front of strangers and share their most personal experiences, overcoming difficulties, coping with whatever life brought to them. I teared up, laughed and left in awe and inspired after every single evening and even though it’s been months, I still remember most of the people and their stories.

If you want to know more you can read a post I wrote a few months ago.

Today I want to say thank you to the two amazing, sweet, caring ladies behind this, Debs, the founder of Touch and Hannah, Deb’s right hand. Thank you for letting me be part of this incredible experience, for trusting me, driving me around with you, for your love and support.

I miss you and our monthly events and I sincerely hope one day to start something similar wherever I end up living. In the meantime I’ve been telling everyone about it!

Eleni

Thankmas Day Thirteen: Thank you music

How dull, meaningless, poor life would be without music? I genuinely think I’d die without it.

I always loved music, I always listen to music, on my way to work, at work, on my way home, at home, everywhere.

If it weren’t for music (and my guitar which I love) I wouldn’t have made this year.

It’s been my therapy, a safe space to laugh, cry, let me emotions unfold, get my frustrations out, remember and honour loved ones.

So thank you to every single person who makes music from the editor, guitarist, drummer, singer to Spotify and Soundcloud.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Eleni

Thankmas Day Twelve: Thank you Dan

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Dan!

Once again I’m struggling to decide where to start from. Where and how do I begin? Words are too little to describe one of my favourite humans ever, Dan, though if you know me in person, the chances are I have already spoken to you about him, I’m pretty sure I even talked to strangers about him.

I’ve known Dan for about five years now, when I first joined the Uni’s staff choir, a decision that completely changed my life.

I won’t say much about all the fun, amazing things we did with the staff choir, you can read about it here, I just want to thank Dan for being there for me, particularly this last year, listening, calming, cheering me up, helping me control my anxiety and also sharing one of the most amazing, challenging experiences of my life, our Macmillan Mighty Hike, and oh my, mighty it was, it nearly broke us.

Dan is one of the very few people that can understand exactly how my brain works (in all kind of mysterious, crazy ways) and how I feel without having to say much and I somehow can do the same for him,we are very similar in that way, something incredibly rare. I consider myself extremely lucky our paths crossed.

Thank you Dan. I miss you terribly, especially on Tuesdays afternoon.

Eleni

Thankmas Day Eleven: Thank you Lucy

What I wouldn’t give for a lunchtime date with Lucy.

I’ve known the awesome, funny, intelligent, amazing, beautiful Lucy for a couple of years now but over the last year we bonded over our monthly catch ups over lunch, talking away our troubles, chatting about mental health, something we are both passionate about, music, food, interesting books we read, musicals, food, holidays, politics, the environment, academia, whatever you can imagine. I’ve learnt a lot from her.

I always felt that Lucy and I could talk about anything and everything openly with no judgement or prejudice and we always, always had a laugh.

Our lunches were our own little monthly therapy sessions.

Lucy would often check up on me, cheer me on and remind me how lucky I am to have such incredible human beings like her for friends.

So thank you my dear, thank you for, well, everything.

Eleni

Thankmas Day Ten: Thank you Phoebe Waller-Bridge

‘Are you really dedicating a post to an actress/producer/writer you never met?‘ you might ask.

And the answer is yes, of course.

Have you ever watched a film or a TV show you loved so much it sort of changed your life? That’s Fleabag for me, a fictional character I actually, genuinely love.

I love a good TV show, a show so brilliantly written, with dialogues that can easily be turned into a book about your own life because they somehow capture your deepest, most intimate thoughts, worries, troubles, with incredible characters you cannot but only love and feel like they could be your friends.

That’s what Fleabag is for me. Definitely one of my highlights of 2019.

A TV show, a play, a book, any form of art when masterly, skilfully crafted can truly feed creativity and touch your soul in a way nothing else can. That’s why art is essential part of everyone’s life. How else can we try and make sense of this world whilst also documenting our culture for future generations? Art is the food of the soul, and when that food is cooked to perfection, you can’t but enjoy every single bite.

So thank you Phoebe for bringing Fleabag into our lives, the best comedy drama show ever made (and for Killing Eve). You are a genius!

Eleni