personal – Page 2 – Lessons I learned after I turned 30

Dating in my thirties

I didn’t know if I wanted to go ahead and post this today. The news of my friend’s dad’s death (whose 30th birthday is actually today, how horrible to lose your dad just before your 30th) shook me to the core. She is an expat as I am and her dad lived miles away, as mine does. It’s the first time I empathised so much with someone, I could feel her pain in every cell of my body and my brain. I can still feel it. As if it was my dad. If it was my dad, I would be lying on the floor, in the dark, crying my eyes out. I hope she is OK and coping as best as she can.

I’m still upset, but life goes on. The best thing to do after the death of a loved one is to remind ourselves how damn short life is and keep going. Here it goes…

I was never really a big fan of Valentine’s day. Love should be celebrated every day. Not just romantic love, but all kinds of love.

Instead I decided to write how dating is for me, with all my quirks, at my age.

And it is different when you are in your thirties.

The era of online dating

I’m not actively trying to date. And one of the main reasons is because I heavily dislike online dating. I know I shouldn’t, I know that’s the most common way people meet nowadays, especially at my age, but there are so many weirdos online (not sure if there are more weirdos online than in real life, that’s debatable), after a couple of attempts I gave up. And messaging five guys at the same time to decide who I want to go out with, whilst they do the same, doesn’t appeal to me. I want to feel special, not just another person they chat up. I’m old school, I love the feeling when you first meet someone and your heart is pounding so loud you can hear it, the nervousness and excitement. That’s why I probably never find anyone I really fancy.

Can he be the one?

You still want to have fun but in the back of your head you think ‘Will this work long-term? Can I imagine being with this person longer than a couple of months?’, ‘Is he my lobster?‘ If like me starting a family and having a couple of little ones running around is one of the things on your bucket list then dating the wrong person in your thirties can be a waste of time, although you still want to have fun and enjoy life.

How do you know then? I’m not sure myself but in my head it’s something like this:

You just ‘click’ from the moment you first meet. You talk to each other all the time, you can’t wait to see each other, you get butterflies just thinking about each other, you have a lot in common, you laugh with the same things, the conversation is open and honest from day one and everything it’s just easy. You make each other feel special and somehow it doesn’t fade away after a week or two. You surprise each other, turn at each other’s door, and every day is fun and different. And he would somehow know I love pink roses (Ok that bit is too far stretched to ever happen). Sounds amazing. A rom-com plot. Well, it rarely happens and even if it does, sometimes it happens at the wrong time in your life.

The older, the wiser, the fussier

The older you get the fussier you become. I know myself very well, and that doesn’t always come with age, I worked hard on self-awareness and I know what I’d absolutely dislike in a partner, from simple things like long fingernails to coldness, emotionally unavailable, lying and arrogance. And I know what I’d want, being as open and honest as I am, having a laugh (probably the most important), feel challenged intellectually, like the same films, impeccable music taste, talented (music, writing, cooking, anything creative always gets me), creative, expressive, incredibly well smelling, loves good food and the list goes on. If I were to choose my dream man he would probably be a hybrid of Dan Smith’s (Bastille) voice and quirky looks, Derren Brown’s intelligence, Louis Theroux’s charisma and Cedric Grolet’s baking skills. Not asking for much.

Just the right amount of craziness

I was never attracted to normal, conventional people. Which comes with risks. And it almost never works out, with the exception of my seven year long relationship. See, people with temperamental personalities are so unpredictable, they end up messing you up. It makes me wonder if I’ll ever find someone with just the right amount of craziness. Maybe one day I’ll find the James to my Alyssa.

Can I trust you?

That’s probably the hardest part of dating. I’m pretty smart, if I say so myself, which is one of my downfalls because I tend to overthink EVERYTHING, but intelligence doesn’t help when it comes to matters of the heart. I’m open and honest and I unfortunately sometimes trust people too easily and I believe everything they say. Being open makes you vulnerable. On one hand if you don’t let your guard down and trust the other person they’ll probably give up eventually, and that happened to me in the past, that’s why I learned to let people in, on the other hand you may trust and believe them but turns out they were lying all along to get you into bed.

I have a story to tell you on that, a recent experience that disturbed my mental wellbeing, for a while. I’ll post just about that soon, when I’m completely over it and I can share what I learned without any hard feelings.

What about sex?

Chemistry is essential. No matter how incredibly well you may get along with someone, if you don’t want to rip each other’s clothes off and the sex is consistently bad, there is no point. You may as well just be friends.

I’m one of those people that hates one-night stands, they are awkward and never enjoyable, for me anyway. I’m still surprised that some people are so bad at it, even ‘players’. Sex is one of the greatest joys in life and if it doesn’t make your toes curl, walk away. And word of advice, always always use condom.

Too good at goodbyes?

Being single and living on my own for two years now, I’ve reached a point I absolutely love my me time and my life as it is right now. And with everything else that comes with age, mainly being fussier, it gets harder and harder to meet someone I’d gladly give up my own precious time to make an effort to date them. I’ve met people over the last two years who I didn’t even bother getting to know and just let them go. It is much easier to move on rather than try, especially if you are not attracted to them instantly or it’s too much effort. Sad but true.

So what do I do?

Dating should be fun no matter your age. It is tougher when you are in your thirties, there is a lot to think about and there will always be f***boys around, you ‘ll get your heart broken many a times but that’s life. You have to walk through the mud and dog shit to reach the meadow. And God there is a lot of shit out there. But unless you want to spend your life in a cave, hiding from the world (trust me sometimes I desperately want to do that), you have to take the leap, get out and give people a chance.

And one day you’ll find that one person who is perfect for you. The one who’ll love you for who you are and will never get tired to show that to you. The one who will make everything easy. As my favourite professor Marios Adonis would say ‘Relationships are not a walk in the park but if it’s too much work, walk out. Love should be easy’.

I don’t really believe the ‘one’ exists, that’s just a myth. But it’s amazing when you meet someone you get along with from day one. I hope one day that’ll happen to me.

I’m so happy I’m more mature now and although rejection and being taken advantage is never easy to take, I don’t try to make sense and ask for answers anymore. I just learn and move on. I love myself too much to let anyone make me doubt myself. And I have a lovingly, amazingly support network, friends and family.

I’m not avoiding dating but I’m not desperate to date anyone either. I am getting older and I’d like to have a family by the time I’m 40 but if it doesn’t happen it’s not the end of the world. It’s not worth the compromise. I’d rather be single rather be with someone just because I want family.

Two years ago, around this time, when I reflected on what I learned from my relationships and my mistakes, I made a promise to myself.

I promised I’ll never lose myself in a relationship ever again, but next time I’ll be with someone, I’ll forget all the dos and don’ts, (‘is it too soon? is it too fast? is it too slow?’). I’ll be honest and open and I’ll just be myself, with all my flaws from the beginning, I’ll trust and love with all my heart, it will be fun and crazy, a big adventure. But I’ll only do that if I meet someone who inspires me and makes me feel that way.

If I meet that someone, I’ll go for it. If not, I’m happy with my life as it is. Everything is as it should be as my gal Adriene would say.

Namaste

Eleni

PS. Thank you to the lovely Lou for the warmest hug she gave me first thing in the morning, just what I needed, to Lee and Sarah for all the laughs and to Linda and Donna for taking care of me today.

New beginnings-week 1: My first ever housemate.

I’ve never lived with complete strangers. I lived in student halls at Warwick Uni when I was 22 but that doesn’t really count. It was more of a communal, safe environment and I was not an ‘adult’ back then. I was still fearless and naive with ambitions and unrealistic dreams, like most youngsters fresh out of university.

I moved from living with my family, to student halls, to living with my ex-partner of seven years to living on my own for the last two years.

I may be biased because that’s my most recent experience, but I loved living on my own. Not from day one, but definitely over the last year. So moving in a shared flat was not because I wanted to, but purely for financial reasons.

I spent last week packing, a little bit every day and last Friday I moved out from my cute, cosy studio flat to a year old, bright, modern 2-bed flat, which came with a 32 year old guy.

This year the move was smooth and uneventful (last year was a nightmare, alarms going off, lost my car keys, bruised knees for months, it was a disaster!) since I learned from my mistakes and saved money for a removal company. I’ll post more on that and what else I discovered over the last 10 days later this week.

It’s only been a couple of days and there is a lot to get used to. I don’t live on my own anymore so I can’t play the guitar at silly o’clock or put music really loud and I don’t know what the ‘social rules’ are when sharing a flat. Should I offer my ever so polite flatmate a cup of tea every time I make tea and he is around? Are we to cook on different times? Are we to become friends or keep stricter boundaries? I don’t really know the answer to these questions and I’m not sure he does either but I guess it will all fall into place. I’ve been talking to my brother in London and he is going through a similar situation right now. I’m glad it’s not just me trying to figure this out.

I still wonder whether I made the right decision, should I waited until a gal was looking for a flatmate instead of living with a guy? Should I went for more viewings, should picked a different area? At the end of the day, I made a decision and I won’t know if it was the right one until later, so I’m trying not to torture my mind.

It will take a while to have a good night’s sleep and feel like home, I still feel I’m a guest here and I will soon go back to my old home but we humans are incredible when it comes to adjusting to change. I’m sure it will soon feel as I’ve been here for years.

I love what I’ve done with my new room in just three days and with minimum spending. It makes a difference when I walk into my room every day and admire how beautiful it looks. I could have spent more money on getting a new bed and furniture and so on but it will all worth it in six months time when I finally repay my loan.

Although today is apparently Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year (which is a marketing campaign by Sky Holidays based on a nonsensical, pseudo-scientific equation they made up), I don’t feel sad or depressed. I did briefly on Saturday, my first day at the new place where I felt lost and overwhelmed with all the changes but today I’m excited and terrified in equal measure of all the things yet to come.

Great things coming up I can’t wait to share them with you.

So here’s to new beginnings!

Eleni

Blogmas day 19- Christmas cards

The last few days are going too fast.

Last day at work tomorrow before I fly home on Thursday and I’m already exhausted. Fingers and toes crossed I will not catch a cold again as soon as I get home and relax.

I spent almost two hours last night and another half hour this morning writing Christmas cards. I wasn’t planning on doing any this year but since this might be my last Christmas at Solent I wanted to send Christmas wishes to all my lovely colleagues in A101 and elsewhere at the Uni. Sorry if you didn’t receive any, my box of 50 quickly ran out.

Not sure I’ll be able to blog over the next couple of days, but I’m hoping I’ll do.

Today Shebz and I probably had our last cup of tea at Mettricks. The amount of time we spent there the two of us chatting away, occasionally joined by great friends. It really is the end of an era.

I’ll be out tomorrow night for another Christmas meal, this time at Carnicero Steak House on Oxford street and I can’t wait. I’ll blog about it from Cyprus later in the week as I won’t get the time tomorrow.

On Thursday I’ll be travelling for most part of the day but I’ll try and blog from one of my favourite places, the airport.

I’m taking each day as it comes from now on otherwise I’ll be in tears with all the changes and goodbyes coming up.

Thank you to my UK mum Donna for her thoughtful Christmas gift. Love you!

Sorry for all my friends I didn’t get to see before Christmas. I don’t know how it’s the 19th of December already.

Love you all.

Eleni

Blogmas day 11- Decision day.

I struggled to decide how to start this post. Ironic given the theme of today’s Blogmas.

The big news today: I handed in my notice for my flat. I’m officially moving into a shared flat with my friendly and already super helpful flatmate. If all goes well.

As soon as I messaged my landlord I started panicking. What if something goes wrong and I end up with nowhere to live? But once again he has been incredibly lovely and replied by saying if anything goes wrong I’m welcome to stay here. I really hope he doesn’t turn bad. I have had landlords that tried to get all my deposit using silly excuses although they’ve been great and lovely throughout the tenancy. I hope he is not that kind of person.

Although it’s scary, I am excited to be moving. Fresh start, more money saving and I’ll have much more space. I’ve already came up with things I want to do at the new place I couldn’t do here like having plants. I can’t wait.

At lunchtime I went for a flat viewing, this time not for myself but for my fellow Cypriot who is moving to Southampton next month. I think we found the one! It is so much easier to make decisions and way clearer on what the best options are when it comes to others. When personal feelings, emotions and thoughts don’t rudely interfere with common sense it all becomes crystal clear.

On a different note, today I received my first Christmas cards. That means we are getting closer and closer to Christmas!

Although Blogmas consumes a lot of my free time and is more like a personal journal rather than Christmas related posts, it’s been amazing so far. Sitting down at the end of the day and reflecting has been deeply therapeutic. I sometimes forget that others are actually reading this.

Thank you to everyone who’s been following my first Blogmas attempt.

Today I’ll leave you with a beautiful tune by Kira Grannis. Magical vocals and the lyrics hit home.

Namaste

Eleni

Blogmas bittersweet day 4

Day 4…

Blogmas is turning into a personal journal, it feels like a daily therapy session.

Today I was in a good mood in the morning, quite rare for a Monday.

Royal Mail delivered the little Christmas tree I ordered first thing in the morning just before I left for work, which cheered me up.

Andi, one of my favourite people at the Uni, the older brother I never had, was back at work today after his two week holiday, I really looked forward to seeing his little face peeking over his PC and in the afternoon the whole department would get to decorate the office with brand new decs and a REAL tree!

I’ve put together a Christmas playlist, we were to bring in festive snacks, biscuits, mince pies, cheese (I have to give it to Donna, she went all out!) and Sarah was bringing delicious mulled cider. I couldn’t wait! It was going to be a great Monday for a change.

As I mentioned before, my best friend Shebz is going away soon and today she handed in her notice. I knew about it months ago but today it got real. I’m extremely happy and proud of her, getting out there, travelling, exploring the world, like she always wanted to but I’m equally sad as I won’t see her every day, go on our adventures, chat about random things for hours, advise and comfort each other… When I get the time I’ll post a blog just about her!

What I didn’t know was that Andi is also leaving. I can’t describe how happy I am for him. He is an amazing, sweet, sensitive, intelligent man who deserves the best and he can finally now move on to a more rewarding, challenging job in London. But I will dearly miss him. I wasn’t prepared for this although as soon as he said he had some news the first thing I said was ‘Are you leaving?’ I just knew.

I was in shock and went through waves of sadness and happiness all day. The Christmas decorations, music and food (especially the Cheese Christmas trees dipped in Camembert cheese) definitely lifted my mood and the office looks festive and lovely.

Now, after re-scheduling my PT session ( I couldn’t possibly exercise after all the cheese and mulled cider) I’m at home, desperately trying to put my thoughts and feelings in order.

After Christmas, two of my favourite people are leaving Southampton and I feel more stuck than ever. But that pushed me to make a decision, and it’s not easy for me to do, that’s why I’m still here.

I was thinking about it over the last few days but today I decided if I want to move forward, something’s gotta give. The most realistic way to save money fast so I can go into a more interesting job or try my lack elsewhere is to move to a shared flat or house. It’s a big deal for me, I love living on my own and it’s not going to be easy. I’m sure I’ll be OK though.

I contacted my landlord to hand in my notice as my contract expires in January. That only gives me a couple of weeks to find a new place before the Christmas break. But my landlord offered to let me stay on a month to month basis so I don’t have to rush!! Not many landlords would have done that, his kindness melted my little heart. Thank you James. I can now enjoy my Christmas holidays and come back and look for a new place.

Life is full of surprises and today was a great example.

It’s been a bizarre day… A bittersweet Monday…

Namaste

Eleni

The Christmas story of Eddie the teddy.

December 2015…

I lived in the most gorgeous place I’ve ever lived in Southampton, a three bed, three bathroom flat with en suite and walking wardrobe in the enormous main bedroom (every woman’s dream), on Northlands road, a beautiful residential area next to the Common, where I could see the fountain in the middle of the square and all the beautiful houses from my kitchen’s french doors.

I had split up with my ex-boyfriend of seven years but we still lived together, our contract didn’t end until February. We had decided a month earlier since we were to remain friends and this would have been our last Christmas together neither of us would go home, I hadn’t been home for Christmas for six years, but we were spending Christmas together, as friends.

I’m one of those people who don’t believe there’s a point remaining friends with ex-boyfriends, I don’t keep in touch with any of my exes but I thought this would be different. We were together for seven years, he wasn’t just my boyfriend, he was my best friend.

When he found out I was dating someone else after we broke up, (yes, rebound… yes I regretted it….it put me off men since) he was devastated, apparently he thought we would get back together eventually, get married, have kids and live happily ever after, although when I asked him whether the break-up was final, his exact words (word by word translation from Greek) were ‘It’s better not to think we will ever get back together’.

He booked a ticket to go home, just a week before Christmas.

I was left alone with no plans a week before Christmas. I could not afford a ticket home, they got incredibly expensive by then and although my parents offered to pay, I knew they could not afford it either, they would have probably borrowed money and I’d never let them do that. I’d rather stay home alone.

At the same time all of this was happening I received three gifts from my family back home (the allegory made me giggle when I re-read this part), a notebook and a snowman ornament (I used to tease my sisters with this snowman cuddly toy I had at home, I made up a ‘snowman’ song, and although they pretended they didn’t like it, they secretly loved it) from my sisters and a teddy bear from my mum. I had sent her flowers and a teddy bear for her birthday in November and whenever she misses me she holds the teddy, so mum said ‘Whenever you miss us, hold the teddy’.

Eddie the teddy survived three house moves, impressive as my tendency to lose things is not getting better, it’s been sitting on my bed for the last two years and I hold it tight when the going gets tough. I hold it when there’s a thunderstorm, I’m terrified of thunders although I know I shouldn’t, I hold it when I miss my family and I hold it when I’m feeling down. Last time I held it was Monday night.

It was a tough day. The death of Christine, a colleague fighting cancer for the last year, farewell lunch of Sophie, the first member of our little team leaving and I received some news I cannot share yet. As soon as I walked outside work I burst into tears. I really needed a hug from my parents or my sisters. But the closest thing I had was the teddy.

It really helps to have something reminding me I’m never alone, even when I feel I am. We all have inanimate objects that are special to us.

The heart shaped earrings I wear most days are a gift to myself when I needed a confidence boost, the heart-shaped ring and bracelet I normally wear are gifts from my sisters, the cross pendant I never take off is a gift from my godson and my cousin, my favourite shirt is a gift from my little sister, the bowl and silver tree decorating my living room are gifts from my best friends, the chocolate flower (minus the chocolate) on my desk at work is a Valentine gift from my brother from another mother and the list goes on…

All of these remind me how much I’m loved by amazing people and give me strength when I need it the most.

It is not silly or childish and don’t let anyone persuade you otherwise. Our loved ones can’t be with us every time we need them, especially if they live in another country like most of mine do and these little, meaningless to others things, make a huge difference for me and keep me going. There are a daily reminder. They all lead to one thing.

They all lead to love. It’s all about love. And I’m blessed to be loved by so many special, sweet, loving humans.

I’d love to know the little things that are precious to you and the stories behind them.

If you are wondering, this Christmas story did have a happy ending. I spent that Christmas with my best friend and her family in Luton and it was one of the best Christmas days I ever had full of laughter, food and dancing. I then spent a day wandering in sunny December London, watched Matilda the musical and stayed in the Shard, in the most amazing room with breathtaking views. That fairytale had a bad ending but Christmas 2015 was great.

The end

Eleni

Two years later…

Two years on this day…

I wasn’t sure whether to post today or not. I’ve been feeling emotional already the last couple of days but today was harder than normal.

But today is not about what happened that day. You can see my previous posts here. Today is about reflecting on what I learned and how I changed over the last two years.

For the last few days I’ve been contemplating about my life so far and what it’ll be better to do next. I’m craving change and I know for sure I want a new job, but should I move to another city? Another country? Another continent?

Change is scary, even when you desperately want it. I’m scared I might make the wrong choices. And I’m even more scared but also relieved it’s just me I need to think about.

I sometimes fall into this hole, comparing myself to others at my age who achieved much more, they travelled more, they’ve done more, they have a better job, more money and so on.

I loved my Uni years and I wouldn’t change those for anything, but I feel I wasted the rest of my 20s paralysed by insecurities and fears, stuck in an unhealthy relationship that left me with confidence issues. I can’t change my past, so there is no point thinking like that whatsoever, but sometimes I can’t help it.

What shook me to the core was my aunt’s death. That was my wake-up call. That reminded me how short life is and how unhappy I was with my then life.

Two years later, I sometimes I feel I haven’t achieved much (the annoying inner voice taking over) but then I take a second and think of what I have achieved so far, how I managed to finally travel more, Edinburgh, Berlin, Rome, Florence, how I now go home at least twice a year, which is essential for my mental wellbeing, how I became a godmother to my gorgeous Prince, how I learned to live on my own, the first time I almost burnt the whole place down because I forgot the pot on the hob for too long and the water evaporated, the first time I forgot to lock the doors, the first time I had to fix the car on my own, the first time I sold a car (God I miss my Indigo), the first time I had so little money left I could only afford food…, the first time I could afford a proper holiday, the first time I posted a blog, the first time I posted a video of me singing badly to Kodaline, the first time I went to the cinema on my own to watch a Louis Theroux documentary, the first time I finally opened up about my struggles and depression and many many more firsts…

Although I go through a confidence crisis every now and then, sometimes triggered by the smallest thing (I know is silly but that’s how the brain f***s you up, cognitive distortions), I’m very proud of how far I’ve come and if anyone thinks less of me then that’s their problem. Rejection is not easy to digest but as with everything, you learn how to cope and overcome it.

I go through my older posts from time to time and I can see how my writing and I as a person matured since I started this blog.

I’d probably be stuck in a horribly boring and miserable life if it wasn’t for my loving, selfless, brave, sweet, incredibly intelligent, kind aunt and her horrible but noble fight until the very end.

Reading her eulogy at her funeral in front of a church full of people who knew and loved her is the hardest thing I ever had to do in my entire life but also one of the most proud moments of my life so far.

One of the many gems I kept from the incredible Derren Brown’s book Happy was that a person really dies when the last person who remembers them dies too. What a sweet, beautiful notion.

We all love her and she will always live through us. Through her children, her grandchildren, her brother and sisters, her dad, my dearest pappou and all of us.

I’m overwhelmingly proud of my cousin Georgia, my aunt’s daughter, and her seven children and all of the family on how amazingly they did the last two years. We’ve been through a lot as a family but we are closer than ever. I love you all to the moon and back.

I’m always amazed by how we humans cope and bounce back from whatever life throws at us.

I’ve learned from my past and thanks to my aunt I’ve made my present and hopefully my future much better.

So here’s to the present and the future. May be better and brighter, full of laughter and incredible moments.

Rest in peace dear aunt Anna.

Eleni

Revolution-31 days of Yoga #Namaste

Good morning and Happy Sunday! God I love lazy Sunday mornings.

I’m very happy the sun decided to come out this weekend after a windy rainy week. British Summer eh.

I love my food and yesterday I enjoyed a Rubenesque toastie (I LOVE Sourdough bread) in the sun with a friend (at Mettricks Guildhall) which was too delicious not to share with you all.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXapVCzBapN/?taken-by=eleni_zenonos

I can talk about food for ever (I wish I could be a food blogger travelling around the world taking photos and tasting delicious local dishes, that’s the dream!) but today is all about the 31 day yoga programme I’m doing at the moment.

Is designed and run by Adriene Mishler, an American actress and yoga teacher and as the name suggests is daily yoga sessions for 31 days. Her Yoga Youtube channel has 2.4 million subscribers!!

It’s pretty amazing that thousands of people across the world including me tune in to Adriene’s channel every day and follow the same journey.

A friend told me about it a while ago and since I’ve tried yoga before and enjoyed it (although I still struggle with balance!) I thought I’d give it a go. I’m one of those people that feel that the world slows down when exercising and I’m clock watching eagerly waiting for the workout to end so I didn’t think I could commit and do it every single day.

BUT I was pleasantly surprised. I didn’t give up, I’m on day 15 today and I absolutely love it.

Every session has a theme (yesterday was about forgiveness and today is on being fearless!!) and lasts for about half an hour. Time flies by and I never realise, that’s how good it is!

It is designed for everyone, from beginners like me to pros. Some of the poses can be challenging but as regularly mentioned at each session is not about nailing the pose. So if that put you off Yoga, give it another go, and shift your focus on relaxing and enjoying the mental and body exercise rather than perfect every pose.

Adriene is an awesome teacher. She is funny-her spontaneous singing and accidental innuendos make the practice even more fun-, she guides you through every pose and as she always says is not about getting it right or getting physically fit (although that’s definitely one of the perks that comes with it), but is practising the theme of each day and above all, although not explicitly said, mindfulness.

I’m a big advocate of mindfulness (I highly recommend A mindfulness guide for the Frazzled by Ruby Wax) but I found it hard to practise it. Well, not anymore!

Every time I get on my mat, after a minute or two I forget all my worries and things I have to do and I concentrate on my breath and being aware of every inch of my body. And miraculously all negative thoughts just disappear!

I felt the physical benefits from the first couple of days. My muscles across my body from legs to arms feel tighter and I’m aware of my posture almost all the time. AND my balance is getting better. I can’t wait to be able to do the tree pose without falling!

My daily session is on of my favourite times of the day and although there are days that I struggle and my balance and concentration are off, I look forward to it every day!

Yoga will definitely be part of my life from now on.

If you fancy giving it a go or you are just curious to find out more all details here and here.

I quite enjoy blogging lately and I’ll try and do it even more regularly.

I have no idea what my next post will be about though! If you have any ideas you are more than welcome to comment below.

Have a great Sunday!

Namaste

A week of great food, Richard III and the Addams Family.

What a week it has been!

A couple of weeks ago my frustration reached dangerous heights because I can’t do what I really want to do as fast as I’d like to, mainly due to financial reasons (money doesn’t bring happiness, I know, but it definitely helps) and felt very unproductive.

So I decided to take advantage of the free courses through the uni on Lynda.com (I’m on the second series of singing training with the great late Jeannie Deva), got back into learning Italian with DuoLingo and started the free Google Digital Garage suite of digital marketing lessons (you get a certificate in the end, which makes a difference).

And for mental and physical wellbeing I’m doing Adriene Mishler’s 31 Day Yoga Revolution (awesome!) and keep reading. I’ve recently finished When breath becomes air by Paul Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon who was diagnosed and died of cancer at the age of 37. Incredible man, surgeon and writer. It’s worth a read.

But more on the book and the rest of my activities on my next post later this week, with more details and links if you are interested.

This post is all about the Richard III play I saw at the Salisbury cathedral and the Addams Family at the Mayflower.

A couple of months ago the big boss Dave, Donna, Suzanne and I, after our Opera taster (first time I’ve ever been, and it was incredible) were looking for our next culture excursion. Donna has previously seen productions by Antic Disposition (http://www.anticdisposition.co.uk)/) a London-based theatre company that runs classic plays in an innovative way, in unique locations.

So we booked tickets to see Richard III in Salisbury Cathedral last Thursday.

We left Salisbury at 4:30pm as we were first having dinner at 6pm at a little Italian place I found great reviews for on Tripadvisor, (https://leonardoslapiazza.co.uk/) especially for their chocolate cake, which I looked forward to trying. I didn’t stop talking about it for days!

It took us 2 HOURS to get to Salisbury, there was horrific traffic, so we arrived at Salisbury at 6:30pm, thinking of what to have for dinner in the little time we had left before the play, maybe a Burger King or any fast food. But we thought to go to the restaurant first and asked them how fast they could prepare dinner for us. Might as well give it a go.

The service was incredible. A big thank you to the manager and the staff for preparing our food as fast as they could. We ordered at 6:40pm, the mains arrived in 15 minutes and I finished mine in 10 minutes, the fastest I’ve ever eaten, in a desperate effort to make enough time to try their chocolate cake.

And I was not disappointed. It was delicious! The unexpected Nutella layer was the icing on the cake (hah I just read this sentence again). I finished my pudding in the record time of 2 minutes and we had 10 minutes to run to the Cathedral.

I got a bit distracted by the cake display and I asked the manager about their cakes. He told me all about how all their food, including their cakes is homemade and they make different ones every day. They had tiramisu, chocolate truffle, mango cheesecake and panna cotta on that day! I’m going again when I get the chance to try more of their puddings.

We finally made it at the Cathedral on time (after the restaurant manager let us out from the back door to save us more time!).

I’ve passed by the Salisbury cathedral before but I’ve never been inside. I was in awe. What a gorgeous building. There is something special, mystical about old buildings that I love.

The play took place in the middle of the Cathedral, with seats set on the left and the right of the ‘stage’ area. We booked seats in the front row and I’m glad we did. I got the chance to watch carefully every actor, their expressions, their movements, everything.

What an amazing production! The atmosphere was breathtaking, the natural light coming in from the large stained glass windows. All the actors were incredible, never broke out of character although we were literally in their faces.

Richard III winked at me when he deliriously gloated about his scheming and plotting (always in character, he wasn’t hitting on me!) and I was given a little flag to wave when Edward V arrived to London to be crowned king, which I kept to remember this night.

I didn’t really know much about Richard III and sometimes Shakespeare is not easy to follow but this play was incredible. I can’t wait to go see their next one. I’d definitely recommend it to everyone!

All in all, it was a wonderful evening I’ll never forget.

A couple of days ago a colleague told us about an offer a friend at Mayflower emailed him about(thank you Michael!), £10 tickets for any seats to see the Addams Family, starring Les Dennis, Carrie Hope Fletcher and Samantha Womack, amongst others.

So I booked great seats and last night, two friends and I went to see the Addams Family. I loved the movie when I was a kid and unashamedly I occasionally still watch it on a lazy Sunday afternoon but didn’t know whether I’d enjoy the musical adaptation.

I was extremely tired, as I woke up super early the day before to do my yoga class and didn’t come home from Salisbury until 11pm, I thought’ I’d probably fall asleep in the theatre, the seats at the Mayflower are very comfy.

But I was pleasantly surprised by the whole production (and I didn’t fall asleep).

Great costumes and sets, a lots of laughter, brilliant singing and the cast was amazing.

The biggest surprise for me was Les Dennis who played Uncle Fester. I’ve only known him as the presenter of Family Fortunes, I didn’t know he could sing that well and he was hilarious!

It’s been a productive, fun and entertaining week. I’m still tired but all worth it.

I now have the weekend to recuperate, get organised and make plans for the next couple of months, including my Christmas ticket home!

Not owning a credit card and saving money is painful but necessary if I’ll ever change career, move on and travel more. But this week reminded me that I can still have fun and enjoy my life as it is in the meantime.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend!

Eleni

A year without her…you are always in our hearts… Αιωνια σου η μνημη θεια μου καλη μου.

A year ago, on this day, 17th of October, 2015 my beloved aunt Anna died.

On Saturday morning, 17/10/15, having quit a job I hated the day before, I was on a plane to Cyprus knowing I was going there to say goodbye to my wonderful aunt Anna who went through hell for a year battling stage 4 cancer… but I was 10 minutes late…she died before I got there. I won’t go into detail again because it was not just one of but the hardest, most heartbreaking and life-changing moment of my life. And it still gets me…

But if you want to know more about this amazing soul, what happened that day, the funeral 2 days later (19th of October, 2015 a difficult, sad but humbling and beautiful, sunny day none of us will ever forget) and what happened after that I’ve posted a series of blogs a while ago… (https://whatilearnedbeforeiturn30.wordpress.com/2016/02/26/4-months-ago-part-2-dedicated-to-my-aunt-anna/)

It’s worth posting again the school essay my little nephew, her grandson wrote about her a couple of months after her death..

For those who lost someone close to them who they loved dearly… this might sound familiar. I’ve lost other relatives before, but my aunt was the first person to lose that I was so close to…

The pain never really goes away. It gets easier to control as the time passes by, as we get on living our lives but it’s always there and sometimes hurts as much as it did on that day… I could only describe it as a healing wound that gets scratched every now and then and hurts again. It gets easier to live with but it’s always there.

And today it hurts as much as that day. I can’t even imagine how it feels for my cousin. If it was my mum I wouldn’t be able to cope with it that well. She is a real heroine. Γεωργία μου είσαι ηρωίδα μάνα και η θεία βλέπει σε που ψηλά και χαίρεται!

I used to listen to a lot of songs then but one especially, before her death and afterwards… a song narrating what Stephanie Rainey went through when she lost her nephew… The video is worth watching, it shows people who lost a loved one, holding up a placard, sharing how they felt, what they thought their loved ones would tell them if they were alive and what they would tell them if they could… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLJ6r8mBPJc

I can’t believe it’s already been a year. So much has happened in a year… And although I went through a rough patch, I wouldn’t change anything.

I’ve had an amazing year and it all comes down to that day…

Although I knew, we all do, that life is short and can change in an instant, her death and knowing that such a loving, caring person spent most of her life only thinking of others until her very last breath, sacrificing her own happiness for others and rarely did what she really wanted, and suddenly diagnosed, suffered and died of cancer within a year, completely changed my mindset.

It’s been hard to accept she is really gone and for months I couldn’t handle my emotions, the pain was too much to deal with and with everything else happening in my life at the time, I felt lost and doubted my self, I overreacted, I went through all the grief stages over and over, but because of her I think I came out of it a better person…

Because of her I try new things even when I’m terrified…

Because of her I don’t stay upset or sad for too long…

And because of her I only do what I want and I don’t even try to pretend I enjoy things I don’t…

And because of her, I learned to appreciate and make little things count. I was told recently ‘It doesn’t take much to make you laugh’. No, it really doesn’t. I make the most of every little thing and I laugh at silly things like ‘Limkokwing’ and get excited about a bacon roll or chocolate popping candy enhanced orange (magic!) because that’s what life is about. Enjoy the little things, appreciate these little beautiful moments.

Unless you are incredibly rich (although I don’t think rich people are happy all the time, it’s not all about money) you, as most of us, spend most of your time at work, with friends and family, and those moments are precious, this is our life and it’s more fun when you are having a good laugh!

I’m not stupid or naive or immature. If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry… not because I’m crazy but because thinking about my responsibilities, problems, things that need fixing, people I miss, things I want to do but I can’t right now, bad experiences I’ve been through, all the horrible things happening in the world and a million other things, it upsets me, it makes me sad. We all have coping mechanisms and mine is laughing it off.

I want to thank Sheba, I love you babe, I REALLY REALLY hope you get to fulfil your dreams very soon. Thank you for being there for me all this time through thick and thin… You’ve been there for me when I quit my job, broke up, lost my aunt, job-hunting, crying over people and things that were not worth it… And thank you for the incredibly amazing time we had and are having! #ninjasintraining.

To my family, I love you all and can’t wait to see you soon… Sending you hugs and all my love, especially today…

A big thank you to my SSU family, who they offered me a job, stability and security when I needed it the most, when everything else in my life was falling apart.

For everyone going through cancer treatment… A big big big hug… I know everyone copes with it differently, but seeing what my aunt went through, chemo, radiotherapy, immunotherapy, liver failure, depression, horrendous physical and emotional pain… however you are dealing it, you are a hero!

And finally a message for my aunt:

I’m so so sorry I was away for most of the time you were going through all the horrendous treatment and pain… and I’m sorry I was 10 minutes late… Had I known, I would have ran out of the plane, leave all my stuff behind and come straight to the hospital…

What I wouldn’t give to be able to talk to you one last time… I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet your grandson, my godson! He is the sweetest, cleverest little boy, our little prince. We all love you and miss you a lot… especially on family gatherings…

I’ll never forget your unconditional love and kindness, how much you loved your farm, land and animals, your beautiful words, your incredible cooking, the big birthday parties and celebrations on your terrace underneath your vine rooftop, and your beautiful smile even when you were in pain…

Thank you for changing my life, without knowing… You will always have a home inside my soul….

Θεία μου συγνώμη που δεν ημούν εκεί όταν έκαμες τις θεραπείες και συγνώμη που άργησα 10 λεπτά. Μακάρι να μπορούσα να σε δω και να σου μιλήσω μια τελευταία φορά. Λυπάμαι που δεν γνώρισες τον εγγονό σου τον Στέφανο μας, το μικρό μας πρίγκηπα.

Θα θυμάμαι πάντα την αγάπη σου για τη γη, τα ζώα, τα υπέροχα φαγητά σου και τα τραπέζια στην αυλή σου κάτω που το αμπέλι σου, την απέραντη αγάπη σου για όλους μας, τη καλοσύνη, την ταπεινότητα, την αγνή ψυχή σου και το χαμόγελο σου ακόμα κι οταν πονούσες.

Σε ευχαριστώ που τα βάθη της ψυχής μου που μου άλλαξες τη ζωή χωρίς να το ξέρεις. Θα σ’αγαπούμε για πάντα.

Αιωνία σου η μνήμη θεία μου.