Tag: work

Blogmas bittersweet day 4

Day 4…

Blogmas is turning into a personal journal, it feels like a daily therapy session.

Today I was in a good mood in the morning, quite rare for a Monday.

Royal Mail delivered the little Christmas tree I ordered first thing in the morning just before I left for work, which cheered me up.

Andi, one of my favourite people at the Uni, the older brother I never had, was back at work today after his two week holiday, I really looked forward to seeing his little face peeking over his PC and in the afternoon the whole department would get to decorate the office with brand new decs and a REAL tree!

I’ve put together a Christmas playlist, we were to bring in festive snacks, biscuits, mince pies, cheese (I have to give it to Donna, she went all out!) and Sarah was bringing delicious mulled cider. I couldn’t wait! It was going to be a great Monday for a change.

As I mentioned before, my best friend Shebz is going away soon and today she handed in her notice. I knew about it months ago but today it got real. I’m extremely happy and proud of her, getting out there, travelling, exploring the world, like she always wanted to but I’m equally sad as I won’t see her every day, go on our adventures, chat about random things for hours, advise and comfort each other… When I get the time I’ll post a blog just about her!

What I didn’t know was that Andi is also leaving. I can’t describe how happy I am for him. He is an amazing, sweet, sensitive, intelligent man who deserves the best and he can finally now move on to a more rewarding, challenging job in London.  But I will dearly miss him. I wasn’t prepared for this although as soon as he said he had some news the first thing I said was ‘Are you leaving?’ I just knew.

I was in shock and went through waves of sadness and happiness all day. The Christmas decorations, music and food (especially the Cheese Christmas trees dipped in Camembert cheese) definitely lifted my mood and the office looks festive and lovely.

Now, after re-scheduling my PT session ( I couldn’t possibly exercise after all the cheese and mulled cider) I’m at home, desperately trying to put my thoughts and feelings in order.

After Christmas, two of my favourite people are leaving Southampton and I feel more stuck than ever. But that pushed me to make a decision, and it’s not easy for me to do, that’s why I’m still here.

I was thinking about it over the last few days but today I decided if I want to move forward, something’s gotta give. The most realistic way to save money fast so I can go into a more interesting job or try my lack elsewhere is to move to a shared flat or house. It’s a big deal for me, I love living on my own and it’s not going to be easy. I’m sure I’ll be OK though.

I contacted my landlord to hand in my notice as my contract expires in January. That only gives me a couple of weeks to find a new place before the Christmas break. But my landlord offered to let me stay on a month to month basis so I don’t have to rush!! Not many landlords would have done that, his kindness melted my little heart. Thank you James. I can now enjoy my Christmas holidays and come back and look for a new place.

Life is full of surprises and today was a great example.

It’s been a bizarre day… A bittersweet Monday…

Namaste

Eleni

 

Is there really skills shortage?

I’ve just been reading a post on Insider Media on the expected growth of South East Businesses over the next year which is great news for Southampton.

But the same survey run by Hays has also showed that 81% of the 2,442 South East employers and employees who took part are being challenged by skills shortages.

But is it really skills shortage?

Let’s take myself for example.

I have numerous qualifications: BA (Hons) Psychology, MSc Research Methods in Psychology, Occupational Testing Personality and Ability, BPS Qualification in Occupational Psychology (equivalent to MSc) and PRINCE2 Foundation and Practitioner, although I haven’t utilised much of my knowledge and skills gained from them in my career so far.

Through my work experience, mainly as a Research and Data Analysis Officer and Senior Compliance Officer at Solent I gained a long list of useful, transferable skills.

I’ve interviewed students for temporary work, I worked with them giving out flyers and goodies, I’ve taken part in marketing campaigns promoting student surveys and all the good work happening across the University from coming up with ideas for marketing material and incentives, designing leaflets to updating the relevant webpages.

I ran cognitive interviews and focus groups with students and academics, exploring issues around student satisfaction, I managed the annual graduate phone survey (from the very start, recruiting and managing a group of student phone researchers to analysing and presenting the results) for years and produced endless reports on graduate recruitment, student satisfaction, staff satisfaction and many more for staff, from academics to Senior Managers.

I organised events at the Uni mainly for staff, from sending invites, organising catering, putting together material to give out to presenting to them and asking for feedback afterwards.

I learn incredibly fast, let it be new processes, procedures, systems. Don’t get me started on software, from SPSS to Contensis to Quercus.

I have a more than the average person knowledge on various different areas, Social Media, marketing, mental health, event management and advertising because I just love learning about them.

I’m aware about most of the events happening in Southampton, often before others find out because I love finding out about and trying new things and getting involved with the community. That’s how I met Bene and tried hot yoga, I discovered Women Who Do, I spent an awesome day volunteering for Southampton Pride and took part in Summer in the Square in the last couple of months.

One of my great loves is food. I love trying new things and I love good food. And of course I love talking about it. One of my favourite conversations recently was with the Director of Finance about herbs and spices!

Often others come to me for restaurant and coffee places recommendations in town or even where to get the best food at the University.

I love music and yoga as anyone who follows me on Social Media knows and I feel so happy every time people tell me they loved a song I shared or they tried yoga because they read my posts!

Most importantly, my most precious, invaluable skills cannot be obtained through work because they come from the person I am, from my personality.

I’m a social person. I can have a conversation with anyone about anything. I love talking to people. One of my favourite posts is the one about my afternoon at a Turkish barbers in town, chatting to the owner about Cypriot and Turkish cuisine and culture.

Throughout the years I’ve developed great relationships with students, course leaders, managers, Directors, cleaners, shop assistants, colleagues I don’t work with from other departments and made friends with people I met through volunteering and going to events I find interesting.

I’m incredibly creative. I come up with random ideas about almost anything, food, decoration, events, fundraising (like our Snowdonia Climb)posts (my blog is a great example!).

And I love helping out, that why I volunteer when I can, from the Graduation,  and Open Day to the Half Marathon and Southampton Pride. And through helping out I’m making friends from all walks of life along the way. I’m currently helping a fellow Cypriot with her move to Southampton, checking out flats for her. And I love it.

I can go on and on.

I work as a Senior Compliance Officer, which is a standard, boring, 9 to 5 job, most of the time in front of a PC staring at spreadsheets. I love the people but not what I do.

It is incredibly difficult to change careers and move to a job I can actually put in use most of my skills and knowledge.

Why? Because I don’t have ‘relevant extensive experience’ in marketing/events management/advertising/PR/Mental Health, I lack the ‘skills’ necessary, I’m one of those on the ‘skills shortage’ side.

I will have to start from scratch, on an entry level position which of course I don’t mind but I can’t afford it financially. My plan is to save over the next year and take the plunge. Unless I’m given the chance by one of the employers I apply for work, highly unlikely.

So, my advice to employers:

Look beyond someone’s work experience and work related skills. Unless is a very technical job, most skills can be easily and quickly taught if you recruit the right person, the person who might not necessarily have all relevant work skills but the one who will be the best fit in your team and is keen to learn.

My biggest, most desired goal for 2018 is to finally move to a job I can enjoy and will give me the opportunity to utilise my skills and make a difference, whatever and wherever that might be.

I’ve been reading about Emotional Intelligence lately and years worth of research suggests that empathy, optimism, hope and enjoyment in what you do is a significantly better prediction of success than IQ (I can’t recommend Daniel Goleman’s book and work highly enough).

I’m confident on my abilities, I believe in myself and I’m optimistic about the future.  No matter how many rejections I may face (I didn’t get an interview for the job I recently applied to in case you were wondering) I know for a fact that whoever believes in me and gives me a chance even if I’m not the ‘right person’ on paper, they will not regret it.

In the meantime, I’ll keep learning and use my dead-end job survival techniques to keep me going.

Eleni

 

 

 

Hello November

Happy November!

Winter is almost here. Crispy cold in the morning, dark when I leave work. And Christmas is coming, I can feel it in the air.

New month, new beginnings again for me. And I could not be more grateful.

About this time last year I didn’t want to leave the house, I struggled to find any motivation to do anything, I didn’t feel like blogging or doing anything else for that matter.

A year later, it couldn’t be more different.

October was busy but exciting.

From trying Scandinavian food with one of my favourite friends, trying new cafes in town, dinner and drinks with my favourite work friends to meeting new people through social media and face to face such as the lovely Selina who is a freelance consultant for Arbonne, and the inspiring Beth and Mel, who just started their skincare company, Cherish.

 

Smörgåsbord
Cherish Skincare

I felt incredibly happy when, after my post about networking I received messages from people I didn’t expect and we are now arranging chats with coffee to get to know each other better. How great is that.

My post on how I survive work in a dead end job is now my most read post and the response I got caught me by surprise!

But it doesn’t end there.

I absolutely loved the Women Who Do Breakfast and Networking last week. And through this event I’ve met the incredible Bene, a hot power yoga teacher in Southampton and I’ll soon been trying her classes and tell you all about it.  I met with Benedita and Ian, her partner and also yoga teacher, yesterday and we chatted all about yoga and her story so far. You all know by now how much I love yoga and how it helped and helps me physically and mentally. It was one of the most interesting, inspiring conversations I had in a while.

Women Who Do
Women Who Do

I spent last Sunday at the University, volunteering for the Open Day, which I’d recommend it to any University staff, what a beautiful day that was.

The Pod
The Pod

I’ve also signed up for free six month Personal Training (thank you Solent Health!) with one of our BA Fitness and Personal Training students who I actually met today.

And I’m halfway through my Salsa Beginners classes which I really enjoy.

And I’m back at the workplace choir. I finally made it back. I missed everyone, especially Dan!

These are just some of the things I got up to. I’m exhausted but I loved every moment.

I can’t believe how much I learned over the last year and improved myself. There is still work to be done but I’m happy in my skin.

I’m now confident enough to apply for a job I’m really interested in but I have no extensive ‘relevant’ work experience because I’m not scared anymore. I believe in myself and even if I don’t get it, I’ll learn something from it.

I want to end this post with a big big thank you to everyone for all your comments and love for my blog. I really felt it this last couple of weeks. It melt my tiny, little heart. To receive so much love for something I do because I love and enjoy doing it is overwhelmingly beautiful.

I can’t wait to see what else November will bring!

Namaste

Eleni

 

My first Solent Open Day

Most of you spent the precious extra hour yesterday in bed.

I didn’t. But it was totally and utterly worth it.

A couple of weeks ago our External Relations department asked for any volunteers to work on Open Days the University runs for prospective students.

I love volunteering for events across the Uni, I learn so much and I enjoy doing something different as you know by now, so I signed up.

I didn’t realise I had to be at the University at 7:15am on a Sunday!

Early mornings is not my strongest point so I’m glad I had that extra hour. The morning walk was amazing. It was very quiet, I could only hear the birds and a car or two every now and then. There’s something special being awake, out and about when most people are still in bed.

I arrived at the Uni on time and the lovely Rebecca who plans and runs the Open Days at the University briefed us on what our duties would be on the day.

After a quick check of the teaching rooms and a warm, delicious coffee and a chocolate cookie we were ready to welcome our future students and their family and friends.

I was placed at the Atrium, where all the information stands were set, where all the action happens and I spent most of the day doing something I really love, chatting to people. I chatted to prospective students and their guests directing them where they wanted to go, answering any questions I could and of course talking to them about our impressive new building, the Spark.

Everyone was in awe of the Pod!

The Pod
The Pod

What I enjoyed the most was chatting to our Student Ambassadors. As most of support staff working at Universities, especially in my most recent position at Solent, I don’t get to talk to students as often (or work with them as I used to), the ones who we really work for, to make their experience the best it can get. I think all staff should spend time with students, it’s an eye opener.

I loved hearing them talk about their course, how much they enjoy and love it, what they want to do next, their dreams about the future, unspoiled and untouched by the harsh reality of being an adult. And I loved sharing what I learnt from my life so far and advising them to be bold and fearless, follow their dreams NOW and not wait for anything.

Nicola, who did an amazing job as a team leader on the day, studies Acoustic Engineering and she told me all about her amazing dissertation proposal. Unfortunately I can’t share it in case someone reads this and steals her idea.

Deana is studying Criminology, which she absolutely loves and she wants to move to London after her studies. I loved my time with Deana, we talked about food, TV shows and movies (Stranger Things was mentioned a lot!), her life as a student and her struggles. At that moment I realised how similar student life is to single adult life (or maybe how similar is my life to student life…) but also how much I learned and changed since I left Uni.

Maria is studying Fine Art and she is moving to Portsmouth to work at the Historic Dockyard after she finishes her studies!

I also got the chance to talk to Greek and Cypriot students. Oh I loved it so much. Talking in my mother language to young Greeks. I felt like their eldest sister, giving them advice and listening to their dreams and aspirations. It made me miss home but it also felt like home.

I thoroughly enjoyed talking to some of our academics and course leaders and learn about the amazing work they do. Baxter the robot impressed everyone who interacted with it!

Baxter
Baxter

I’d describe the whole experience as a big party, a celebration of our University. Academics, support staff, students, future students all together in our beautiful teaching space.

I’m still tired and my legs hurt but I’d do it every day if I could. I’d advise any University staff to volunteer to help with Open Days. You’ll learn more than you expect about the University, our staff and students. And you’ll spend a day with lovely colleagues.

Thank you to Rebecca who let me be part of this.

Eleni

My way of networking

‘I hate networking’

I’ve heard that so many times. I hate networking too. I hate ‘traditional’ networking. Or the most common concept of networking.

Fake politeness, the uneasiness and feeling uncomfortable introducing yourself to strangers worrying what they may think, predictable questions and answers, pretending you are listening but you are not because you are incredibly bored and you just want to make more connections.

But I don’t think that’s how networking should be. It’s not about quantity, it is all about quality.

For me networking is about meeting new people and finding out not just about their work and how they got where they are, but their life in general.

I firmly believe every single human has amazing stories to share we can all learn from.

On Friday, I had a chat with a local baker who I met on Facebook and he recently started his own business making and selling amazing cakes (blog coming soon). And we didn’t just talk about cakes. We talked about the food culture in the UK and Cyprus, homemade cooking and the struggles of setting up your own business amongst other things. It felt and it was a natural, honest conversation. That’s my kind of networking.

It makes it much easier, less uncomfortable and less scary to network when you are just yourself and you try to really get to know the other person sitting opposite you.

Many think networking is only meeting new people. But when was the last time you had a chat over coffee with colleagues you know of but don’t really know?

Yesterday I spent an hour having coffee and chatting with Osama Khan, the Director  of Learning and Teaching and head of the University’s Solent Learning and Teaching Institute (SLTI). I’ve known Osama for a while but we never got the chance to really get to know each other. And it was one of the most pleasant, informative, honest, enjoyable conversations I had recently.

The most common comment I hear from people about my blog is how honest it is and how openly I write. And I’m very proud it comes across so clearly.

It’s still amazes me after 7 years of being in this country how others are often surprised and caught of guard when you say what you really think, always within reason (rudeness is never OK), when you are being honest.

But that’s how you end up having amazing, interesting, real conversations with others, that’s how you really connect with others, not just when networking.

I urge you to get out there and ask whoever you’d like to network with to meet for a cuppa. What’s the worst it can happen? If they say no for whatever reason, it’s their loss. They’ll miss out on meeting an incredible person with great stories and lessons to share.

It’s easy to forget how awesome you are when comparing yourself with other’s careers and achievements or when you’ve been underestimated or looked down in the past. But don’t, please don’t forget how amazing you are.

Meeting new people is one of my favourite things to do and I’d be happy to meet with anyone who’d like to have a coffee (if it’s Greek coffee even better) and a chat.

My way of networking.

Eleni

How I survive work in a dead end job.

Happy Sunday! I was going to post this tomorrow but I thought it’d be better to do it today, in case my survival techniques can make your Monday better, if you are in a similar situation.

I wanted to write about this for a while although I was advised not to, because it might cause problems at work. But it shouldn’t. I hope it won’t.

I love Solent, it has been my work family home for almost 6 years now (with a short 3 month break). I’ve learned a lot and I made friends for life. This is not about Solent. Although ideally I’d like to work somewhere else for a change, Solent is an awesome employer and I love the people I work with.

This is about being trapped in a dead end job, with no progression and is not even about progression, but the tasks, my day to day roles and responsibilities which are de-motivating. For me anyway. I’m sure for others, my job would be a perfect fit.  So this post is about how I deal with it and hopefully you who are reading this right now might benefit from it.

My job

Not many know exactly what I do when I tell them I’m a Senior Compliance Officer. Well first of all, is nothing to do with Compliance. I co-ordinate the fees process working with some of our Directors who I admire and I’m responsible for the course file, basically anything to do with the course set up on the system. I spend most of my day in front of my PC, staring at spreadsheets and Quercus (the course system). Which I find quite frankly soul-destroying. There is no skill variety or challenge. I’m a social person, I love chatting, meeting people, I love anything creative, anything out of the norm and I hate routine. Is obvious I’m not the best fit for an 8-hour a day desk based job.

I have great responsibilities which I honour day in and day out. Because as much as I don’t enjoy what I do, I always want to be the best at my job. I’ve been in this role for two years now and I don’t think I’m exaggerating to say that I’ve already improved the processes and the system.

‘A job is just a job’

For many their work is just means to an end. They don’t care what they do and how they do it, it just pays the bills. And that’s great. But unfortunately for me is more than that. We spend most of our time at work. We spend more time at work rather than anywhere else. So for me, it has to be rewarding, challenging, interesting. It has to be more. I cannot numb my brain and switch off for 8 hours.

‘Why don’t you leave?

I’ve recently listened to a podcast of Bob Sutton, a Stanford professor and author of the ‘Asshole Survival Guide’ on how to deal with difficult people at work. His tips can easily apply to ‘Work Survival’ in general, His first advice was: If you can afford it, leave. If you can, quit!

I hear that a lot. Many have advised me to do so. Quit. Follow your dreams. Don’t be scared. Take risks!

Well it’s not that simple. I can’t just quit. I have no savings, I’m still paying off my debts and my family can’t support me financially. And I wouldn’t even ask them if they could. This is my fight. I love them to bits and I’d do anything to help them, not the other way around.

I could just move back home, live with my parents for a while until I get an average job, as there are not many great career opportunities on a gorgeous but small island. So that’s out of the question.

If I were to quit I’d have to move to another data analysis/staring at spreadsheets job to be able to cope financially, which is not what I want.

So what do I do??

Learn as much as you can on what you want to do.

I love digital marketing, Social Media, event planning, guest relations, anything to do with interacting with others, but I have no extensive ‘work experience’ in these areas. I would need to start from the bottom and to do so I need money. Money doesn’t bring happiness but it does help you reach the things that will make you happy.

But what I do at the moment is spend some of my free time learning more about the fields I’m interested in and improving my knowledge on them. Lynda.com is amazing when it comes to free resources (it is free for Solent employees) and I’ve already learned a lot in the last couple of months.

I also volunteer through work whenever I get the chance. I loved helping out with Graduation, conferences, getting out of the office and meeting new people.

So that’s my first tip. If you are in a similar situation use your free time to your benefit and try and get as much as you can through your current role. Learn more on what you want to go into.

Humour

It is vital to have a laugh at work, within reason of course. But short breaks to talk to my colleagues and have a laugh is one of the few things that keeps me going. I’m very lucky I’m surrounded by funny, witty colleagues who are always up for a chat and a laugh.  Humour is also recommended by Bob Sutton when dealing with difficult people at work.

Make your desk your own

I’ve decorated my desk with memorabilia from home, gifts from colleagues and friends, Kinder Egg prizes because I embrace my childish side and I set up a gorgeous photo of my favourite Cyprus beach I took a year ago as my PC wallpaper. Anything that makes my surroundings colourful and pretty and reminds me of who I am helps. You spend most of your time at your desk, might as well make it feel homely, even if you wish you were anywhere else.

Music

Music is my saviour. It really is. I would simply not survive if I were not allowed to stick my headphones on and listen to music. I absolutely love Spotify and I’d pay more if I had to. Discover Weekly on Mondays, New Music Fridays and my personal long playlist with all my favourites for all moods which I go through several times a day depending on what I fancy to listen to at that moment. This is my playlist, which I add on every week if you want to listen to what I listen to, it has a little bit of everything, from indie to pop to rock to Greek music, not sure anyone else would like it, but even if it helps one person, then totally worth sharing it.

Regular breaks

If you sit at a desk all day, have short breaks every hour or so. It is recommended by Health and Safety! Get off your chair, go for a walk or just stand. And don’t spend your lunchtime at your desk. Make time to get out even if it’s in another room or a friend’s office or go for a wander at the nearest park. Lunch time is sacred, is you time, personal time, use it wisely.

Treat yourself

Every now and then I’ll treat myself to delicious coffee from my two favourite coffeeshops in town, Mettricks or Coffeelab or a nice lunch or an afternoon snack. Little treats go a long way!

Break the routine

There are many ways to do that, be creative. For me is essential to do something different every day, otherwise it feels like Groundhog day, over and over again. So I have lunch at different places through the week, I change my route to and from to work every couple of days, I try and do a couple of different tasks at work in a single day and not spend the whole day on just one thing, unless I have to.

Do what you love when you are not at work

Finally, what keeps me sane is what I do when I’m not at work. Find what makes you happy, what relaxes you, what you love and spend your evenings and weekends, however tired, drained or frustrated you might feel, doing these things.

For me is daily Yoga (Yoga with Adriene, which I’ve mentioned many a times here), my guitar, singing, blogging, drawing, reading, eating out, theatre, trying new things, photography, travelling and social media amongst others.

I love Instagram, I spend hours scrolling through travel photos, food (I love food), interior decoration, funny memes etc and I post a lot because I love taking photos. Twitter is my public journal. I follow and learn from inspirational people on LinkedIn and Facebook is for friends and family.

I spend a lot of time with my bestie (our daily chats is therapy for me) and other friends I love and since my family and best friends live in Cyprus, you’ll see me a lot of the time on my phone chatting to them.

Don’t forget how awesome you are

Yes, that’s right. You are awesome. When you are trapped in a dead-end job, the chances are you are scared to move on even when you can, because you lose your confidence, you forget all the skills and knowledge you proudly own. When I left Solent the first time, my then manager and now great friend Chris wrote on my leaving card not to forget how awesome I am at what I do and be confident on my abilities and I go back and read it whenever I go through a confidence crisis. I remind myself what Chris said and all the feedback I get from my current manager and my colleagues. I go through the messages and comments I get on my blog and Social Media posts and when I’m feeling low I remind myself that I’m better than I think.

This is how I manage. This is how I keep going until I can move on to a more exciting job.

Nobody will come out of nowhere and offer me my dream job, although that would be pretty awesome, so for now I’m exercising my patience and improving myself whilst keeping my eyes open for any opportunities I can go for.

Namaste

Eleni

 

Patience is the path

Happy Tuesday! Well. Sort of. It’s been a challenging day for me.

I found it extremely hard to concentrate.

I spent most of the day at work writing my PDR. I know that PDRs are supposed to be useful and necessary (although I believe that a large part of it is not of any use depending on your role and responsibilities, it should be shorter and more concise) but surely I’m not the only one that’s dreading it?

So I had to exercise my patience and perseverance skills. Every time I got distracted (and that happened A LOT throughout the day) I put my music back on and wrote a little bit more, and then a little bit more.

And I’m almost done. I should be done by tomorrow. But oh my Lord it was hard to keep going.

The selection of delicious homemade cakes freshly prepared by a colleague (thank you Craig!) brightened my day and lunchtime was a pleasant break. Sunshine makes any day better (although it’s harder to concentrate and be motivated to keep working when the sun is shining outside and you are stuck behind a desk) and spending lunch with my best friend in the sun is one of my favourite things to do.

Sheba and I went to where most Solent people go if they fancy quick lunch, Mettricks. I do love this place. Not only because it has delicious food, great coffee and tea, good vibe (love the leather armchairs!) but also because it is local and independent.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BX0JsBBhrP6/?taken-by=eleni_zenonos

That’s what I think Southampton needs more of. Character, uniqueness, individuality (no more chain restaurants and shops!). And Mettricks is one of the very few independent cafes in the city centre, with Halladays being my all time favourite! If you haven’t been, you should!

We spent our lunch chatting, whinging, laughing, dreaming of sunny holidays and travelling, craving new beginnings, whilst having a nice cup of tea.

Not sure what to make of the tea I had-trying new things is always exciting- it was one of the weirdest tastes I’ve ever experienced (it’s called Lapsong and it’s very smokey, it tastes how I’d imagine boiling a tree brunch or a stick in water would taste, if that makes any sense!). But I loved sitting in the sun chatting away with one of my favourite people, and occasionally waving at Solent Colleagues passing by.

Although there was this baby, he must have been around 10 months old, maybe a bit younger, sitting just opposite us, who wouldn’t stop giving us death stares the whole time we were there, not smiling at all, not even once. It was the first time I was ever scared of a baby!

death stare

And then I came home to do my Yoga practice. Day 24 woohoo.

And today’s theme was patience! Either irony, coincidence or an opportunity to continue practising patience!

It was a 47 minute long session, that I just finished doing. And it has completely and utterly relaxed me.

So I guess my message for today is patience is a virtue. Is not in any way or sense easy. But the more you practise it, the better you get at it.

And remember to enjoy every little moment, even when you are patiently working towards your goals, dreams or aspirations, whatever they might be. You do not want to miss the present because you are only looking forward to the future.

I’m not sure that everything it is as it should be, as often Adriene says, but I’m now super ready to face tomorrow.

Namaste

Eleni

What makes a good boss?

About 4 months ago, after a tough week at work, I was reminded again how lucky I am to have a great line manager but also how some managers severely lack essential, basic skills and attributes of a good boss.

A vast majority of us spend most of our working days in front of a computer, performing repetitive tasks, working on a spreadsheet or a database for hours. Not everyone enjoys what they do for a living but not many quit because of it.

Most stay in a job that they don’t necessarily enjoy because of great colleagues and most importantly a great manager. And most, even in highly paid positions, quit because of their managers.

Throughout my career so far I came across great managers, OK managers and a terrible one. I quit a job after three months because of my manager.

There is a long long list of skills and attributes of a good manager, based on decades of research that I’ve studied for years when working towards my stage 1 qualification in Occupational Psychology, but I’ve summed up what I think, based on my experience so far, are basic, essential skills below.

I thought it would be a good idea to set up a completely anonymous, short, single question survey to see what others think and I got some amazing responses, most of them similar to my thoughts and views. I added them in quotation marks throughout this post.

I strongly believe that not everyone can be a manager, however many books they read or courses they take.

First and most importantly to be a good manager you need good people skills. Empathy, patience, honesty and communication (especially good listening skills) are vital.

“Someone who listens, supports, and help you grow professionally and personally!”

“Fairness, support, understanding, be prepared to listen. Good communicator to the team. Ability to reprimand if necessary. Trustworthy and discreet.”

Not all people have strong interpersonal skills so it doesn’t come as a surprise that not all managers do either. Quite often, getting promoted comes with managing others without assessing their managerial skills (there is a great suite of psychometric tests that can be used for that purpose, although not many employers do).

You are managing a person, not a robot.  We are all humans. Although we do our best to be as productive as possible at work, life can get pretty tough and a manager needs to be able to empathise and genuinely care about their staff’s physical and mental wellbeing.

Pretending to care or blindly following steps/rules/advice from ‘Management skills 101’ coaching courses is worse than not caring.

A good manager knows how to support their staff but also trusts them and give them space and autonomy.

“One who trusts his/her team to do their jobs properly and does not micromanage, but is there to support and discipline when required.”

“Fairness, support, understanding, be prepared to listen. Good communicator to the team. Ability to reprimand if necessary. Trustworthy and discreet.”

A good manager knows the individual’s strengths and weaknesses and unique character and cares about their career development, helping them to reach their full potential even if that leads them to a different job or employer.

“A good boss should change their management style for each individual employee. They need to strike a balance between oversight and letting you get on with the stuff you know how to do. They should be willing to work with you on your professional development. Most importantly they should deliver on the things they say they’re going to do… there’s nothing worse than a manager who promises change but then never delivers. My boss is awesome!!”

A good manager strikes the right balance by managing their staff effectively whilst ensuring that the business also strives.

“A good boss is someone who has put the infrastructure and support in place, to ensure the business is efficient and fully functioning regardless of any absences in personnel , including their own.”

Professionalism is essential but a sense of humour and having a laugh every now and then makes a world of a difference.

Finally, a good manager leads by example.

“Someone who is honest has integrity: leads from the front inspires and able to communicate a clear vision. Has your back , but also able give constructive feedback oh not forgetting to give credit when warranted. Sense of fun can also go a long way. Able to unite a team.”

Thank you everyone for your amazing responses. Feel free to share your thoughts by commenting below 🙂

I’m closing this post with one of my favourite comments:

“I once read a really interesting article about what makes a good boss but I haven’t been able to find it since. In essence, it said that a good manager often has a certain amount of self-doubt, and this makes them consult with their team and listen carefully to their opinions before deciding on a way forward with a particular issue or task. What was really interesting about the article though was it’s assertion that good managers almost always become bad managers over time. They get told so often that they’re great at managing people that they lose their self-doubt and begin to believe that their ability to manage is an inherent strength, not just a factor of their tendency to consult their staff, and begin making a lot of unpopular unilateral decisions etc. I was lucky enough to have a great manager for many years and his strengths were his willingness to consult (but then make a confident decision), his trust in his staff and his humanity. He was always approachable, never micro-managed and kept everything in perspective. He didn’t overload his staff but didn’t baby them either. He fostered a team spirit and lead by example. A really great guy :-)”

Eleni

What a week. Congratulations SSU graduates!

Happy weekend!

I meant to write a post about the most recent book I’ve finished reading (Awakenings) and the incredible film inspired by it but I didn’t get the time. I started writing about it today but I couldn’t not mention how my week’s been and the post became ridiculously long.

So I decided to dedicate this post my Solent Graduation week experience.

I had an amazing week (although my feet and back still hurt but totally and utterly worth it)  and I’d love to share the highlights with you.

The week didn’t start that well, I felt very unproductive for the last 10 days, thinking of what to do now, what to do next and I had this stubborn cold that wouldn’t go away, which made me feel even worse. But the week got better, way better than I thought.

On Tuesday I handed our Snowdonia climb money to my lovely friend Dan who is part of Tempo Wellbeing and will be planning a festival very soon with the amount we raised. So happy we helped such a wonderful cause.  Thank you again to every single one of you who shared/donated. We wouldn’t have done it without you.

From Wednesday until yesterday I had the most amazing time helping out with the 2017 Southampton Solent Graduation.

I’ve worked at Solent for the last 6 years but this was the first time I’ve volunteered for this and I’m incredibly proud and honoured I got to play a tiny part in it.

I love being around people, having interesting conversations, learning from others and I seize every opportunity to get out of the office, so I’m very happy I was given the chance to be part of our Graduation.

My main responsibility (on top of selling water, crowd control and general advice and guidance) was getting our graduates on stage. I fixed their gowns and hats, comforted them when they felt nervous and reminding them to take a breath and smile. What a lovely feeling to see the smile and excitement on their face.

I, as many of my colleagues who are not academics, sit in front of a PC for 8 hours every day, doing our best to keep the system up to date and working, making sure their fees are correct and on the system on time, spending hours and days updating fee regulations and so on and although I’m aware how our work impacts on our students’ experience, we don’t get to interact with students or follow their journey until the end.

To watch them graduate after three years of swimming in the adult sea, learning how to live on their own, trying hard to find a balance between partying and studying was incredible.

Some of our students, as a lot of students do,  struggled with personal issues, disability, mental and physical health issues. And I felt immensely proud to watch them get on that stage.

Needless to say it got emotional a couple of times. One of my favourite moments was a sweet, young lady, who was on a wheelchair but didn’t want to use it on stage, walking up the stairs and the crowd clapping and cheering her on. It still gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

I cried when a brave mum who got up on stage to accept the degree on behalf of her son, who died recently. She was accompanied by her son’s classmates who some of them also worked at graduation, filming.

I was proud to watch one of the students I knew under my previous role at SSU, who worked for the University calling graduates asking them to complete the graduate survey, graduate himself a couple of years later. Congratulations Ben!

And although I did not know them personally, I was extremely proud for all Cypriot students who graduated this week. Out of everyone, I can understand best how tough it can get living alone in a foreign country, let alone when you are so young.

I loved the singer, who sang for all ten graduations and graduated herself on Wednesday. I later found she is Greek. I knew as soon as I heard her voice! Amazing voice (and hair!). She will definitely go far.

We also had lots of fun! As you’d expect. One of the reasons I love Solent is people. Most of them are the loveliest, sweetest, funniest people I’ve ever met.  I loved our chats when we got some time to sit down and rest, running up and down in our gowns, Steve Carter pretending to through his graduation book to me every time he saw me, free ice cream, lots of laughter on the MASSIVE deck chairs. Taking photo on the chairs with our boss was definitely one of the highlights!

 

 

 

Some of the funniest bits was watching our lovely Academics doing their best to pronounce difficult names. Martin Skivington pronouncing a name which unfortunately included the f word in the surname made everyone in the room burst into laughing.

I can’t finish this post without thanking the graduation team and especially Sarah Bishop, the organiser, the brain, the main lady behind this. Sarah has not only worked hard for a year, as she does every year, to organise the graduation ceremonies to perfection, but she was there to deal with everything thrown at her. Angry, rude guests who haven’t booked tickets and demanded to be let in although the ceremony was fully booked, students who haven’t finished their degree but showed up anyway, personally taking care of graduates who were feeling ill on the day and many many more other little and big things who happened during last week. Superwoman!

To all of our graduates, if any happens to read this post, if I could give you one piece of advice is to live your life to the full and chase your dreams NOW, whatever they might be. Even if you think they are too big or too ambitious. Go for it. Don’t wait. Never wait.

What an amazing experience. If I’m still at Solent next year, although I hope I’d moved on by then, I’d love to be a part of it again.

If not, it will always be one of the most tiring, exhausting but beautiful moments of my life.

Enjoy your weekend everyone! I’m spending mine resting my feet.

I’ll post again in the next couple of days. And it will be all about Awakenings.

Love you all

Eleni x

 

 

Happy July!

Happy July to all! I hope this month brings you everything you wish for.

I’ve meant to post on Saturday but had a busy weekend and I’ve been suffering with sore throat since Sunday night so I didn’t get the chance to.

I spent all Saturday cleaning, organising stuff, sorting out things. I’ve been meaning to do that for a while because cleaning and organising my clothes, my shoes, my mugs, my earrings… add what else you can think of… helps me put my thoughts in order and feel more prepared to start my long-anticipated pursuit of new beginnings and a new life. I’m sure that’s not just me?

Before…
After!

I never want to go back to those black winter days and months. And I’m determined not to.

On Sunday I got to sing with my Solent friends at the Hat Fair and it was EPIC (photos on my insta https://www.instagram.com/eleni_zenonos/)! The sun was shining, you could see acrobats on one side, jugglers on the other, hundreds of stalls with bracelets, fairy clothes, food and many many more.

I met with my bestie afterwards and spent the afternoon chatting away for hours whilst having tea in the sun. What a beautiful day that was.

And then it was Monday…again…

Just to get it out of the way, I do not hate my job, I love my colleagues and I know there is always worse and work is not everything.

But for me it is a large part of my life and I’m itching to do something more meaningful, more exciting. I can’t spend the rest of my life checking spreadsheets in Excel, composing fee regulations and making amendments on Quercus. I can do much more than that. And if I don’t do it now I never will. I’m well aware that when I start a family, moving jobs and/or cities/countries/continents will be almost impossible.

I’m still not sure what I wish to do next, I’ve always wanted to chase my ‘becoming  a Psychologist’ dream, as most Psychologist graduates do, but, although I’m strongly against the ‘I’m too old’ notion, I can’t really afford to right now financially, I might never do and I the thought of trying to save money for years to be able to re-train is too painful.

So… I’ll just go with the flow and when an opportunity I find interesting comes along, I’ll go for it.

And I’ll also do my absolutely very best to travel more. It’s such a cliche but there is so much beauty out there, so many diverse cultures, customs, cuisines that I’ve only seen on TV…

I was incidentally chatting to a colleague on Friday night, whilst having a couple of drinks with two lovely mothers to be who are now on maternity leave (don’t know much about babies so I thought I’d talk about travelling, one of my top three topics for discussion), about this documentary I watched on Costa Rica’s rich culture, gorgeous rain forests and the annual sea turtle nesting, ( the full title was Escape to Costa Rica-by Gaia Vince- definitely worth a watch, it made me set Costa Rica on the top of my bucket list) and I was in shock when he told me that he was in Costa Rica around the turtle nesting period, and although he had no idea before he arrived there, he got to watch the newborn tiny turtles walk into the sea. How amazing that must have been. We then talked about Cuba, another country high on my bucket list… I discovered amongst others, that he is an amazing photographer, how he arranged his life in such a way that he can travel often and that every trip he went became an amazing adventure, my favourite kind of holiday.

Needless to say that was the most interesting conversation I had in a while. I’m always amazed how much you can learn from others that you’d never expect to when you are open and happy to chat.

For now I can’t afford Costa Rica, but I’m going to Italy for the first time in September and I’m counting down the days.

For now I try my best to enjoy my life as it is.

And I’ll post most of it, when I can 🙂

Hope you are having a lovely, sunny Tuesday afternoon 🙂

Love you all

Eleni x