Usually my posts have a positive, optimistic tone, but this one does not, well most of it doesn’t. But life is not always full of roses and you can’t always be nice.
It’s been a while since I last posted… I promised to myself I will only post when I feel like it, as the only purpose of this blog is to share lessons I learned worth sharing with everyone… I felt the need to post a couple of times but when sharing through my blog or other social media that are public means everyone in the whole wide world can read and some things I only want to share with friends (that’s what’s FB for).
But anyway… after the bank holiday, summer is officially over!
It’s been one of the best summers I had in years… or maybe ever… A big, fun, crazy adventure! Celebrations, birthdays, christening, nights in playing the guitar, reading, daydreaming, nights out dancing, crossing a motorway, jumping off a wall and sprinting through a bridge over the Thames, Jason Bourne style, to catch a Shakespeare play under the stars in central London at midnight, the most amazing time back home, sunny days at the beach, sunny lunches and picnics at the park, spending time with friends and family, making new friends, wandering around, music, always music, finding out more about British culture and life in general (thank you Donna!), learning new life skills such as how to jump start a car or change bulbs, lots of fun and laughter…
But summer is over! And it feels like an end of an era!
It’s been challenging at times but I feel better than ever…
And I got my confidence back! A couple of months ago I’d never imagine posting a video of me singing or playing the guitar let alone both (I’m novice at both as you can see if you watched my videos). A friend told me they would never be confident enough to do it and my response was “I wouldn’t either a while ago, but I spent years doubting myself and worrying what others might think. And it was not worth it”. If I want to post a video of me singing a song for my best friend because she had a bad day and I wanted to make her feel better and declare my love and support publicly, but someone doesn’t like it, or doesn’t like me so what? It’s human nature, we can’t and don’t like everything and everyone and not everyone likes us. And it’s OK. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea nor are you.
So here it comes the most important lesson I learnt over the last few months…
A couple of weeks ago I was lying on the grass at the park, had my headphones on, enjoying listening to my music whilst having my lunch in the sunshine and then this guy comes over, gets off his bike and starts chatting to me. I took my headphones off so not to be rude, but it was VERY obvious I’d rather be left alone. I hardly spoke to him or made any eye contact, my answers were short, I didn’t even ask for his name until he was about to leave just out of politeness but he still sat there chatting to me for 15 minutes. It wasn’t even an interesting conversation. In the end I had to say, after he turned the convo where he wanted to and said he was “looking for a partner to drink ouzo with (as if all Greek/Cypriot people only drink ouzo, what a cringy pick up line, don’t ever use that on Cypriots, it doesn’t work!)” that I was not looking for an “ouzo-drinking” partner.
He wasn’t rude but he should have left me alone. It was OBVIOUS I was not interested. And it spoilt my lunch, it spoilt my ‘me’ time enjoying the sunshine and the music and watching people, making up crazy, fun stories about them, it just spoilt the moment.
After that and other incidents recently (worse than the one I mentioned above), which I cringe even thinking about so I won’t mention, I decided I won’t take anything from anyone anymore even if it means being rude, which I hate doing but it’s sometimes necessary.
I don’t know if that’s across the whole country but people here are too polite most of the time (not always) to show their annoyance or disagreement and are afraid they might come across as rude or inappropriate if they are honest and say what they really think even when chatting about everyday life issues.
So lesson learnt!! DON’T TOLERATE ANYTHING THAT YOU DON’T LIKE/ ANNOYS/UPSETS YOU. When someone is being annoying or creepy tell them off, show it. Just do it. Don’t ask for help or if anyone offers to help you deal with it, just say no and do it yourself. You don’t need anyone to protect you, because you won’t always have someone to do that, learn to deal with it yourself, it’s a basic, essential life skill!
Don’t get me wrong, I hate moaning and I’m nice, friendly and polite most of the time but there are limits.
I live on my own, I have no family close by and when things break or I accidentally hurt myself-all the time-(accident proneness/string of bad luck whatever it is the result is the same) or I get ill or run out of milk or money, I’m the only one responsible and the only one who can help myself (yeah I don’t like asking for help either, I am too proud!). So I won’t take sh** from anyone and I’m not willing to let anything or anyone spoil my moment. I won’t be nice if you are mean to me or sleazy or make a weird comment or you behave inappropriately.
Lesson I learnt again these last 2-3 months: Learn to say NO! Only hang out with people you really want to and do things YOU want to. Life is too short to compromise and waste time on things you don’t really enjoy just to be nice! If you don’t want to reply to that message or go somewhere, then don’t. And don’t feel guilty. Everyone does it! If you feel bad being completely honest (although my advice is just be honest!), make up excuses everyone does and have a universal meaning everyone will get such as: “I’ve been very busy”.
And last lesson for today: “age appropriate” is nonsense (not to confuse with being immature!). I’ve been given valuable advice which I appreciate on how I need to start thinking about my future as I’m getting older and do things people at my age should do like buy a house (and other related “life goals”). But I won’t. I can’t sacrifice my present so I can have a better future which I might, probably not even get to live long enough to enjoy. Sad but true…
The last 8 months have been a big adventure, not a single dull moment and I wouldn’t change that for anything else. I don’t ever want to go back to how my life was a couple of months ago. So I’ll take my chances. I love taking risks and that’s what spices up my life. Who knows what the future holds. I hope mostly nice surprises!
I want to AGAIN thank all of my friends, old and new and my family. You can’t imagine how I appreciate and value the support and love you show me. I love you all so much words can’t even describe and those of you I am far away from now, know that I really miss you and can’t wait to see you again soon (maybe sooner thank you think!).
So that’s what I learned over the last few months. I learned to be feistier and not tolerate anything I shouldn’t. And I got my confidence back.
I am definitely not the person I used to be even a couple of months ago. And I am glad. I’ll never be that weak, scared person ever again. I rarely say “never” but in this case I’m sure. That wasn’t me. That was a person I let others turned me into, but not anymore. I’m never going back to that. If that means I might sometimes come across as rude or cruel or selfish or crazy then let it be.
So here’s to the last 3 months of 2016! A lot of exciting things coming up and I can’t wait! I hope the last few months of this year are amazing for all of us!
PS Love you to the moon and back Shebz!!! I am sure you are having an amazing time but I already missed you very very very much! xxxxx
Love you all! x
Lessons I learned after I turned 30 